One last YIHAAA towards my final destination. Goodbye people

[TriggerHappy]

... ok so let's all strip down to our skivvies and check the naked truth :: my drug of choice is heroin (super functional /tolerant yeah) but :: I have issues with its chemical quality :: training white is better / refined however it sometimes shifts colour when added to water (murky opaque golden-ochre brown) This opaqueness is a mindfuck as it makes the flash of blood impossible to see, so you never quite know if you've hit a vein.
My dealer has seriously masterful shit, so I'm thinking fentanyl (there already is in Thaiwhite) / oxy are what's needed to push me over the edge.
But living in the arse end of Africa teaches us not to trust the postal service... how do I know if my darkweb access is legit? The fact that I go scoring armed (&reputation) guarantees I get good stuff, online what - do I send strongly worded emails?!
It may seem a bit impotent! Lol. Besides, have u seen the fkg arrests? Dealers are even prosecuted for clients' od's! (Man, sumtimes I love Karma!)
I just know that I don't fkg know!!
Thanks, Trigger.

Ye but if you have 10 + patches...

You see then you're wrong

Meto is a med against puking

Ok, yeah I get that. If it works I don't care that i look like a board full of post-it notes!!
But its slow release.
I don't wanna feel my kidneys failing or choking on my own phlegm (so wierd, it happened & i don't even smoke!) before I lose conciousness (trust me true od, where things shut down hurt like nobody's business) . Ods are commonplace, but reactions & times & processes have to all co-operate before you get the desired result.Thats why I won't od on H alone, it just slows the death process/ system and again, every fucking ambulance is stocked with naloxone :: you can be out for days, and the fuckerz Disco Lazarus your arse right back. I know.
I saw the light (not really).

 

[thebigpigman]

So this is going to be my Goodbye-thread. I rly started to enjoy my time here in the forum and some people here rly helped by being supportive. I've had some fun time in the chat as well. Also to open up here and telling my story in my post rly helped, but my time has come.

So I've packed my backpack, got my entire money and prepared everything for my ctb. I'll start this last journey in the next couple of days to find a place that is so beautiful that it makes we wanna die there. I wont die in my home country, that's my final wish. So I'll walk every single km towards this final destination. I'm still young enough to walk 40km's a day and my time at the army will also help to achieve this goal to walk there.

It still provides a chance for me to not commit suicide. I've always loved to travel and hiking. But right here and now the chance for that are around 1%. So the chance for me to ctb still ramins at 99% and I rly want to ctb. So let's see what will happen during this journey towards Italy. It will be around 1500km's to get to my destination. So there is plenty of time to change my mind but I rly believe I've suffered enough and I finally have the right to die.

My method will be Fentanyl. I have 500mg's of this shit in my backpack. Way more than enough to kill myself. I could actually kill more than 200 people with this amount. So it should be a pretty safe way to quit this shit humans call life.

I hope for everyone in this forum to find his peace. The peace everyone deserves. And it doesn`t matter if u ctb or keep going. Just make it better than myself. I've fucked up big times. So if it is possible for u, become happy, in death or in life. I couldn't do it, even tho i tried. So this is my second wish. For u guys to become happy

Goodbye people, I wish every single one of u well.


*Edit: Right now I'm writing goodbye peoms and letters. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I wish you a safe journey dude. I haven't got the chance to do like you. I will do it in my room. But your last adventure seems pretty interesting.

 

[ContinuousJump]

Thinking of you, @BreakTheCycle...

If you're still traveling/hiking I hope you're doing very well.

Your plan, 40 km/day, in some isolated/rough terrain without coms... was so inspiring... I'm very much hoping your army training is paying you back for your service to them!

And if there have been any "hiccups" or things not going as planned... please be kind and patient with yourself. We all love you here!

Ein Prost to you, @BreakTheCycle!

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Henlooo SS people,

Let me give you a little update about my journey.
Everything took longer than I expected it. I went crazy with drugs and alcohol and got kinda addicted. I've been drinking a bottle of vodka and many beers every day. Besides that I took a lot of benzos, kratom, coke, amphetamine, mdma,.... but the worst part has actually been me trying the Fent. I nearly killed myself twice with this substance and both times I woke up in hospital. At least I can tell now that this substance will be a peaceful method. All I can remember is taking the substance, being knocked out and waking up in hospital. So no pain or suffering at all. So I'm happy I chose this as my method.

But what about the actual journey?
It finally has begone.
The first 250km are behind me and I've met some1 from SS and spend the day with her. It's been a really nice time and I'm happy I had the chance to meet her. We both plan to ctb but I still hope we get to see each other again. Maybe in this life. Maybe after this life.

So after I finally started my journey I already feel better. To know that my entire life fits in a backpack and I can carry it everywhere I go makes me feel so free I can't describe it. Meeting her as my first stop in combination with this feeling actually brings me joy and I'm kinda happy right now while lying in my hammock and typing these words. The only thing that sucks is the rain but that's something I can't change and it's been obvious that this would happen. So I just have to deal with some stuff being wet but it doesn't really affect my positive feelings even tho I hate rain during hiking.

I can only post while having Wi-Fi so I don't know when I can send this or make another post but I'll try my very best to keep you guys updated.

So I hope everyone here is also having a better time than before like me. I know how bad life can be an I still have thoughts about ctb but once again I'm also looking at the beautiful parts of life. The only reason I can see the beauty is because right now I'm doing what I love and I rly hope you can find the same for yourself. Something that lets you forget the bullshit of this world even if it's just for a brief moment and let's you see the beauty.

Until the next update SS people

Thinking of you, @BreakTheCycle...

If you're still traveling/hiking I hope you're doing very well.

Your plan, 40 km/day, in some isolated/rough terrain without coms... was so inspiring... I'm very much hoping your army training is paying you back for your service to them!

And if there have been any "hiccups" or things not going as planned... please be kind and patient with yourself. We all love you here!

Ein Prost to you, @BreakTheCycle!

Thanks for your kind words. Until now everything works out as planned.
I wish u the very best and Prost

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Learn to use the darknet and you can find anything. And there aren't any fentanyl pills out there only powder.

The OD's happened at home. One of the reasons it took me longer to get my journey started.
By now I'm clean and roam Europe.
So Mmmmh maybe reread.

 

[AntHydra]

I also want to give out my well-wishes once more.
I don't have much more to say than I've already said to you, but I'd like to reiterate that I admire your determination and courage.
I admire the outlook you have too; to care about the beauties of the world, to want to spend the last stretch of it all wandering to see it and to actually go and do it.
May that adventure continue to be beautiful.

 

[agate]

Wait a second, you're going to cross national borders with illegal drugs on you? What am I missing here?

I was thinking the same . It sounds very risky. He could end up in jail for being a drug smuggler. The last thing he needs.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Cya guys on the other side or when ever. Have a great life and make the best out of it.

 

[Death is beautiful]

Cya guys on the other side or when ever. Have a great life and make the best out of it.

I don't understand, are you still with us? Or is it written by his relative

 

[Euthanza]

You can't o.d on fentanyl (Durogesic) transdermal patches :: they're designed to be slow release :: no high no nausea & not the best adhesive (secure patch with brown waterproof packaging tape on your back or even inner thigh :: if u using them medicinally, in my opinion!)
What u wanna do is shoot up (groin is the sweet spot, it will stop your heart) the pretty blue jobs. Or the pink/ white jobs (oxy) Schnarfin em is like snorting pool acid. If youre determined to snort (can't find veins; then finely crush light bulb glass into powder (you bleed but you absorb whatever u need to) into it. Sound barbaric*, but we used to do that with ecstasy. I truly don't advise :: rather load revolvers if u gonna be that hardcore.
*Guess the days of bring precious ended when we started to cut, hang, shoot, jump, drug & asphyxiate ourselves...

https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Druggist-used-pain-patches-to-end-his-life-2860267.php

O btw please forget about injecting/snorting crushed light bulb glasses powder. It's gore.