One last YIHAAA towards my final destination. Goodbye people

[BreakTheCycle]

So this is going to be my Goodbye-thread. I rly started to enjoy my time here in the forum and some people here rly helped by being supportive. I've had some fun time in the chat as well. Also to open up here and telling my story in my post rly helped, but my time has come.

So I've packed my backpack, got my entire money and prepared everything for my ctb. I'll start this last journey in the next couple of days to find a place that is so beautiful that it makes we wanna die there. I wont die in my home country, that's my final wish. So I'll walk every single km towards this final destination. I'm still young enough to walk 40km's a day and my time at the army will also help to achieve this goal to walk there.

It still provides a chance for me to not commit suicide. I've always loved to travel and hiking. But right here and now the chance for that are around 1%. So the chance for me to ctb still ramins at 99% and I rly want to ctb. So let's see what will happen during this journey towards Italy. It will be around 1500km's to get to my destination. So there is plenty of time to change my mind but I rly believe I've suffered enough and I finally have the right to die.

My method will be Fentanyl. I have 500mg's of this shit in my backpack. Way more than enough to kill myself. I could actually kill more than 200 people with this amount. So it should be a pretty safe way to quit this shit humans call life.

I hope for everyone in this forum to find his peace. The peace everyone deserves. And it doesn`t matter if u ctb or keep going. Just make it better than myself. I've fucked up big times. So if it is possible for u, become happy, in death or in life. I couldn't do it, even tho i tried. So this is my second wish. For u guys to become happy

Goodbye people, I wish every single one of u well.


*Edit: Right now I'm writing goodbye peoms and letters. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

 

[Amumu]

Your post is beautifully written, and you seem to be an awesome person. I really like you friend.

I hope you find peace whatever you choose.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Your post is beautifully written, and you seem to be an awesome person. I really like you friend.

I hope you find peace whatever you choose.

Hey,
you'r also one of the people that gave me a great time in chat.
Thx for your kind words.

 

[ClownMe]

Travel safe and I hope you find eternal peace.

 

[Fakereality]

I always find the idea of traveling one last journey before the end beautiful but I have never been able to travel outside my own state, may you enjoy your travels and choose the path you think is best for you and the cycle of pain breaks leaving only relief and peace for you behind.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Be peaceful and don't go into the light

 

[BreakTheCycle]

I always find the idea of traveling one last journey before the end beautiful but I have never been able to travel outside my own state, may you enjoy your travels and choose the path you think is best for you and the cycle of pain breaks leaving only relief and peace for you behind.

There's only 1 thing i can say to you. If u wanna do it, don't think twice and go for it.
I've been doing so much stupid shit in my life and everyone kept teeling me that I'm crazy. I've been travelling alone for so much and it's always been the best times in my life. Being alone on a road trip and meeting many awesome people ? One of the best times in my life. Going alone to a psy-tance festival and meeting awesome people ? One of the best times in my life. U start your journey alone but u'll never be truely alone.
If your physical health allows u to do something like this and in your mind it is already beautiful trust me and it's going to be even more beautiful than your imagination is capable to dream about.
I'm just a random stranger in the interet that want's to ctb so my opinion and advice is worth kinda nothing but if u wanna go on this journey i highly recommend to just not give a fuck and start it. It's going to be a hard life but it's a free life.

Be peaceful and don't go into the light

Like I've said, there's a 99% chance for me to go in the light. I don't fear death. For me death is something beatiful. A way to end the suffering and no longer being a reason for more suffering that starts to exist. That's also the reason for my name. I believe in the "Cycle of suffering", someone might know out of buddhism. I always tried to not be the reason to cause more suffering. I've failed there. So my ctb means to break the cycle. I'm happy to leave this world behind and in my next life I'm going to be a bird, something I'm rly looking forward to. These are just my personal believes so don't take it too serious.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Wait a second, you're going to cross national borders with illegal drugs on you? What am I missing here?

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Wait a second, you're going to cross national borders with illegal drugs on you? What am I missing here?

EHMMMMMMMMMMMMM NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm not. *very loud and suspicous coughing*

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

EHMMMMMMMMMMMMM NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm not. *very loud and suspicous coughing*

Lol, guess it's possible to walk around the checkpoints or something.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Lol, guess it's possible to walk around the checkpoints or something.

It's Europe. No borders or border control at all. Besides that I'm not screaming "HELLO HERE I AM". I cross borders through forests. Once again my time at the army is going to help me here. I kinda know how to not be detected by authorities.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

It's Europe. No borders or border control at all. Besides that I'm not screaming "HELLO HERE I AM". I cross borders through forests. Once again my time at the army is going to help me here. I kinda know how to not be detected by authorities.

Epic af, I've never crossed borders on foot.

 

[Lmd]

Sounds great! I hope you enjoy the trip.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Sounds great! I hope you enjoy the trip.

I'm definitely going to enjoy it.
Thanks for your words.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I'll burn a candle for you, hoping you'll find what you are looking for.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

I'll burn a candle for you, hoping you'll find what you are looking for.

Thank u <3

 

[FuneralCry]

You deserved better than what this life gave you, and I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope you find the peace that you are looking for.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

You deserved better than what this life gave you, and I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope you find the peace that you are looking for.

Hey,
we never rly wrote with each other through PM's or in chat since I've never seen you there.
But let me tell you that you'r a great person. Under nearly every post in this forum u say something supportive. U always find kind words. And u invest a lot of time to say something nice to other people in this forum. For this I want to say thank u.
People like u make this forum to something great and helpful to many people here that are suicidal.
I wish u the very best and since u wrote that your ctb is inevitable I'm 100% sure you'r going to find the peace u deserve.
(And psssst: people like u are great from nature and very rare in this world. Try to ignore the thoughts that tell you otherwise)

 

[logan]

I like your plan - it will definitely be an adventure - even if it might be the last.

And the good thing is that you alone decide how long your trip will last.

And if you change your mind, it will still be an unforgettable experience.

Nature can put a lot of things in order in us.

It would be nice if you reported something about your experiences from time to time.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

I like your plan - it will definitely be an adventure - even if it might be the last.

And the good thing is that you alone decide how long your trip will last.

And if you change your mind, it will still be an unforgettable experience.

Nature can put a lot of things in order in us.

It would be nice if you reported something about your experiences from time to time.

I hope I can report about my journey but it's going to be hard since I'm not going to take a mobile phone with me. Still I'll try my best.
Nature and hiking alone there has always been the thing that sparked the most joy inside me. So yeah, it might put things in order.
Thx for your words <3

 

[megafire]

enjoy your hike dear. you seem like a very pleasant person. the spot you find will be blessed with your energy

 

[BreakTheCycle]

enjoy your hike dear. you seem like a very pleasant person. the spot you find will be blessed with your energy

Thank your for your kind words <3

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

Lol, guess it's possible to walk around the checkpoints or something.

sure, if you don't walk on highways or routes that are commonly checked for immigration, you won't meet anyone. The borders of I. are on the Alps, I used to walk through the mountains borders of It. Au., Sl. and Sw. without any trouble..

Wonderful landscapes. @BreakTheCycle I'd come with you with my backpack and tent :°)

 

[BreakTheCycle]

sure, if you don't walk on highways or routes that are commonly checked for immigration, you won't meet anyone. The borders of I. are on the Alps, I used to walk through the mountains borders of It. Au., Sl. and Sw. without any trouble..

Wonderful landscapes. @BreakTheCycle I'd come with you with my backpack and tent :°)

No joke, feel free to join me. I don't care about anything anymore. Just this year i tried to ctb twice. So why should I care about anything ? Any consequences ? I wanna be dead, so nothing matters.

 

[Bullit]

EHMMMMMMMMMMMMM NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm not. *very loud and suspicous coughing*

Advice: Don't get caught!!!!!

 

[Vault of Memories]

I'd rather go via F than SN tbh. Got no idea how you were able to acquire 500mg of it, but I'm a bit jealous of that. If it comes to this, I hope you find the peace you're looking for.

 

[BreakTheCycle]

Advice: Don't get caught!!!!!

I won't. Those idiots trained me to survive behind the enemy line and gather informations.
Thx for your concerns <3

I'd rather go via F than SN tbh. Got no idea how you were able to acquire 500mg of it, but I'm a bit jealous of that. If it comes to this, I hope you find the peace you're looking for.

I grew up using the dark net. It's pretty easy to get everything there. I ordered way more because they don't sell it in low quantitys. Get some knowledge about the darknet. In the end everything that has to do with that is kinda easy and everyone can learn it. There are entire guides on how to use DM's (darknet markets) and if u invest 2-3 weeks u gathered enough knowledge to be safe in the "real world wide web". If u rly wanna get F to leave this world, I'm sure you'll be able to do so.
Thx for your kind words, I wish u well.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

I'd come with you but Im not as fit as I used to be. Probably couldn't handle the terrain. Be light and free. Don't carry any dead weight.

The cool thing about Fent is that they will assume it was an accident and u fell pray to drugs.

Are you intentionally trying not to have your body found?


EDIT: Do you have any items such that you can transmit coordinates if you needed to?

 

[Makko]

Sounds like loads of fun. Good luck.

There are normally no border controls within the EU but there are temporary tightenings due to Covid. At some places you may be turned away or quarantined if you don't have a vaccination pass.

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

No joke, feel free to join me. I don't care about anything anymore. Just this year i tried to ctb twice. So why should I care about anything ? Any consequences ? I wanna be dead, so nothing matters.

if I had my luggages ready, I'd come with you. But I don't have anymore the health to be able to do such long journeys by foot. I'd only slow you down. And I would bias your choice, as I would 100% ctb.