S
Sadbanana
God doesn't care
- Aug 20, 2024
- 99
Around a month ago I was spending most of my time just staring into a wall and praying to die. I had barely energy to play games anymore, they justs didn't give me the same joy as when I wasn't so fucked up. I didn't watch any series or anything like that. I wasn't even watching porn, because I was too numb to feel any pleasure and it just reminded me how this world rejected me, just knowing that all those girls wouldn't like me anyways makes it hard to find it enjoyable.
It's very hard place to be. But recently I got a lot into dark souls and played it non stop. It started with Elden ring, then I played ds1 and now I'm on ds2. It doesn't just feel like a fun videogame to me, it's too challenging for that. it's in a way like a chore or a duty, but on in a bad sense of the word. I get a feeling of accomplishment.
I noticed that it didn't gives me the same joy as when I used to play Hollow knight (my first souls like) few years ago, because I can barely feel any joy now. But dark souls is something that I want to finush, before I die.
I'm scared that once I finish it I will be back in that bad spot. But that is just inevitable.
It's very hard place to be. But recently I got a lot into dark souls and played it non stop. It started with Elden ring, then I played ds1 and now I'm on ds2. It doesn't just feel like a fun videogame to me, it's too challenging for that. it's in a way like a chore or a duty, but on in a bad sense of the word. I get a feeling of accomplishment.
I noticed that it didn't gives me the same joy as when I used to play Hollow knight (my first souls like) few years ago, because I can barely feel any joy now. But dark souls is something that I want to finush, before I die.
I'm scared that once I finish it I will be back in that bad spot. But that is just inevitable.