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ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,446
A question arose today: how do I stop being such a depressed motherfucker?
I mean, sure, I have plenty of things to be depressed about - epilepsy, my fucked up right hand, the fact I can't tolerate cold, goodbye threads, plenty more...
But today during my morning walk I realized my whole persona has shifted from "being depressed about epilepsy, but otherwise neutral" to "boohoo depression all the time".
During my time in rehab I've seen plenty of people not depressed despite being Stephen Hawkins levels of fucked up.
I met a guy who can't even communicate because all he knows is "Chinse, simplified", as google translate described it.
Apparently, I'm the only one who had google translate installed, and literally nobody else spoke with that guy.
...I'm pretty sure I'm missing an E somewhere in "Chinse simplified"...
He was... I don't know a stronger word than "happy" to discover someone else speaks "Chinse simplified" and pestered me for about 4 days while I was running around, telling people to install google translate on their phones and explaining how to use the speaking option...
I was missing a relatively small chunk of my skull. I've seen a guy literally missing half of his head, and yet, in good spirits about it. He said the only thing he misses is sleeping on his left side of his head.
My roommate had this array of spikes coming out of his torso area. I've seen a woman quite literally "slow", she understood this, and yet she didn't give up fighting yet.
And yet, here I am, the depressed-about-everything motherfucker.
Sure, I have 3 lines about clinical depression in my file, each describing... what kind, I guess... still the question persists.
How does one stops being a clinically depressed motherfucker ABOUT EVERYTHING?
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,168
It sounds like you are angry about being depressed. This can be useful in providing the energy and momentum to experiment with things that might help. Considering the different ways a person can be depressed, it is tricky to find some management tactic.

If a person has bipolar (i or II) it is going to be different from clinical depression. This will be different than a psychological or developmental depression or one that comes from an event or situation.

Your being able to help the guy who only spoke Chinese may have given you a diversion from your depression and even if only for a short while gave some relief as you were trying to help him. If this is the case, you might find some relief in other opportunities to help people.

Sometimes excessive self-focus can exacerbate depression because of a focus on what one wants and can't get. Being able to break out of that intense focus can be a way to find occasional relief.
 
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ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,446
It sounds like you are angry about being depressed. This can be useful in providing the energy and momentum to experiment with things that might help. Considering the different ways a person can be depressed, it is tricky to find some management tactic.
I don't even know anymore.
At this point I wouldn't be surprised if some therapist (which I can't afford) decided I'm depressed OVER BEING DEPRESSED.
 
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TheBestUsernameEver

Student
Dec 26, 2021
111
Meds really helped me, taken consistently and at a meaningful dosage.

It has also helped to join a local friendship group so that I concentrate on real life rather than who has posted what on social media.

I'll be resuming my studies in September too.

I can only share what worked for me.
Perhaps taking meds and developing an interest in something would help?

Be aware that recovery is a process and not an event 🙂
 
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