Discussion On a scale of 1 (not surprised at all) - 10 (absolutely shocked), what will the general reaction be after you ctb?

[LastFlowers]

I want to say a 1, because my predicament is pretty fucking obvious (though I guess you'd also have to care to notice the suffering, which most of my family does not), but I've been isolated for awhile now and my misery has become so dragged out that I wonder if those around me even think I'll go through with it, or if in their near-sightedness they think I'll actually just sit here and take this fucking nightmare any longer (not happening), because in that case, it could be closer to a 9, but the shock would quickly be diluted by apathy regarding my entire existence and personhood.

 

[Someone123]

2-ish from family and a few people at work, 5ish from people I work with who don't know me well.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Somewhere from a 3-6 for my friends. They all know I'm mentally ill and that I've been trying to off myself for 20 years, though my last time in the psych ward was 7 years ago.

100/10 for my landlady and roommates. They have zero knowledge of my past or my mental health issues.

 

[Al Cappella]

A solid 1, followed by "we never saw that coming!" Which is complete BS. Of course they saw it coming.

 

[EvilStepSister]

2

No one will be surprised I did it, just surprised that I actually did it.

 

[Graytaichi]

10 because im a good actor

 

[mistersinister]

1

 

[Bedrock48]

I'd say around a 4, most people in my life know my history but people (especially neurotypicals) have a habit of being shocked that it happened even when it was, screaming in their face the whole time.

 

[ghostunderthelight]

For my two closest friends, perhaps a 2 or 3. We talk about our wish to die together quite often but I don't think any of us expect the other to actually carry it out.
For my family, a 7 or 8. They know my mental health problems but they believe I've gotten better.
For classmates, 9. A few know of my self-harm issues but most probably don't even think of me.

 

[Achlys]

7-9. To an outside observer, I expect my life appears to be changing for the better. In truth, I've never felt more hopeless.

For so many years, I've focused intensely on getting "better." It's the only reason I've continued to exist. Although things have improved in some respects, I have almost exhausted all paths available to me, making it all the more clear how unlikely it is I'll ever attain what I seek.

Those close to me have likely considered the possibility of me taking my life, but I've no doubt they'd find it nigh unfathomable were I to do so now.

 

[wellherewego]

If it happened right now, 10s across the board.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

My husband -- 10. He's clueless to my real emotional state. Granted, part of that is because I think he is a bit depressed himself.
My daughter -- 9. She's knows I'm really not happy day-to-day, but I'm good at putting on that cheerful face, so she doesn't know how bad I really am.
My son -- 5. He is the only one that I've recently spoken to about being really depressed. Mainly because he confided in me a few years back about being on the brink himself.

 

[downndone2]

5

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I have very few people in my life now. Very few. And the contact I have with them is infrequent. They all know what has gone on in my life over the last few years with all of my family dying. They all know how my life has been for the past 20 years. Honestly, they already probably wonder how it is that I'm still around. When I ctb they will not be surprised at all (1). It is how it is.

 

[Hirokami]

Maybe a 7? Everyone who's close enough to me knows I have depression, SI, and a history of SH. Though, I never really shared any plans so it would definitely seem out of nowhere. I think after the initial shock, people would "rationalize" (for lack of a better term) it. After all, would it really be that surprising if a person with documented SI went through with the act?

 

[Ta555]

Well Void, my dear departed friend. I'm still crying over you. Even though I knew it was coming it didn't hurt any less. I miss you. A lot.

 

[newave3]

Well Void, my dear departed friend. I'm still crying over you. Even though I knew it was coming it didn't hurt any less. I miss you. A lot.

Yes, it is always sad when a member succeeds in killing themselves. But let us also take consolation that Void used the most peaceful method available and that he is at peace. The peace that we all long for. Sweet death, how I crave thee.

 

[eremito]

For most people, I am just a shadow, an option. I think that if I CTB, no one will ever notice. Life which was not.

 

[its-about-time]

One person knows how close I am. She may still be somewhat surprised that I actually did it, I'm not really sure. I've kept it very well hidden from everyone else. They will be an 8 or 9 maybe even 10. Historically I can't hide my distress well and ask for help. Not this time, I think it'll seem pretty out of nowhere. I feel pretty relaxed and accepting so it's easy to hide.

 

[Ta555]

Yes, it is always sad when a member succeeds in killing themselves. But let us also take consolation that Void used the most peaceful method available and that he is at peace. The peace that we all long for. Sweet death, how I crave thee.

I know exactly what Void did. We were in contact off this site and became very close.

 

[Talvikki]

1

 

[WorthlessTrash]

7 probably. Mainly because denial.

 

[rabbitlinnt10]

3 lol

 

[CyberneticChesmistry]

Prob 8, idk.
ima suicidal and ive planning to ctb for a while. most ppl that i know dont even suspect that i want to end my life. i dont rlly know if i care about how they will feel, and it makes me feel kinda bad. its a rlly strange feeling.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'd say 9. People know something is very wrong. But suicide is a big leap and uncommon.

 

[SKDN]

2-4

 

[Quinlor]

My parents probably 9 or 10 because they are blinds, but my "friends" absolutely 1 or 2!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Kind of a moot point to me. If they're close to me they already have some inclination. If they're not, then they never mattered that much to me anyways.

 

[Graytaichi]

10 definaelty

 

[outrider567]

My stepmother and my cousin in Seattle, I think both women will be shocked despite knowing of my depression