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NotStrongEnough

NotStrongEnough

Nihilist extraordinaire
Oct 3, 2021
85
If I thought I could end it easily, peacefully, and painlessly, if I really thought that it would be as fast as it is in movies, 0. Because I know too much about what's possible if I fail, 10. And a third reason, I'm terrified of the idea of not thinking anymore. I want that, but I'm also terrified of that void.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,356
It's definitely NOT death I am afraid of. I have literally laughed at death on a couple of occasions I very nearly died. Another time, I KNEW I was dying. Doctor told me another 30 minutes and I wouldn't be breathing. But, instead of being scared as I was passing out with my sister shouting at me to stay awake as she sped to get me help, I felt very.....peaceful. Only thing that kept me from letting go was my sister and the rest of my family and friends. I no longer have friends as I speak to anybody I know. Including my family. Once I get the courage to try again, it should succeed. Been trying for a long time to distance everyone from me so it hurts much less when I do go. I think that time has nearly arrived. Might do the deed around Christmas time. Cruel? Sure. But so is encouraging me to live even though EVERYONE knows my mental health will continue to rapidly deteriorate and my future looks very grim. Kinda fucked up to ask someone to keep going in those circumstances....
 
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blueclover_.

blueclover_.

Better Never to Have Been: 2006, David Benatar
Oct 11, 2021
668
4/10. I'm worried about what's after death.
 
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JinZhin

JinZhin

we are in hell
Nov 2, 2021
187
I don't fear dying itself very much as "I was already dead before I was born" and we all were.
I fear what would happen if it failed and I had to keep on living with consequences,
Say 4 just for the sake of it(?)
 
N

Nolife33

Member
Nov 6, 2021
47
1/10 I'm just worried what happens after death.
 
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StarryStarry

StarryStarry

Cat Lady
Oct 25, 2021
749
I'm not afraid to die - it's a much better option that what I have. I'm afraid I'll not succeed and have brain activity and no physical abilities. Huge fear.
 
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J

Js10004

Member
Nov 20, 2021
7
10. I'm Not scared of pain or leaving or anything. I'm afraid of the cosmic consequences. I'm afraid of hell or karmic debt. I'm afraid no one will treat my dog as well as I would.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
In the abstract, may be a 5… If a bottle of N we're sitting right in front of me right now… I think I'd still be at a 7… As hopeless as I am It is still such a radical act… Pure self-destruction… It's still so extreme…
 
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R

Rd13

Member
Nov 2, 2021
11
7.

Going to do a drop hanging so my body shouldn't be in agony. Yet my regular being resists the act of doing it as I don't really feel I want to die. When I think of doing it I am really afraid.. picked a date and will 'just do it' for the sake of ending this hopeless trail and getting in the existence beyond this life.

Also afraid I might not do it right, though I've practiced the procedure at the ctb spot (knots, measures) some times..
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
1. I'm not afraid at all and am just ready to go. Peacefully and painlessly. There is absolutely nothing I look forward to other than death. I'm just mad because society makes it so hard to go in a painless, dignified way and I really don't want to go a more violent route.
I know it's crazy right? Here in the United States it's such a consumer culture or everything you want it's basically available to you one way or another… But this simple act of ending your life, Is incredibly difficult and painful…
 
miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
10. It is what it is. For me it's more of an escape and a botched life I entirely fucked up with my crazy head.
 
Samsara

Samsara

Experienced
Mar 9, 2020
246
Right now, 2. The only reason it isn't a 1 is because I am terrified of failing
 
E

Existingnotliving

Member
Feb 13, 2020
63
I'm really curious to hear your guys answers
If 10 is the most scared then 10 however I'm also a 10 on living. I don't won't to live at all but my fear of death keeps me here. Yet I know I'll die one day and that terrifies me, death is my biggest fear yet I can't prevent it. I don't see the point of all the pain and suffering in life just to end up dead anyway. It's a lose lose situation and I can't deal with it.
 
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Dystopia

Dystopia

💤💤💤
Jul 22, 2019
367
3. I'm confident with my peaceful method but not so much with my mind being stable and only have a perception what SI will be like when the time comes. This would probably be higher with a more painful method that could be less reliable and result in more problems from failure

As others have said I'm definitely more scared of a failed attempt as I'm already messed up enough as is. I'm not sure how I'd continue or function after a failure; but I don't plan to fail.
 
Pure

Pure

Specialist
Jun 29, 2021
366
10 but also life sucks so what's there to be done.
 
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P

PeacefulTonic

Enlightened
Aug 10, 2021
1,006
Are we talking about being scared of the act of suicide itself? Or being scared of what comes after? Either case it's a 1 for me. I'm more worried about how it will affect my loved ones
 
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RappyMaster

RappyMaster

Member
Nov 16, 2021
21
It's around a 4 for me.
The only reason I haven't CTB was because a really close friend of mine is going through some difficult shit, she also tried to CTB for the same reason I tried to. It is pretty strange, but she helped me a lot when I was younger so I'll be there for her, even if I CTN I'll find my way to protect her from the other side.
 
_Minsk

_Minsk

death: the cure for life
Dec 9, 2019
1,142
depends on my mood, when im already anxious and low, it scares me quite a bit, not really the act itself, bit what comes afterwards. when i feel better, it doesn't scare me as much i think but its fluctuating a bit most times and it also depends on my current mindset
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,653
not scared at all just need a peaceful way to die
 
W

wait-for-the-bus

Member
Dec 14, 2021
69
I am less and less scared about it as I plan for it.

The more I feel in control of what happens, the easier it feels it will be.

So I'd say a 5 going on 4
 
Grumpy Bear

Grumpy Bear

People are poison
Jul 21, 2021
150
3 but by comparison my fear of continuing life is like an 8.
 
bed

bed

CTBed
Aug 24, 2019
919
The process of dying scares the shit out of me, so probably a 10/10. I really can't afford failure.

Actually being dead doesn't really bother me because how could it? It's going to happen regardless at some point anyway, so 2/10
 
Last edited:
cambrai33

cambrai33

Traveller
Nov 3, 2021
386
I don't fear it , I just want to get it right. I have a main method and a party trick that I want to video and traumatise someone who encouraged me to ctb
 
NotSureToEndure

NotSureToEndure

Professor of not a lot
Aug 17, 2020
114
10 probably. (but i think the main anxiety is working out how to do it - and the fear of getting it wrong and ending up worse).

If there were a guaranteed, simple, DIY way then I don't think I'd be as worried, but alas, it's not that easy is it!
 

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