Method Ok I need serious help quick please

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Please help.
I've been lurking here & once I found out I couldn't OD on what I had, I found out about SN & put all my eggs in that basket. I ordered & received in a time frame when I thought I would be homeless. I've extended living with my ex & it is abusive & horrific & I just want to CTB. He is not the sole reason. It doesn't help though. So I planned to CTB the second I received & then I found out about AE & all this other stuff. And I've demeaned myself begging for help on here & it has varied wildly from generous to scammers & it's hard for a newbie tech illiterate to know the diff. And then life circumstances intervened in my CTB plan. And I let them. I've learnt nothing - people pleasing is a disgusting trait & if you have it, go get help. At a time when I need to put myself first I'm still last. Every time, I promise myself next time will be different, I'll put myself first. When everything calms down, when everyone else is ok, all of it. But I've been physically & sexually assaulted, I've lost nearly all my family members to death (still not getting a look in for a simple are you ok, how can I help…?
Just more abuse that I've accepted because I'm broken & my decision is already made anyway. But then, I didn't have the time to research & I can't afford to fuck it up. My ex that I'm still living with is constantly going through my physical & digital things - I can't tell you what I've hidden & where. And them my living situation, although horrific, meant I thought I could suffer it out here while I researched. Buy myself some time. And then it looked like there was a minor inheritance coming my way - I'm past flat broke & in debt through my eyeballs - it bought me some time with the ex because he thinks he deserves it… And so I tried to research. And thought the money was gonna come my way quickly & I could afford to go stay at a nice hotel to see out my last days. But the money is still tied up & I can't get an answer on that. I need to hock my wedding ring & I don't know how to get proper money for it - it's my only asset. And then I finally got some time to research & the fucking ex suddenly starts working from home - he knew something… And then, I'm shocked to learn this, I bought the BS that you have to wait a certain time to report someone missing - I had a perfect opportunity, or so I thought, & the plan was a really good lie about why I was off grid, go to a fancy rural cabin style hotel & enjoy a full day of last meals & books & tv shows & just chilling. And then fasting, doing the protocol, taking my time, not being found, all of that. I DID NOT KNOW that where I am, you can report someone missing after literally 20 minutes. FFS. My ex won't do that from concern, there'll be punishment involved. I thought I'd have time, chill, breathe, not rush, savour the alone time, prepare, get it right & go. But he'll destroy that in a second which ramps up the pressure. And then the fucking conflicting advice on here - I have nowhere else to go for help - I take 400 quietapine daily, I used to take 800. I have a high tolerance & I do not sleep. And I saw in Stan's & the bible that you can use it as AE. But I dint understand what the nM stuff means. And I have expired procleramide or whatever it is, but can't find out if still useful. But it was prescribed for seasickness & the guides say that's a no go. So I thought I might break my integrity & lie to an online doc about needing meto but the interaction checker says that's a no go. And I can't find out if that just means if you plan to live or not. So I wanted to go immediately, put off for a bunch of crap reasons & a bunch of legitimate reasons - I really thought I could have 24 -48 hours in a hotel & just do this well & PEACEFULLY & successfully. But it's getting further away & I can't have that. The abuse has ramped up. I can't take it. And I don't want any advice on shelters & how to escape, he's A reason, not the only reason. But what the fuck do I do now?? Knowing he can report me missing immediately. Knowing that meto & seroquel interact? Not knowing if seroquel is sufficient AE? Not knowing if my expired procleramide or whatever is any good??? It seems like the difference between success & failure is planning, AE & not being found. BUT I NEED TO GO. I can't take it anymore. In a lifetime of taking it, it's my time, I have to go. I just have to. Does anyone know if I can use quitapine as AE, even as long term "user"? If the AE I have will work, even though it's for travel sickness & years out of date? What to use instead of meto if it interacts so badly? How to read drug interaction checkers when they're designed for people who want to survive. I can give up the fancy hotel, I can give up the one day of me time that I really thought I deserved, all of it. But I have to go. I. Just. Can't. Take. It. Anymore. But. I. Can't. Afford. To. Get. It. Wrong. Please help me, please help me, please help me. I'm not a time waster, I'm not looking for sympathy or another way out. Just help to succeed. He's going through my stuff. I only have my goddamn phone. I don't have the luxury to do a better job by myself. I would if I could but I can't. The desperation is sickening. And I haven't tested my SN yet because I don't want to expose it or have him find it - he can't find it right now, I'm pretty sure. But if it's fake, I'm fucked. I'm fucked anyway. After tonight's abuse, I can't wait for anything else to be posted. I can't take anymore. I thought I could. But I just can't. FFS. ALL I DO IS RAMBLE HERE & LINGER LONGER. I don't want to ramble or linger longer. Faaarrrrkk. Please help me. Please. I hate this & I need to go.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Thank you for your hugs & stuff.
It's very kind & appreciated.
And I'm sorry for the rant.
But I'm still here.
Still lingering longer.
I've literally got about 5 minutes tonight by myself as safe time - for the whole day.
I'm not progressing. I can't. No time, no privacy, no safety.
I'm still going ahead with CTB. I had planned to do this right, be one hundred successful, not fuck it up, not make my life worse if I fail.
I'm beyond devastated, weeping & wailing but silently, on the floor - it's a real skill.
But now, it's time to pick a time.
This is my one shot.
And if I fail, I'll hate myself forever.
Guess that's my time for the day

 

[rozeske]

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. I haven't read your post in detail but have you looked at the sn bible guide? It has pretty much all the information. 5 minutes of privacy isn't sufficient for SN. Less than an hour is not sufficient.

SN Bible Sodium Nitrite Method (Comprehensive Guide SN Method)

Sodium Nitrite (SN) Method Introduction This document is a compilation of different sn information, members inputs, important posts related to sn, recorded suicide cases related to sn, different research on sn and so on. This document also give a full understanding of SN, what it is, how it...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. I haven't read your post in detail but have you looked at the sn bible guide? It has pretty much all the information. 5 minutes of privacy isn't sufficient for SN. Less than an hour is not sufficient.

SN Bible Sodium Nitrite Method (Comprehensive Guide SN Method)

Sodium Nitrite (SN) Method Introduction This document is a compilation of different sn information, members inputs, important posts related to sn, recorded suicide cases related to sn, different research on sn and so on. This document also give a full understanding of SN, what it is, how it...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thanks. I'm aiming for at least a day to CTB, if I can manage it. I've read most of the Stan's & the bible & working through them but I don't understand what the measurement of quetiapine is in nM? And I don't know because I take 400 a day, is that good or bad? And I used to take 800 & I've taken it for a long time. And it interacts with meto but I don't know if that's just for if you plan on living. I know getting AE right is vital but it's where I'm stuck. Stan & the bible both say prochlorperazine as an option - I have pills that say that word, followed by maleate. They're 5mg & I have 25. But they expired in 2021 & so I don't know if they're any good as well as not knowing if they're the right ones or how many to take - Stan & the bible say no seasick pills & that's what these were prescribed for. I've got to hurry up - I need answers about what to do for AE. I really need help with it. I'm fucked without it. The failed attempts seem to be about being found too early or getting AE wrong or not having AE. If I get the AE sorted, I'm pretty much set & just give up all other research. I'll test the SN immediately after & find a place to go where I'll have the time to not be found. Everything else just falls away. I'm not going to spend any more time freaking out about antacids & betablockers. Just get idiot proof answers on AE, test the SN & CTB. I NEED THIS

 

[Relic]

Quetiapine and metoclopramide should not be taken together, for any reason.

Prochlorperazine maleate is a salt form of its parent compound, with the same effects, including on the dopamine D2 receptor. This must not be combined with neither quetiapine or metoclopramide, as the side effects are the same.

Many (excluding antibiotics and a few others) medications are usable for ten (or more) years after the expiration dates, these are there for mostly legal reasons.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Quetiapine and metoclopramide should not be taken together, for any reason.

Prochlorperazine maleate is a salt form of its parent compound, with the same effects, including on the dopamine D2 receptor. This must not be combined with neither quetiapine or metoclopramide, as the side effects are the same.

Many (excluding antibiotics and a few others) medications are usable for ten (or more) years after the expiration dates, these are there for mostly legal reasons.

Thanks. I managed to sneak a quick google on work computer today about expiration of meds in general, not this specific one. I'll pop one out soon to see if it's chalky or falling apart or smelly or whatever else they said. So I guess I'm giving up on the meto option. But the Prochlorperazine maleate was prescribed to me years ago for seasickness by the same doctor that prescribes my quetiapine. I'd been on it for years before I started this doc, they just continued to prescribe it & has gotten me to reduce my dose gradually for years. This doc is the real deal, the best I've ever met, actually saved my life when I had a thyroid storm. They told me how they diagnosed so quickly & how it would've been missed at a walk in clinic & probs at a hospital & I've asked every doc since, even ones in my personal life & they've all confirmed, without a doubt, if I'd presented to them, they would've missed it & that I would have likely died the next morning. All of them happy to admit it. So I guess I wonder why my doc would've prescribed the Prochlorperazine maleate in the first place when they're not a crappy prescription happy doc??? But haven't had any privacy to google…

 

[Relic]

But the Prochlorperazine maleate was prescribed to me years ago for seasickness by the same doctor that prescribes my quetiapine.

These both increase the risk of neuroleptic malignant syndrome and extrapyramidal symptoms, something no-one wants to experience. There is a bit less risk if not taken at the same time, but it's still there. I'm prescribed meds that explicitly exclude each other, I'll just have to navigate and count the hours between them. Prochlorperazine and quetiapine are both dopamine D2 receptor antagonists. It has been claimed, that

Quetiapine has recently been introduced as a clozapine-derived antipsychotic drug that does not induce agranulocytosis and extrapyramidal symptoms

But there have been studies that claim the opposite. See the attachment.

As they work on the same receptor, the combined effects can be unpredictable.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

These both increase the risk of neuroleptic malignant syndrome and extrapyramidal symptoms, something no-one wants to experience. There is a bit less risk if not taken at the same time, but it's still there. I'm prescribed meds that explicitly exclude each other, I'll just have to navigate and count the hours between them. Prochlorperazine and quetiapine are both dopamine D2 receptor antagonists. It has been claimed, that


But there have been studies that claim the opposite. See the attachment.

As they work on the same receptor, the combined effects can be unpredictable.

Thanks
I can't open attachments though, my ex still has access to some of my iPhone stuff, as proven again yesterday… I use a VPN to go on here in private pages & have a secret email account. But as for the rest of it, I don't know what he can see. Even though I changed my Apple ID etc, he had secretly set it up so he could read both my regular email accounts - I had a hunch, but yesterday proof that he'd reattached himself to my gmail - I confronted him, it didn't go well. I'm going to have to accept he can see everything I do or go see an Apple genius about keystroke logging & all the stuff someone on SaSu told me about…. I don't know for sure if he can even see this but is happy about it - at this point, absolutely nothing surprises me, just saddens & disgusts me. But back to the meds, I'm going to read what I can today & tomorrow if I get the privacy & then write up a plan to post on here to see if anyone can see holes or can see obvious drug interactions & just general stuff I don't know because I just don't have the privacy to research l, it's not laziness. And it's hard with the drug interaction checkers, I only need to see how it will affect me over the course of the CTB process, (hopefully only a matter of hours or less, to when I'm unconscious) rather than if I planned on living & taking long term - so I guess anything that'd cause seizures or vomiting or counteract the effect of SN or cause pain immediately…. I dunno. There's so much to learn here. If I was living alone & had a desktop I could use, I would have the most detailed research in history. But an iPhone, a live in abusive, snooping ex & zero private time is just fucking this up so badly. It goes against my nature to ask for help, to not put in the hard yards myself, to take shortcuts, to be lazy & it actually really hurts to have to be that person at the hopefully end of my life. But I have to live in the circumstances I'm in, not the ones I want & so it is what it is. I feel like such an arsehole for asking questions that have answers right there on the internet - I feel stupid & useless & needy & desperate & I worry about the perception of laziness, all of it. And that's not helping. But I'm scared & I need help so here we are. All advice gratefully received. I literally don't know what all the icons on here do, on this box, at the top of SaSu, any of it & I'm too scared to touch any links - I haven't hit any of the spoiler buttons, any attachments, any links - EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO OR NEED TO - I just don't know what goes to the cloud, what goes to downloads or files or provides a trail he can see & after yesterdays proof I know he's still in my digital stuff & I'm terrified of how he'd use that information against me. I'm so so relieved I set up a private email for SN….

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Have taken a trial run of expired AE.
Pill looked completely fine.
No reaction as yet - it's been over an hour. I'm "hoping" that means no problematic interactions rather than that the pills are dead….