Ok about to buy a flight to San francisco

[Tintypographer]

Looking at flights and committing to buying a bus (plane) ticket. I'm going to go first class. If anyone is in SFO and wants a to wave goodbye i'll post on here just before I walk into the bridge and leave my phone on the ground. It'll be in the next week or so. I'll post what I'm wearing here and walk up, not loiter, hop the rail and stand on the chord and step off leaning to hit flat without any hesitation. I don't want to talk to anyone there or pause at all.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Hey. Are you sure some part of you doesn't still believe it can get better? or want help?

Because what you post here is just decreasing your chances of succeeding; who knows, one of the guests might be pro life and report you to the authorities.

 

[C_F]

That specific bridge is not a guaranteed death. You might end up waking up paralyzed in the hospital. I'd rethink this.

 

[Tintypographer]

I don't want help but thank you! I've thought about this a lot, watched hundreds of videos of people jumping from that bridge. The key is to land as flat as possible and hit with your body first so that your neck and head slam next. I envy and think this guy with long hair who jumped was cool and I halfway hope someone will see me finally making a choice I can control in life the way he did in the video. I feel good and strong about this!

 

[NefariousWish]

Grand Canyon is number 1

 

[attell2]

Consider that the number of bridge jump survivors implies that many more people probably almost made it.

Also, msg me if you want to talk

 

[a.n.kirillov]

And almost making it probably means drowning with broken limbs and in a world of pain.

 

[Notabadguy]

Why not SN?

 

[Soul]

If I were a jumper I'd definitely look for a less popular site. I hope you'll reconsider, @Tintypographer, but I wish you the best outcome, whatever you decide.

 

[Tintypographer]

Thanks all! I have made my decision on this bus. I don't need to be 100 percent sure as I feel relatively certain that with appearing to be a normal tourist, stepping on the railing and jumping quickly with careful pacing, ensuring no one is around and jumping to land flat so that my back hurts with maximum surface area and head snaps into the water shortly after with momentum built up will cause both the severe internal damage and secondary unconsciousness / instant concussion that I'll die very quickly. I have a PhD in chemistry (literally) and though I can calculate the mg/kg and even get any poison I want, I know my own psyche and I'm far more determined to jump and not be able to claw back to the bridge that to start taking a drug or poison and then try to somehow save myself. I just know me.

I bought my bus (plane) ticket! I can't tell you how empowered and totally strong this makes me feel. It's secret, I don't have to worry about being berated afterwards, I won't have to argue with anyone or get out down and beat up. I can take this action and every consequence is mine and I can't be torn to shreds of a human afterwards. In these moments of this trip I actually won't have to feel afraid of being screamed at or berated and that fills me with the most profound joy!

 

[Walilamdzi]

Thanks all! I have made my decision on this bus. I don't need to be 100 percent sure as I feel relatively certain that with appearing to be a normal tourist, stepping on the railing and jumping quickly with careful pacing, ensuring no one is around and jumping to land flat so that my back hurts with maximum surface area and head snaps into the water shortly after with momentum built up will cause both the severe internal damage and secondary unconsciousness / instant concussion that I'll die very quickly. I have a PhD in chemistry (literally) and though I can calculate the mg/kg and even get any poison I want, I know my own psyche and I'm far more determined to jump and not be able to claw back to the bridge that to start taking a drug or poison and then try to somehow save myself. I just know me.

I bought my bus (plane) ticket! I can't tell you how empowered and totally strong this makes me feel. It's secret, I don't have to worry about being berated afterwards, I won't have to argue with anyone or get out down and beat up. I can take this action and every consequence is mine and I can't be torn to shreds of a human afterwards. In these moments of this trip I actually won't have to feel afraid of being screamed at or berated and that fills me with the most profound joy!

Did you get a return ticket in case or just one there?

 

[Tintypographer]

Did you get a return ticket in case or just one there?

One way!!!!

 

[C_F]

@Tintypographer

When are you going? SF is still on lockdown at least another month. It's a ghost town especially in tourist areas right now. You mentioned that you'll "look like a tourist". Just wanted to give you a heads up on that. Also know that the bridge is patrolled for people appearing suicidal.

I'm sorry it's come to this for you. The bridge isn't going anywhere, so there's no rush on this incase you have moments of reconsideration.

I wish you the best!

 

[KleinerWolf]

I used to have this idea of jumping off that bridge.
I thought they put up a prevention net or something?

 

[attell2]

Looks like it: https://www.marinij.com/2019/02/17/golden-gate-bridge-suicide-barrier-starting-to-take-shape/

Edit: Reading more, it doesn't look like it's completed yet though. It's made of steel cable netting, mounted 20 feet beneath the bridge... that wouldn't be a comfortable landing

 

[C_F]

I used to have this idea of jumping off that bridge.
I thought they put up a prevention net or something?

Yeah, but this keeps getting pushed back and won't be completed earliest until next year. And even then, all you do is jump down 20 feet down onto the "barrier" then another jump into the water. It's merely a deterrent.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Yeah, but this keeps getting pushed back and won't be completed earliest until next year. And even then, all you do is jump down 20 feet down onto the "barrier" then another jump into the water. It's merely a deterrent.

I see.
Rather pointless barrier I guess.

Realistically speaking I am afraid of heights, it might not suit me lmao.
I actually believe other methods are just as effective.
Jumping never on top of my list.

 

[Alec]

But I wish so bad I could jump from that bridge too. Golden Gate is one of my favorite places in the world. But I can't get there, I don't even live in the US, unfortunately, so... I wish I could just teleport there, you know?

 

[cloudgazer25]

Whatever happens, I hope you find peace. My method is bridge too though not the infamous one.

 

[KleinerWolf]

One way!!!!

We are here for you whether or not you change your mind.

But I wish so bad I could jump from that bridge too. Golden Gate is one of my favorite places in the world. But I can't get there, I don't even live in the US, unfortunately, so... I wish I could just teleport there, you know?

Relatable.



I prefer pistols
but dont have access so it's besides the point.

A method is a method I guess.
Doesn't matter specifically which one.

 

[Ripmyveinsout]

I'm in SF, I'd like to think I'd come jump with you given the opportunity but I'm not ready. The earliest I can kill myself is the end of this month. As a fellow stem major I understand why you've planned this out well. As a fellow human being I understand that life is unfair and painful experiences lead to mental anguish. As a fellow suicidal person I can sympathize with life pushing you to this point and the feeling of control finally seeing an end to the doubt and worry. I regret not being able to either help you or join you.

 

[Alec]

We are here for you whether or not you change your mind.





Relatable.



I prefer pistols
but dont have access so it's besides the point.

A method is a method I guess.
Doesn't matter specifically which one.

I don't own any firearms, so I can't go with that method as well. But honestly, I never really thought about guns method because, well I guess maybe it's not my thing. I don't know. But I see the appeal, I definitely do.
Personally I don't even have places around to jump from. I'm gonna have to go with SN, already have it, and antiemetics. I was thinking of having a hotel room for the night, but now I'm thinking maybe I can go to the light house. I live in a beach town and there's a light house close by, and it's so pretty there, it's surrounded by rocks and there's open sea and I can feel a little more free there. But there are other people sometimes there. I once saw people bring sleeping bags there to spend a night, and it's really a small and kind of open space so I can't really hide there. But maybe I'll check one of these days and maybe I'll be lucky and there won't be people around, and maybe I'll get lucky and I'll be alone for long enough there, maybe 2 hours? I'm not sure how long it takes for SN to be final, 45 minutes?

 

[KleinerWolf]

I don't own any firearms, so I can't go with that method as well. But honestly, I never really thought about guns method because, well I guess maybe it's not my thing. I don't know. But I see the appeal, I definitely do.
Personally I don't even have places around to jump from. I'm gonna have to go with SN, already have it, and antiemetics. I was thinking of having a hotel room for the night, but now I'm thinking maybe I can go to the light house. I live in a beach town and there's a light house close by, and it's so pretty there, it's surrounded by rocks and there's open sea and I can feel a little more free there. But there are other people sometimes there. I once saw people bring sleeping bags there to spend a night, and it's really a small and kind of open space so I can't really hide there. But maybe I'll check one of these days and maybe I'll be lucky and there won't be people around, and maybe I'll get lucky and I'll be alone for long enough there, maybe 2 hours? I'm not sure how long it takes for SN to be final, 45 minutes?

I don't recommend ctb for anyone nor myself.
It is after all, the end of our stories, but Im aware things may not have been what we expected.
I'd like to think there's tiny glimpse of hope somewhere if we try really hard to hang onto it.
I'm suicidal but I believe it's a nice strategy to take things one day at a time.

Where you live , the lighthouse and the beach all sounds so cozy and romantic :)
I reckon it'd be a romantic spot for a date if you are to come across your soulmate oneday.
Hypothetically speaking of course, if you dig that idea.

For now, it's nice to know we have backup plans and that's rather therapeutic and comforting.

 

[Alec]

I don't recommend ctb for anyone nor myself.
It is after all, the end of our stories, but Im aware things may not have been what we expected.
I'd like to think there's tiny glimpse of hope somewhere if we try really hard to hang onto it.
I'm suicidal but I believe it's a nice strategy to take things one day at a time.

Where you live , the lighthouse and the beach all sounds so cozy and romantic :)
I reckon it'd be a romantic spot for a date if you are to come across your soulmate oneday.
Hypothetically speaking of course, if you dig that idea.

For now, it's nice to know we have backup plans and that's rather therapeutic and comforting.

That's how it worked for me, for years. It has always been a back up plan, just to make me braver to face the day. To say hello to strangers. To force a smile, or not to care when I can't smile and afraid someone will find it weird. It's been such a comfort, kind of like a pillow I can hug whenever things get too much.
And honestly I think I just made it sound romantic, the place where I live. It's really not. It's a tourist town, so it's always full of people. I don't like people. It's always crowded and I always hate being outside because I feel self conscious. But it partly is romantic. Because the sea is beautiful. And I wish I could feel truly free.
But the path to the lighthouse is always filled with people, taking walks or jogging. And the beaches aren't lonely. And the fear takes away the pleasure from everything.
Sometimes I think maybe I need a reset button. And in those moments I really hope there's some sort of afterlife that includes reincarnation. Maybe another go, another home, another family, would make a different everything. I hope so, and sometimes, even against logic, I just like to blindly believe that it would make a difference. I like to think there is this other version of me, possible, somewhere in the universe. Some other way for things to play out. But I don't think I can live in my daydreams.

Love,
—Alec.

 

[KleinerWolf]

That's how it worked for me, for years. It has always been a back up plan, just to make me braver to face the day. To say hello to strangers. To force a smile, or not to care when I can't smile and afraid someone will find it weird. It's been such a comfort, kind of like a pillow I can hug whenever things get too much.
And honestly I think I just made it sound romantic, the place where I live. It's really not. It's a tourist town, so it's always full of people. I don't like people. It's always crowded and I always hate being outside because I feel self conscious. But it partly is romantic. Because the sea is beautiful. And I wish I could feel truly free.
But the path to the lighthouse is always filled with people, taking walks or jogging. And the beaches aren't lonely. And the fear takes away the pleasure from everything.
Sometimes I think maybe I need a reset button. And in those moments I really hope there's some sort of afterlife that includes reincarnation. Maybe another go, another home, another family, would make a different everything. I hope so, and sometimes, even against logic, I just like to blindly believe that it would make a difference. I like to think there is this other version of me, possible, somewhere in the universe. Some other way for things to play out. But I don't think I can live in my daydreams.

Love,
—Alec.

Yup, I also dig alternate universe,
Everything is perfect you know?

But that's okay.
We'll take it slow this less-pleasant version.
We will see what we can do.

*Sending hugs your way*

 

[C_F]

I don't recommend ctb for anyone nor myself.
It is after all, the end of our stories, but Im aware things may not have been what we expected.
I'd like to think there's tiny glimpse of hope somewhere if we try really hard to hang onto it.
I'm suicidal but I believe it's a nice strategy to take things one day at a time.

Where you live , the lighthouse and the beach all sounds so cozy and romantic :)
I reckon it'd be a romantic spot for a date if you are to come across your soulmate oneday.
Hypothetically speaking of course, if you dig that idea.

For now, it's nice to know we have backup plans and that's rather therapeutic and comforting.

Hey, I'd be optimistic if my country eliminated COVID-19 too ;) jk, but no really. Go NZ!

Thanks for your positivity! I used to feel that way.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Hey, I'd be optimistic if my country eliminated COVID-19 too ;) jk, but no really. Go NZ!

Thanks for your positivity! I used to feel that way.

COVID19 the death toll, infection, quarantine was one thing.
There's also the impact on global economy will likely puts a severe toll on the job markets afterwards
since small business operating under non-essential industries will go under
Job loss is inevitable.

I'm not exactly hopeful of the industry I work in but yeah pretty screwed.
Looking to see how bad it is once the quarantine gets lifted. lol

Oh well.

 

[Alec]

Yup, I also dig alternate universe,
Everything is perfect you know?

But that's okay.
We'll take it slow this less-pleasant version.
We will see what we can do.

*Sending hugs your way*

Little by little, one step at a time. Until I can't lift my legs anymore. Or don't want to? Or it becomes truly pointless.
You've been a nice conversationist to me today. Thank you I appreciate you, and your hugs!

Love,
—Alec.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Little by little, one step at a time. Until I can't lift my legs anymore. Or don't want to? Or it becomes truly pointless.
You've been a nice conversationist to me today. Thank you❤ I appreciate you, and your hugs!

Love,
—Alec.

Yup, we'll certainly know about it if things come to it;

No worries hey. Nice exchanging ideas with you. Helps keeping myself positive as well.


Take it easy :)

 

[Tintypographer]

Thanks Alec

Even if you're not ready and it doesn't work out I'll shoot a thumbs up in your compass direction and will send a science coded time on here in case you happen to be out on a stroll and want to see.

S

Sometimes I think maybe I need a reset button. And in those moments I really hope there's some sort of afterlife that includes reincarnation. Maybe another go, another home, another family, would make a different everything. I hope so, and sometimes, even against logic, I just like to blindly believe that it would make a difference. I like to think there is this other version of me, possible, somewhere in the universe. Some other way for things to play out. But I don't think I can live in my daydreams.

I like to think that whatever the post death is, there won't be either the concern about disappointing others or people trying to convince me to do things or be someone. I hope those two pressures are gone and that's what I want to disappear.