I can't do this anymore I'm so tiered of being alone I want the pain to go away I want someone to be there someone to talk to I have nothing I hate this I want death.please put me out I hate stupid pro lifers my life is shit I need out.
I'm so tired of crying and yes I misspelled tired I'm stupid and been in and out of school
Pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls plsplspls i want to die
Pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls plsplspls i want to die
I am so sorry that you're experiencing all of that, friend. I do not not know what you're going through, and even if I did I doubt I would ease the agony of feeling alone. I think that desire is one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced, so little is said about how tormenting the want for something (companionship, belonging) is.
In my endless attempts to derive a meaning on this pale, empty sphere, I sort to "put" myself out there. That's what the able said(as if I was hiding in my dungeon for the entire course of my existence), and I put myself out there to the extreme. It feels like a humiliation ritual, this seemingly feeble attempt at human connection.
And so I walked around, having accepted I am a lesser man, having accepted my desperation, and targeted people who set alone (thinking—no, coping—that they would be like me), in hopes that they would somehow be glad that someone came to sit with them, have a conversation. Most of the encounters were fun, we spoke about politics, physics, philosophy, morality, law, evolution, metaphysics, life, school. One girl said she appreciated my coming to her, that it took her out of her comfort zone and allowed her to connect with a stranger. Some encounters were agonising, other parties being on their phones, some showing disinterest, in those encounters, I'd back away, appreciating the chance. There's nothing wrong with the rejectors, sometimes we are the rejectors(I doubt I consciously am).
So are you a lesser man like me? Are you willing to attempt to cure the emptiness with some action?
It is difficult, and for me it hasn't really worked, but at least I get to make myself feel better with, "Atleast I tried."
