Hi community
Feels great to post again here.
So recently i have been doing some reaserches added up to what was been diagnosed in the past.
I did some reaserches online to confirm my symptoms using legit medical online ressources, msd manual basically.
So anyways and according to the informations i had, i have come to a conslusion that borderline disorder has fucked my life over the past 5 years.
It all make sense now, the mood swings, the paranoia, and the anger related to relationships with others caused by attachment issues and the fair of being abandoned.
I usually dont take what people say with a grant of salt, and having a temper that can go op quickly doesn't make it the first affirmation looks accurate, and so i'm easily pissed off even though i keep a low voice but you can tell from my face expression.
Now to the venting part :
Literally all the people i know irl doesn't understand shit about this whole situation and it pisses me off even more.
I have talked so many times to some of them about how is it like to be mentally sick and i get the classic response "maybe you need to see a doctor", "there's always ups and downs"
I tend to avoid talking about suicide as its the only way i think it's viable to put an end to this misery that i'm fighting daily.
Borderline personality disorder is not a joke and its very serious and complex mental condition, i often get mad at the people surrounding me for saying stupid shit i don't wanna hear, i feel like a stranger to think that death is the only door to eternal peace out of this non stop miserable loner life.
But tell you what whenever a challenge comes there's the courage that comes with it, and yes CTB is a quick solution for eternal peace but still think it's not time yet to ctb.
Stay safe y'all.
Feels great to post again here.
So recently i have been doing some reaserches added up to what was been diagnosed in the past.
I did some reaserches online to confirm my symptoms using legit medical online ressources, msd manual basically.
So anyways and according to the informations i had, i have come to a conslusion that borderline disorder has fucked my life over the past 5 years.
It all make sense now, the mood swings, the paranoia, and the anger related to relationships with others caused by attachment issues and the fair of being abandoned.
I usually dont take what people say with a grant of salt, and having a temper that can go op quickly doesn't make it the first affirmation looks accurate, and so i'm easily pissed off even though i keep a low voice but you can tell from my face expression.
Now to the venting part :
Literally all the people i know irl doesn't understand shit about this whole situation and it pisses me off even more.
I have talked so many times to some of them about how is it like to be mentally sick and i get the classic response "maybe you need to see a doctor", "there's always ups and downs"
I tend to avoid talking about suicide as its the only way i think it's viable to put an end to this misery that i'm fighting daily.
Borderline personality disorder is not a joke and its very serious and complex mental condition, i often get mad at the people surrounding me for saying stupid shit i don't wanna hear, i feel like a stranger to think that death is the only door to eternal peace out of this non stop miserable loner life.
But tell you what whenever a challenge comes there's the courage that comes with it, and yes CTB is a quick solution for eternal peace but still think it's not time yet to ctb.
Stay safe y'all.
