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coolliontigerragged

New Member
Nov 28, 2025
4
I am planning out how I CTB. Everything is just genuinely terrible. In a "happy" relationship I find out my partner has lied to me and snuck out just cause he thinks it would make me happier even though I have told him numerous times he can do what he wants. My partner hasnt loved me like he once did, my parents dont give a shit, I dont have friends besides maybe one or two, and as a mused major the community of band I am in just wants me to quit and transfer after having a surgery and missing rehearsals even though I couldnt control it. No one in the entire school of music even believes me when I have doctors notes, photo evidence, and assistance from student life. So school doesnt care, friends(if you could even call them that, moreso acquaintances) dont care and/or dont exist, and the one person really holding me down has built a relationship with me with lies. I even wanted to marry him and have kids with him. I thought my future could be better. I thought I didnt have to die alone.

I dont care about anything anymore. I havent been to many classes in a week. I have been on medication for the past year ish.. here is the cocktail of meds in my pantry I currently have access to:
Trazodone, 50 mg
Buspirone, 5 mg
Desvenlafaxine, 50 mg and 25 mg
Atomoxetine, 25 mg
Bupropion XL, 300 mg
Quetiapine, 25 mg and 50 mg
Methylphenidate, 18 mg
Fluoxetine, 20 mg
Ambien, 5 mg
Cyclonenzaprine, 10 mg

What should I mix and match and how much of each should I mix and match to CTB as if I was falling asleep and never waking up from a dream. I'm tired of it all.

I am also open to taking the CTB cocktail we come up with with Absinthe, unless that would lessen the effects. Thank you for being on this journey of choice with me.
 
JadedBeing

JadedBeing

Hey, I'm using SanctionedSuicide
Sep 17, 2025
198
I am planning out how I CTB. Everything is just genuinely terrible. In a "happy" relationship I find out my partner has lied to me and snuck out just cause he thinks it would make me happier even though I have told him numerous times he can do what he wants. My partner hasnt loved me like he once did, my parents dont give a shit, I dont have friends besides maybe one or two, and as a mused major the community of band I am in just wants me to quit and transfer after having a surgery and missing rehearsals even though I couldnt control it. No one in the entire school of music even believes me when I have doctors notes, photo evidence, and assistance from student life. So school doesnt care, friends(if you could even call them that, moreso acquaintances) dont care and/or dont exist, and the one person really holding me down has built a relationship with me with lies. I even wanted to marry him and have kids with him. I thought my future could be better. I thought I didnt have to die alone.

I dont care about anything anymore. I havent been to many classes in a week. I have been on medication for the past year ish.. here is the cocktail of meds in my pantry I currently have access to:
Trazodone, 50 mg
Buspirone, 5 mg
Desvenlafaxine, 50 mg and 25 mg
Atomoxetine, 25 mg
Bupropion XL, 300 mg
Quetiapine, 25 mg and 50 mg
Methylphenidate, 18 mg
Fluoxetine, 20 mg
Ambien, 5 mg
Cyclonenzaprine, 10 mg

What should I mix and match and how much of each should I mix and match to CTB as if I was falling asleep and never waking up from a dream. I'm tired of it all.

I am also open to taking the CTB cocktail we come up with with Absinthe, unless that would lessen the effects. Thank you for being on this journey of choice with me.
If you don't have access to sttong opiods like fentanyl or Nitazenes, don't think about ODing. Everything else is a non-method.

I think you can Figure your stuff out with a little commitment. Ctbing over relationship stuff isnt worth it. I wish you overcome this and be active in your Band again. I wish i was in a Band. Sounds really cool.
 
Last edited:
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gunmetalblue

gunmetalblue

Suicidal Jesus
Oct 31, 2025
382

 
  • Informative
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Tautochrome

Tautochrome

Exploder
Nov 22, 2025
79
You could probably trigger a severe serotonin syndrome if you OD the serotonin reuptake inhibitors, but that's slow, unpleasant and unreliable, so... don't
 
  • Informative
Reactions: NearlyIrrelevantCake