AttachedSweets
New Member
- Apr 16, 2023
- 4
There's a possibility I may be more active on here because I feel like I will finally CTB this weekend. In my life, I believe I only have one purpose which is being dependant on the person I am completely obsessed with. I have BPD, and I've been around this one person for 5-6 years. I have revolved my schedule and my world around this person. I'm not in love nor do I want to have an official relationship with this person but I don't wish for them to be near anybody but me, I want them to only be with me, I'm selfish in that way.
Thankfully, I'm not a freak like I was before, I sometimes completely lose my mind but I don't go out of my way to hurt them, I just hurt myself if I lose my shit lol. I even admitted to them that I was obsessed with them for a time (I still am). They know me and the weird actions I have done before, but thankfully I am a changed person. (I still have some weird quirks but nothing major like a few years back).
Anyways, what happened a few days ago that made me want to make this post and officially have my final rest, is when they told me that they may live with their boyfriend. I have known of this boyfriend for awhile and I never liked him but I never showed my hatred for him until I realized what an abusive cuck this guy is but I digress. I somehow didn't go ballistic on myself but I just (I guess) calmly accepted it. I sorta kind of thought of it as like "My purpose is gone, might as well die".
This reason is so silly, I mean my life isn't horrible at the moment but I am exhausted, I still feel the way I felt when I made my first post. There's obviously more than what's seen on the surface but maybe that will be a future post if I get the motivation.
Thankfully, I'm not a freak like I was before, I sometimes completely lose my mind but I don't go out of my way to hurt them, I just hurt myself if I lose my shit lol. I even admitted to them that I was obsessed with them for a time (I still am). They know me and the weird actions I have done before, but thankfully I am a changed person. (I still have some weird quirks but nothing major like a few years back).
Anyways, what happened a few days ago that made me want to make this post and officially have my final rest, is when they told me that they may live with their boyfriend. I have known of this boyfriend for awhile and I never liked him but I never showed my hatred for him until I realized what an abusive cuck this guy is but I digress. I somehow didn't go ballistic on myself but I just (I guess) calmly accepted it. I sorta kind of thought of it as like "My purpose is gone, might as well die".
This reason is so silly, I mean my life isn't horrible at the moment but I am exhausted, I still feel the way I felt when I made my first post. There's obviously more than what's seen on the surface but maybe that will be a future post if I get the motivation.
