Nsfw , Is this a good reason to commit suicide?

[Superdeterminist]

I totally get the bulge thing. It's not a lack of a bulge, it's there being a certain kind of bulge that is incredibly telling about what's going on down there, and it's very easy to notice. It looks bad, and I definitely get your distress. And yeah, your condition really sucks. People will judge you for it which is just a horrible thing that you can't escape from. It's certainly a good reason to be unhappy and would inspire me to withdraw even more from the world than I already am. There may be ways to conceal it, which sadly doesn't fix the issue, but it's the most that can apparently be done. I don't know how though.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

You literally said to him "Jesus help you, you retarded wank-stain!"

And yeah I am in no high horse here, I know perfectly well I am stooping down your level because it pisses me off seeing pieces of shit pretending they want to help and turning to insults as quickly as the person they are "helping" doesn't bow down like you just shared God's word with them. you can also report me if you want, I regret jack shit of what I said. I take 0 issue with being an asshole to someone who comes to bully and insult others and invalidate their suffering. People like you with 0 regard for other's feelings can go fuck themselves and I'll gladly be a piece of shit to them too.

I didn't tell him to fucking kill himself! I tried to tell him to stop obsessing about his penis! And you're a retarded wank-stain if you're using the term Currycel! That is a childishly retarded thing to do. You implied I should die! Not that I care what you think or anything; I can't imagine many people do, but just saying, you stepped over the 'forum rules' line WAY more than I did!

 

[RandomBeaver]

I think this conversation is becoming pretty stressful.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I think this conversation is becoming pretty stressful.

I think you're right. I need a Xanax. I'm out of this thread...

 

[freedompass]

Basically as my username suggests , I have a Micropenis.

It affects 0.6 % of Males.

I had to be one of them.

Its a sexual and social disability.

I dont wana live with this.

I will never be desired or have normal sex.

Most men with micro are only boxed in the roles of submissive and humiliation which i really hate.

I just wana be normal .

I dont even have a bulge, sometimes it just sticks out because it sits on my testicles.... its so embarrasing when i go out in public i notice people give my groin area strange looks.

I feel emasculated , il never be desired or keep a relationship.

It was so bad i thought of doing a sex change ( before they use to do this with kids with my condition).

At least id have something to offer women (breasts and a neo vagina)

But idk i dont know its just sickening .

Why me, so much problems already in life then add a micropenis?

this has to be punishment for a passed life.

this affects my life in so many ways , it may seem insignificant but if youd be in my shoes youd understand.

if i did have a normal penis id just drown my sorrows with women, love and sex just to cope.

but now i cant even do that.

so whats the use as a man and why should i live.

No friends, No family besides my dad who care , no job or skills, balding , barely average looks , suffer rejection , suffer humiliation , cant go in public, cant have casual sex or a meaningful relationship etc.

This video shows the bulge problem and exlpains it more , imagine living with this but even more odd looking :

I watched the video, I feel like I learned something today. I never even knew this was a thing. I've heard men talk about having a micro penis but just thought they meant 'on the small side' or something. And I also never considered how this must affect a man's confidence, sense of masculinity, sex life, social life and so on. Never considered that a man would only do certain types of jobs because of it, like the guy in the video. I think he may have been traumatically bullied in the past to make him so self conscious.

I mean honestly not all of us go around eyeballing guys' crotches. I doubt I'd notice like ever unless he got naked haha. But I don't wanna seem to trivialise this because it probably gets annoying as all hell for you getting 'advice', supposedly 'comforting' remarks from people who can never truly empathise.

Punishment for a past life? I honestly don't believe in that. What often helps me is contemplating the lives and troubles of people in some much worse situations like being paralysed and unable to do anything for yourself. Even ctb! I just find it does help me find some gratitude for what I do have. More to the point, all the shitty things I've been spared!

My heart goes out to you, thanks for sharing, I feel I gained a useful insight from your post and wish you the very best.

 

[Cryptonite]

Basically as my username suggests , I have a Micropenis.

It affects 0.6 % of Males.

I had to be one of them.

Its a sexual and social disability.

I dont wana live with this.

I will never be desired or have normal sex.

Most men with micro are only boxed in the roles of submissive and humiliation which i really hate.

I just wana be normal .

I dont even have a bulge, sometimes it just sticks out because it sits on my testicles.... its so embarrasing when i go out in public i notice people give my groin area strange looks.

I feel emasculated , il never be desired or keep a relationship.

It was so bad i thought of doing a sex change ( before they use to do this with kids with my condition).

At least id have something to offer women (breasts and a neo vagina)

But idk i dont know its just sickening .

Why me, so much problems already in life then add a micropenis?

this has to be punishment for a passed life.

this affects my life in so many ways , it may seem insignificant but if youd be in my shoes youd understand.

if i did have a normal penis id just drown my sorrows with women, love and sex just to cope.

but now i cant even do that.

so whats the use as a man and why should i live.

No friends, No family besides my dad who care , no job or skills, balding , barely average looks , suffer rejection , suffer humiliation , cant go in public, cant have casual sex or a meaningful relationship etc.

This video shows the bulge problem and exlpains it more , imagine living with this but even more odd looking :

I think it is a perfectly valid reason for CTB. Although I don't think people tend to look at other people's bulges.

I'm wondering, there is no surgery available to do something about it? Google says there is

 

[RandomBeaver]

@MicropBaldCurrycel
Researching about your condition, I'm even wondering if I don't qualify as such.

One thing you didn't talk about was urination. Is it a problem for you?

 

[Niko66]

Anyways, sorry for getting so riled up and talking over your thread OP.

Misery is all relative, feelings are relative, I think that's the crux of having a choice. No one but you know your own suffering and so it is at least my belief everyone should have the right to have that choice without having to justify it to anyone else, if something is so painful that you cannot bear it then that is your experience and then your choice is valid, you are the only person who truly has a say on whether or not your condition is enough of a reason. I can personally imagine a bit how much your condition would hurt your self esteem and image and how it brings you to this dark place mentally in your life.

I do also think there's much more to intimacy than penis size with the right person, even if it might be really difficult to find that someone understanding but even if you are at a disadvantage by default, in that sense I think there is a little bit of hope and I remember your other thread talking about some of your other issues and I think maybe if you could find yourself under better circumstances (for example if you manage to get some programming studies like you wanted and find work) then maybe the pain you are suffering could become more bearable.

I was once in a long distance relationship with a girl with a condition called vaginismus (basically she cannot have penetrative sex because it's very painful and uncomfortable) so to her my size was irrelevant, she did have sexual desires but sex would have taken different ways that don't even require a penis at all (we never met in person before we broke up, nonetheless point is there's all kinds of people), I have a friend who is demi/asexual and sex is a minimal part of a relationship to her, there's such cases. But I won't say it's easy or that you will find that someone, just that it's possible and there's a little bit of hope, even if I do find it perfectly understandable how it has brought on you thoughts of suicide.

You deserve your choice, people can try to invalidate your suffering but no one can experience it for you to know what it's like and so no one's opinion truly matters but your own when it comes to this decision. No one should be forced to endure torture and suffering against their will.

 

[Al Cappella]

I can totally understand that this is an extremely painful condition for you. As for whether it's a good reason to leave the ship—you're the only one who can answer that, unfortunately. But, having said that, any reason is good enough and doesn't really need external validation…

 

[SentencedToLife]

It doesn't matter what anyone else's perception of "reality" is. What a joke. They have no right to treat you like that, and I'm very sorry you were attacked in a forum that is supposed to be a safe space.

It's easy for others to dismiss your pain; the words "it's in your head" should be banned from this site. Imo, that message is one of the worst things someone could hear, especially when they're opening up and expressing what they're dealing/struggling with. Those words could be ignorantly hurled at anyone no matter the circumstances, and I'm sure many on this forum (myself certainly included) have been hurt and offended by that very message in their own situations. You don't deserve that, and you have nothing to prove.

I'm sorry for all you have gone through and continue to go through. I can't specifically relate, but I understand pain and unhappiness and suffering, and I'm sorry you have to cope with those on a daily basis.

I wish you all the best.

 

[GentleJerk]

you're a retarded wank-stain if you're using the term Currycel

No he isn't. That's what he identifies as. Deal with it, my fwen.

Show a little compassion.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Although I don't think people tend to look at other people's bulges.

Watch it, expressing an opposing opinion can get you 'warned' by the moderators!

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm sorry for your circumstances. No one could or even should recommend you to CTB. It's even against the rules.
I would recommend not having your penis removed. You may not be any happier. And it's probably impossible to go back. I did actually google penis enlargement surgery and it's expensive, not to mention there could be negative effects long after. I don't know what it costs to have one removed.
I used to talk to a member here who did have the surgery and he wished he had not gone through with it because it was irreversible.

It's very unfair for anyone to make rude comments if they haven't been through the same circumstances..
I would think most guys would like to have a larger penis. I'm average but I still would. I also think that women DO look. I think there are other things they look for as well. Like a job, income, character...
Also, out of curiosity. (You don't have to answer) You would be dating women? It would have to be discussed early on. Some may not be ok with dating someone who has had that kind of surgery.

Anyway, just some thoughts. If I think of anything else, I will reply more.

Take care.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think it's probably a good enough reason if you really have no other way to make up for it. I'm in the exact same boat except I'm not Indian.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Calling people retarded wank stain isn't sharing opposing opinions its just being being absolute dick for no reason.
There is a reason I have had pain in the ass on ignore and now I know why. Almost every single person I have placed on ignore ends up showing their ass and just confirms my intuitive nudge to ignore them to begin with

I called him that for using the term currycel, which is a racist term that should be banned from the site, if anything is banned. Retarded wank stain doesn't even compare to currycel. Niko literally told me to kill myself up there, but no one seems to care about that! How do you do this ignore thing then for certain people? I need to ignore all the woke children and retarded wank stains promoting racist ideas about Indians living in the West, and people encouraging others to kill themselves on here, cus SS won't do fuck all about it!

 

[come to dust]

I called him that for using the term currycel, which is a racist term that should be banned from the site, if anything is banned. Retarded wank stain doesn't even compare to currycel. Niko literally told me to kill myself up there, but no one seems to care about that! How do you do this ignore thing then for certain people? I need to ignore all the woke children and retarded wank stains promoting racist ideas about Indians living in the West, and people encouraging others to kill themselves on here, cus SS won't do fuck all about it!

If you really cared about racism against indians, you'd instead be critical of how mass media and western society portrays indians as invisible, unappealing or undateable. But you don't care about Indians, you're just lashing out.

 

[Al Cappella]

I called him that for using the term currycel, which is a racist term that should be banned from the site, if anything is banned. Retarded wank stain doesn't even compare to currycel. Niko literally told me to kill myself up there, but no one seems to care about that! How do you do this ignore thing then for certain people? I need to ignore all the woke children and retarded wank stains promoting racist ideas about Indians living in the West, and people encouraging others to kill themselves on here, cus SS won't do fuck all about it!

Dude, you're not the victim here. And for what it's worth, if someone belonging to a certain ethnic group calls themselves a racist term in relation to that group, then it's not in fact racist. Happens all the time. So this has nothing to do with being woke, it's about you being an insensitive jerk. Also for what it's worth, being told to go off yourself isn't right either.

 

[watchingthewheels]

deleted by author

 

[fillthevoid]

Hey. I wanted to give you a genuine reply from a female here who is attracted to men and give you my thoughts.

Personally I would be surprised and shocked if I found out the guy I was into has a micropenis. It is obviously rare and I wouldn't be expecting it. And yes, I'd be a little disappointed at first, because sex between partners who love each other can be wonderful and fulfilling, that feeling of being just the right size for each other and fitting like a jigsaw peice .. and I'm not sure how well that works in your case.

However. I can honestly tell you that if I truly liked a man, it would not put me off. We would work through it, I would support him, and we would find a way to find satisfaction for both of us. I would hate to know my man feels so low about himself about something like that. I would want to help empower him, make him feel masculine again of however it is he wants to be to feel happy and himself, and I would love the opportunity to be that support for him and it's likely we grow an even closer bond because of it in the long run.

I'm not saying all women are like me.. but if I exist, then others must too.... That's all.... We're not all that vain you know. Nobody is perfect. You can't help the vessel you're given when you're born, it's a totally lottery. We're all just slightly different oddly shaped chunks of flesh. There is no way I could possibly judge someone else when it could quite as easily have been me.

I used to have major hangups about my body, which, I realise now are pretty silly. But at the time, they felt very real to the point of having nightmares and daydreams about getting scissors and reshaping parts of my body. So I do have some sense of how that feels and I have a lot of compassion for your situation. Don't think everybody is horrible. Someone somewhere is out there who you can offer a lot to and have that fulfilling relationship with. :) Work on yourself, your job, your skills, your kindness etc.. maybe when you feel you have more to offer, you won't feel that your penis size is as significant. You need the confidence to know that you have more to offer than just that, that's all. A guy with the right type of confidence is very very attractive.
Also... I'd probably sneak a glance at a buldge if it stood out for any reason and my eye was drawn there. Like if he was wearing tight clothes or it was particularly big or noticeable for any reason. Otherwise, honestly I wouldn't even notice and I'd say that is 99.5% of the time. I do not seek out buldges to look at. Who has time for that. It would literally just be if it stood out. Same way I'd probably look at anything if it stood out. I'd definitely don't think I'd recognise why it looked like that though, I mean before you explained it anyway... Id probably just have thought it was something wierd with the clothing and then moved on and thought nothing of it.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Hey. I wanted to give you a genuine reply from a female here who is attracted to men and give you my thoughts.

Personally I would be surprised and shocked if I found out the guy I was into has a micropenis. It is obviously rare and I wouldn't be expecting it. And yes, I'd be a little disappointed at first, because sex between partners who love each other can be wonderful and fulfilling, that feeling of being just the right size for each other and fitting like a jigsaw peice .. and I'm not sure how well that works in your case.

However. I can honestly tell you that if I truly liked a man, it would not put me off. We would work through it, I would support him, and we would find a way to find satisfaction for both of us. I would hate to know my man feels so low about himself about something like that. I would want to help empower him, make him feel masculine again of however it is he wants to be to feel happy and himself, and I would love the opportunity to be that support for him and it's likely we grow an even closer bond because of it in the long run.

I'm not saying all women are like me.. but if I exist, then others must too.... That's all.... We're not all that vain you know. Nobody is perfect. You can't help the vessel you're given when you're born, it's a totally lottery. We're all just slightly different oddly shaped chunks of flesh. There is no way I could possibly judge someone else when it could quite as easily have been me.

I used to have major hangups about my body, which, I realise now are pretty silly. But at the time, they felt very real to the point of having nightmares and daydreams about getting scissors and reshaping parts of my body. So I do have some sense of how that feels and I have a lot of compassion for your situation. Don't think everybody is horrible. Someone somewhere is out there who you can offer a lot to and have that fulfilling relationship with. :) Work on yourself, your job, your skills, your kindness etc.. maybe when you feel you have more to offer, you won't feel that your penis size is as significant. You need the confidence to know that you have more to offer than just that, that's all. A guy with the right type of confidence is very very attractive.
Also... I'd probably sneak a glance at a buldge if it stood out for any reason and my eye was drawn there. Like if he was wearing tight clothes or it was particularly big or noticeable for any reason. Otherwise, honestly I wouldn't even notice and I'd say that is 99.5% of the time. I do not seek out buldges to look at. Who has time for that. It would literally just be if it stood out. Same way I'd probably look at anything if it stood out. I'd definitely don't think I'd recognise why it looked like that though, I mean before you explained it anyway... Id probably just have thought it was something wierd with the clothing and then moved on and thought nothing of it.

Watch it, you're opposing HIS reality, you'll get banned!

Dude, you're not the victim here. And for what it's worth, if someone belonging to a certain ethnic group calls themselves a racist term in relation to that group, then it's not in fact racist. Happens all the time. So this has nothing to do with being woke, it's about you being an insensitive jerk. Also for what it's worth, being told to go off yourself isn't right either.

I don't claim to be the victim. I'm saying there is a clear double standard, and that the poster is claiming things to be 'HIS REALITY', that are not his reality at all. Other people's intentions are THEIR REALITIES, not yours. He is claiming to know other people's intentions, and claiming that as his reality, which he has no right to claim. This site is woke joke and I don't give a fuck ban me now.

If you really cared about racism against indians, you'd instead be critical of how mass media and western society portrays indians as invisible, unappealing or undateable. But you don't care about Indians, you're just lashing out.

All I'm saying is breaking the rules is breaking the fucking rules - stop with the double standard just because we have a self-pitying, incel, woke joke, who's feelings need wrapping up in cotton wool.

 

[Shu]

Watch it, you're opposing HIS reality, you'll get banned!

I don't claim to be the victim. I'm saying there is a clear double standard, and that the poster is claiming things to be 'HIS REALITY', that are not his reality at all. Other people's intentions are THEIR REALITIES, not yours. He is claiming to know other people's intentions, and claiming that as his reality, which he has no right to claim. This site is woke joke and I don't give a fuck ban me now.

All I'm saying is breaking the rules is breaking the fucking rules - stop with the double standard just because we have a self-pitying, incel, woke joke, who's feelings need wrapping up in cotton wool.

Just because he uses a label to describe himself doesn't mean he is speaking for every one else. What are you even going on about and what are YOUR intentions behind it?

Just because he uses a label to describe himself doesn't mean he is speaking for every one else. What are you even going on about and what are YOUR intentions behind it?

Also where did the person above oppose anything? They aren't being insensitive, name calling, and a jerk for no reason?

Watch it, you're opposing HIS reality, you'll get banned!

I don't claim to be the victim. I'm saying there is a clear double standard, and that the poster is claiming things to be 'HIS REALITY', that are not his reality at all. Other people's intentions are THEIR REALITIES, not yours. He is claiming to know other people's intentions, and claiming that as his reality, which he has no right to claim. This site is woke joke and I don't give a fuck ban me now.

All I'm saying is breaking the rules is breaking the fucking rules - stop with the double standard just because we have a self-pitying, incel, woke joke, who's feelings need wrapping up in cotton wool.

What people say about others usually speaks a lot more about themselves.

 

[Niko66]

Watch it, you're opposing HIS reality, you'll get banned!

Funny how none of the other users with different perspectives are stirring any issues whatsoever as much as you want it happen to keep your little drama going to keep victimizing yourself here?
That's because the problem is not having a different opinion, the problem is going about it like an insensitive douchebag and imposing rather than expressing it.

And since you seem to be struggling with this concept:
Impose: "to force someone to accept something, especially a belief or way of living"

Emphasis on *forcing someone*. OP's belief of how he is perceived by others is just that. His belief, his perception, he isn't shoving it up anyone, he isn't going up women and telling them "HEY STOP CHECKING OUT MY BULGE I KNOW YOU ARE DOING THAT", he isn't imposing it on anyone, he's just asking for his personal experience to be respected. You are the one here going mental because OP doesn't immediately invalidate his own experiences to agree with you and insulting him for it.

 

[motel rooms]

What are you even going on about and what are YOUR intentions behind it?

He's furious because he's in a lot of undeserved pain & he's taking his rage out on a fellow suicidal person... Ain't that just the way life works?

 

[Pain In The Ass]

He's furious because he's in a lot of undeserved pain & he's taking his rage out on a fellow suicidal person... Ain't that just the way life works?

It's just a general intolerance of this new-age idea that your perception of others IS reality - no it isn't - it's just an idea conjured up by your brain - but maybe I forget that a lot of people on here are 'mentally ill', or have conditions I should just stay out of. I just suffer physical pain - I'm not mentally ill. And I was looking for trouble yesterday as I was in a shitty mood. I'll just ignore the 'Currycel', micro-penis, 'my perception of you is truer than the actual YOU', shit from now on then...

 

[Shu]

He's furious because he's in a lot of undeserved pain & he's taking his rage out on a fellow suicidal person... Ain't that just the way life works?

I understand.. thanks for having empathy.. I need to be more understanding..

 

[rationaltake]

We don't need to insult each other on here. It doesn't help anything. Just saying.

 

[nopride86]

Hi OP, I'm so sorry that you are struggling through this life with your condition. Your experience and your feelings are 100% valid. Lack of connection to other people, and the pain of feeling physically/socially condemned for something that you have zero control over, is excruciating.

You mentioned in the first post that this condition inhibits you from having a romantic relationship or finding love. I want you to know that love comes in a lot of forms. There are ace/aro relationships that many people find deep and enjoyable and it might be worth exploring. I am not here to tell you how to live your life though, and I hope you find peace however you choose.

 

[oziinnz]

@Pain In The Ass you have totally high jacked this post. @MicropBaldCurrycel I'm sorry your post has been overtaking by someone needing to argue their point at any lengths.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

@Pain In The Ass you have totally high jacked this post. @MicropBaldCurrycel I'm sorry your post has been overtaking by someone needing to argue their point at any lengths.

Jesus, when are the red thingys gonna end in relation to this thread. Just fuck off you whiney babies!!! I'm gettin more likes than negatives by the way!

 

[Al Cappella]

It's just a general intolerance of this new-age idea that your perception of others IS reality - no it isn't - it's just an idea conjured up by your brain - but maybe I forget that a lot of people on here are 'mentally ill', or have conditions I should just stay out of. I just suffer physical pain - I'm not mentally ill. And I was looking for trouble yesterday as I was in a shitty mood. I'll just ignore the 'Currycel', micro-penis, 'my perception of you is truer than the actual YOU', shit from now on then...

I think folks aren't saying you're wrong, they're saying your delivery sucks. Of course people who suffer from mood disorders tend to globalize, distort, catastrophize—it's part of the deal, and once mood has been chemically stabilized, that's what treatment goes after with things like CBT, and DBT.

It's also true that thought distortions can be annoying as fuck to folks on the outside looking in. But so what? Why vent your frustration? Surely to Christ you can appreciate it doesn't ever do any good? No one's going to have an epiphany because you barked at them, so why bother?