DSL SN is ordered. Now I just need to pray it arrives soon and doesn't get stopped by customs.
Is it weird that I'm incredibly excited for it to arrive? I'm so tired of all this.
This week was pretty horrible, and also just weird. Its bizarre to pretend you're okay at your work when you (hopefully) only have 30 or so shifts left.
I've decided on the hotel I'm going to do it at, and the best time to do it so it will go unnoticed. I'm really just waiting for the SN to arrive.
I've tried to overdose before so I know I can do it, but worry I would never be able to do something like jump in front of a train. Besides, that method is horrific for others and scarily likely to fail.
People tell me I'm too young to die, but at the same time insist I'm mature for my age. I think it is because I've been through some shit.
But honestly? I don't think ANYONE should have to live even a single day, let alone years, if they truly don't want to. It goes against every principle of consent to insist that people keep going because they might get better if they just suffer a lot longer.
Im done. Not because I've exhausted every option available to me, but because nothing has worked for 7 years and my life is a living hell.
I just hope the SN arrives soon so I can get it over with. I would have taken it 2 weeks ago if I could have.
Is it weird that I'm incredibly excited for it to arrive? I'm so tired of all this.
This week was pretty horrible, and also just weird. Its bizarre to pretend you're okay at your work when you (hopefully) only have 30 or so shifts left.
I've decided on the hotel I'm going to do it at, and the best time to do it so it will go unnoticed. I'm really just waiting for the SN to arrive.
I've tried to overdose before so I know I can do it, but worry I would never be able to do something like jump in front of a train. Besides, that method is horrific for others and scarily likely to fail.
People tell me I'm too young to die, but at the same time insist I'm mature for my age. I think it is because I've been through some shit.
But honestly? I don't think ANYONE should have to live even a single day, let alone years, if they truly don't want to. It goes against every principle of consent to insist that people keep going because they might get better if they just suffer a lot longer.
Im done. Not because I've exhausted every option available to me, but because nothing has worked for 7 years and my life is a living hell.
I just hope the SN arrives soon so I can get it over with. I would have taken it 2 weeks ago if I could have.
