Venting Nothing to live for

[AnonymousL]

My psychologist explained to me that to give purpose to our lives we need to find things that make it worth living.

Things we enjoy doing.

For some it could be simple things for others it could be bigger ones just like a vacation far away.

But what do you do when all the things you enjoyed in the past, are not fun anymore?
When you don't enjoy doing them anymore?
When everything feels heavy and like a huge chore instead of something you like.

I can read a book, I can solve a puzzle, I can game on my pc for hours.

But it's not the same anymore. It doesn't make life worth to live for.

Why don't you just let me die peacefully if I don't have anything that makes life worth the pain and the misery?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, to me existing really is so undesirable and I find it beyond cruel how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option with people expected to suffer pointlessly until they die anyway even know it's all meaningless. Allowing people the option to die peacefully would be very compassionate and relieving, I find it hellish how we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace, not everyone wants to exist or sees value in prolonging unnecessary suffering.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I never enjoyed anything to begin with. I never will

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I'm having the same problem…. The more I'm alive the more I don't want to be anymore….
But what did the doctor say when you told them that you haven't been enjoying anything??

 

[AnonymousL]

I'm having the same problem…. The more I'm alive the more I don't want to be anymore….
But what did the doctor say when you told them that you haven't been enjoying anything??

They said it's important to keep trying.
To purposefully do something instead of doing it because I wanna stop thinking.

So most of the times I wake up and go game for hours on my pc because it gives me a break from reality.

But instead I should CHOOSE to go play a game now. Or to read a book. To go for a walk. Anything. Even if it's small.

Gaming will still be my escape from reality but then I chose to go and game instead of brain dead doing it.

English is not my first language but I tried to explain. If u don't understand what I mean I can try to explain it better.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

They said it's important to keep trying.
To purposefully do something instead of doing it because I wanna stop thinking.

So most of the times I wake up and go game for hours on my pc because it gives me a break from reality.

But instead I should CHOOSE to go play a game now. Or to read a book. To go for a walk. Anything. Even if it's small.

Gaming will still be my escape from reality but then I chose to go and game instead of brain dead doing it.

English is not my first language but I tried to explain. If u don't understand what I mean I can try to explain it better.

Well there's this belief that you can't wait for motivation to magically appear… that you need to keep on pushing and eventually you will get motivated…. But I'm not sure how it works exactly…..

 

[hopeless08]

My psychologist explained to me that to give purpose to our lives we need to find things that make it worth living.

Things we enjoy doing.

For some it could be simple things for others it could be bigger ones just like a vacation far away.

But what do you do when all the things you enjoyed in the past, are not fun anymore?
When you don't enjoy doing them anymore?
When everything feels heavy and like a huge chore instead of something you like.

I can read a book, I can solve a puzzle, I can game on my pc for hours.

But it's not the same anymore. It doesn't make life worth to live for.

Why don't you just let me die peacefully if I don't have anything that makes life worth the pain and the misery?

I know what you mean I don't enjoy anything anymore, not a single thing.
Some people are deeply depressed yet still manage to enjoy certain activities,
I don't know what it feels like to enjoy anymore, the pain and suffering override and sense of pleasure.

 

[AllMyDreams]

I think what has to happen is you have to feel some stakes. And that happens when you are part of an effort with other people or trying to help other people. That's when I've usually felt like I'm in life instead of just looking at it

 

[Blue Elephant]

Well there's this belief that you can't wait for motivation to magically appear… that you need to keep on pushing and eventually you will get motivated…. But I'm not sure how it works exactly…..

You are correct, but what we're doing here is treating the symptoms when we should treat the disease. That is if the disease can be treated..

@AnonymousL do you know why you're sad?

 

[hopeless08]

Well there's this belief that you can't wait for motivation to magically appear… that you need to keep on pushing and eventually you will get motivated…. But I'm not sure how it works exactly…..

That belief is absolutely true during a deep depression I had a few years ago, my therapist told me the same thing, that staying in bed is not going to make anything better, I'm not going to magically feel better and I did force myself, well actually I was forced to do things and I got better but this time is completely different, there is no comparison to the last depression as I'm in sheer agony. I have zero hope and zero motivation, I've tried, believe I've tried everything and nothing has worked.
Sometimes you know, you can feel in your gut that it's never going to get better and I just have to accept that but that's my situation. Maybe it can work for others, those of you who still have a tiny bit of motivation and a tiny bit of hope, then absolutely try to force yourselves to do something, in hope that things could get better, I'm just talking about my personal experience, I've tried it all. I truly hope there are some of you that can get better.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

That belief is absolutely true during a deep depression I had a few years ago, my therapist told me the same thing, that staying in bed is not going to make anything better, I'm not going to magically feel better and I did force myself, well actually I was forced to do things and I got better but this time is completely different, there is no comparison to the last depression as I'm in sheer agony. I have zero hope and zero motivation, I've tried, believe I've tried everything and nothing has worked.
Sometimes you know, you can feel in your gut that it's never going to get better and I just have to accept that but that's my situation. Maybe it can work for others, those of you who still have a tiny bit of motivation and a tiny bit of hope, then absolutely try to force yourselves to do something, in hope that things could get better, I'm just talking about my personal experience, I've tried it all. I truly hope there are some of you that can get better.

Well I'm at the point where I physically and mentally can't do anything anymore except for staying in bed

 

[sserafim]

I think what has to happen is you have to feel some stakes. And that happens when you are part of an effort with other people or trying to help other people. That's when I've usually felt like I'm in life instead of just looking at it

I've always wanted to do this, but I've never felt a sense of belonging or connection. I've never felt part of a group or like I belonged anywhere

"Call me captain, I'll do it for my crew now" is my secret desire lol

 

[Blue Elephant]

Well I'm at the point where I physically and mentally can't do anything anymore except for staying in bed

I force myself to go to a gym and to do walks every now and then.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I force myself to go to a gym and to do walks every now and then.

I've been working out my whole life. I don't care anymore. Glad it's working for you. Really

 

[Jorms_McGander]

My psychologist explained to me that to give purpose to our lives we need to find things that make it worth living.

Things we enjoy doing.

For some it could be simple things for others it could be bigger ones just like a vacation far away.

But what do you do when all the things you enjoyed in the past, are not fun anymore?
When you don't enjoy doing them anymore?
When everything feels heavy and like a huge chore instead of something you like.

I can read a book, I can solve a puzzle, I can game on my pc for hours.

But it's not the same anymore. It doesn't make life worth to live for.

Why don't you just let me die peacefully if I don't have anything that makes life worth the pain and the misery?

I guess the answer would be that you have anhedonia and therefore stand to recover from that but I find that fairly insufficient. For how long does society expect an individual to overcome such a thing before the person is allowed to let go?

I also struggle with the overall meaninglessness of things. How am I meant to find meaning in my own individual existence? I am astounded by the beauty of the natural order and privileged to be a part of it for a while and to witness what I have and understand the things I have

But that's not a meaning. I am still engaged in meaningless suffering as long as I identify that society has no use for me which I can tolerate in my condition. Unable to find meaning in menial labour and unwilling to accept that as a necessary role. Let somebody who fits that role fill it-- I was not equipped to do that without undue mental suffering. If nobody was, then let nobody fill the role of menial labourer and let society crumble and die for all I care.

I'm not doing it lol. Not into all the coping it would take, despite the possibility that I could eventually be content working some unsatisfactory job.

I wrote all this about me cuz I'm trying not to speak for others and I hope I'm not wrong in feeling I identify with your experience

 

[Blue Elephant]

I've been working out my whole life. I don't care anymore. Glad it's working for you. Really

Barely, but to be honest I'm just doing this until my CTB conditions are met. I might as well not have an existence full of only suffering until then.

edit: I'm really sorry that things are not working out for you.: (

 

[Red Moon]

Nothing is enjoyable for me anymore either. I can play a game I like for hours and it feels pointless for me. Life is not worth living for me and I wish there were more and easier ways to die.

 

[AnonymousL]

@AnonymousL do you know why you're sad?

A life long of trauma.
A childhood that was non existent.

Betrayal , physical and sexual abuse, lost loved ones, etc etc.

Nothing I can fully heal from.

 

[Blue Elephant]

A life long of trauma.
A childhood that was non existent.

Betrayal , physical and sexual abuse, lost loved ones, etc etc.

Nothing I can fully heal from.

Well, I don't know how one can come back from that. I'm sorry @AnonymousL. : (

 

[AnonymousL]

Well, I don't know how one can come back from that. I'm sorry @AnonymousL. : (

It's okay , I know the only way out is ctb.