Venting Nothing terrible happened.

[Sleeper System]

I got up this morning and went to work. It was a pain but nothing terrible happened. 9 hours outside.
Now i've returned home and i'm laying in bed still wishing I was dead.

The point is... nothing matters anymore. I still find a small bit of joy in things within this life but ultimately it's all a meaningless distraction from knowing with all my being that I don't want to be here.
I think it's "sleep" that numbs the strain of being alive. Without it, i'd be so so tired. I know that's stating the obvious but it's deeper than that. I keep going because i wake up and im still here. I'm ok. So I get up and just move. Repeat the cycle. I guess until the day I wake up and can no longer GET up. FML.

 

[carnivalforone]

repeat the cycle until we cant anymore.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

At the age of 44, I can't tell you that it gets worse with age, and the desire to sleep all the time becomes greater every day. I pray for terminal illness.

 

[Sleeper System]

At the age of 44, I can't tell you that it gets worse with age, and the desire to sleep all the time becomes greater every day. I pray for terminal illness.

That's a wild thing to say. My insurance wouldn't cover any terminal illness id get i think so that would just make my life far worse.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

If I got it, I would just let it bleed me out. No doctors, no hospitals. No wasted resources. Just take me. If the suffering became too much t least it would make it easier to off myself.

 

[Sleeper System]

If I got it, I would just let it bleed me out. No doctors, no hospitals. No wasted resources. Just take me. If the suffering became too much t least it would make it easier to off myself.

Vets have N for when they euthanize animals. Part of me would want to hold up a clinic and get them to give me the goods then drive to some remote location and down that shit. Idk.