Venting Not wanting to die alone

[WombRot]

I don't want to die alone but I feel like I have to. I wish I could have someone there as I attempt... To hold me as I fade away or even just to talk. I know it's unrealistic and selfish but I just want that final comfort ya know? I'm still going to CTB regardless but I'm a bit upset I have to do it all by myself.

 

[walkingdead2023]

I don't want to die alone but I feel like I have to. I wish I could have someone there as I attempt... To hold me as I fade away or even just to talk. I know it's unrealistic and selfish but I just want that final comfort ya know? I'm still going to CTB regardless but I'm a bit upset I have to do it all by myself.

Unfortunately that someone will be arrested too so it's like you said unrealistic! I wish I can have someone to kill me but this also selfish… what's your method?

 

[WombRot]

Unfortunately that someone will be arrested too so it's like you said unrealistic! I wish I can have someone to kill me but this also selfish… what's your method?

My preferred method would be opiate overdose. Though I don't think I will be able to access enough to have a successful fatal overdose so I'm currently considering other methods.

 

[uniqueusername39]

you have the forum....ive seen plenty threads seeking solace in this place in their final moments. it's bittersweet.

 

[ScubaCTB]

I always dreamed of my CTB with a woman, as we sip wine, laugh, then do whatever we do before and to CTB. A woman that has been through as much horror heartbreak, severe depression, divorced issues, etc. that I've endured throughout life. But there's WAY too much that can go wrong with that. I offered to fly any woman who was semi-cute and wanted to hang out for a week before CTB (all paid for by me), from anywhere in the world. Lots of weird responses and that was 2019. Many of those responses were probably police.

I hate that I'm going to die alone in the woods in a couple weeks (unless a bear kills me out there). But that's the reality. I'm in my 40s, and will die via CTB alone, in the woods, in a camo suit so I'm not found. Hate this world so much!!

 

[WombRot]

I always dreamed of my CTB with a woman, as we sip wine, laugh, then do whatever we do before and to CTB. A woman that has been through as much horror heartbreak, severe depression, divorced issues, etc. that I've endured throughout life. But there's WAY too much that can go wrong with that. I offered to fly any woman who was semi-cute and wanted to hang out for a week before CTB (all paid for by me), from anywhere in the world. Lots of weird responses and that was 2019. Many of those responses were probably police.

I hate that I'm going to die alone in the woods in a couple weeks (unless a bear kills me out there). But that's the reality. I'm in my 40s, and will die via CTB alone, in the woods, in a camo suit so I'm not found. Hate this world so much!!

I'm sorry you feel like you have to die alone too. I empathize despite our situations and experiences seeming so different. I really hope you can find a reason to live or at least a more comforting end..

 

[Sleeper System]

I don't want to die alone but I feel like I have to. I wish I could have someone there as I attempt... To hold me as I fade away or even just to talk. I know it's unrealistic and selfish but I just want that final comfort ya know? I'm still going to CTB regardless but I'm a bit upset I have to do it all by myself.

I don't care if I die alone. I never made any real attempt to connect with anybody in life so why would I or should I care who I'm with when I die.
I just want to feel as little pain as possible and hope that my last breaths are a relief and a weight off my shoulders.
If I could chose, id like to die with another person. A friend. or a lover. or a pet. It's not required but I think it would bring me some comfort.

 

[ScubaCTB]

I'm sorry you feel like you have to die alone too. I empathize despite our situations and experiences seeming so different. I really hope you can find a reason to live or at least a more comforting end..

I live to pay rent and eat. That's not a life. Some of the financial stuff is messing with me. But February at the latest, I will be gone. I'm doing the nitrogen/SCUBA mask method.

 

[ScubaCTB]

I'm sorry you feel like you have to die alone too. I empathize despite our situations and experiences seeming so different. I really hope you can find a reason to live or at least a more comforting end..

I just want it to be quick and painless. From all accounts, the scuba mask/nitrogen method is pretty much the second-best method after N if you do it right. Should be unconscious within seconds and dead in minutes. If i do it right. I've done everything wrong in life to this point. I hope and pray so hard I can do this one thing right in a few weeks.

 

[outrider567]

I don't want to die alone but I feel like I have to. I wish I could have someone there as I attempt... To hold me as I fade away or even just to talk. I know it's unrealistic and selfish but I just want that final comfort ya know? I'm still going to CTB regardless but I'm a bit upset I have to do it all by myself.

I don't want anyone around, they might interfere with the process