Not sure when to CTB

[Leopard2023]

Firstly I've got to overcome some obstacles including

- I need to get rid of stuff including private notes that I don't want people to see.
- I need access to a humane method.
- Maybe write a suicide note, dunno how to though.

Right now the humane methods I'm thinking of is

- SN
- Hanging

I'm bad enough not knowing how to organise it, I know nothing bout

- N
- Nitrogen

But if all fails then maybe eventually I may have to

- Jump in front of a car/train

I'm not sure tho when to CTB. Not sure if I should do it

- Before 2026
- Before 2030
- After 2030

I just feel like either noone cares bout me or they don't care/understand bout my problems.

I feel like I'm trapped in a nightmare.

 

[sabbath]

I'm going very soon.
No note.
Diazepam and propranolol.
I've the supplies I should just fall to sleep, heart stop and breathing will slow anyhow.

Jump in front of a car/train

You won't die you'll be in ICU do it a long time.