NSFW Not intrusive "intrusive" thoughts

[Thekla]

I'm sorry if this sounds too explicit. I'm not really thinking about the structure of what I'm saying, just hoping it will make sense.

I consider myself asexual, I've never felt attraction towards people in my life. Like, I've never looked at a guy and was "turned on" by them. But occasionally, when talking to a guy or friend, my brain will start yelling at me: "You should rape him". It's not necessarily sexual, I'm not aroused by them, I don't know what else to call it.

I was never abused myself. At least, not by family or friends. I'm not entirely sure why I feel this way. I've heard a lot of women have rape fantasies, but they're usually on the "receiving side". These aren't so much intrusive thoughts, more like fantasies which appear at random which I need to consciously dispose of. As in, once I catch myself thinking about it, I need to hit myself metaphorically to get it to stop. I feel so awful for thinking like this.

It's not just sexual thoughts, it's about a lot of things. I take a walk every day and on one of my routes, there's a Chik-Fil-A surrounded by one of those fences with spikes.

Do you ever walk by one of those and think "what if I tripped and was decapitated in front of all these people". A "normal intrusive thought" would be reacted like "wow, that's awful, anyway—", while I would ponder on the idea for at least a few minutes. Thinking about the aftermath and how people would react. If people would scream or what people would be called to dispose of my body.

It's just weird.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

That sounds very much like intrusive thoughts.
We all get them, and just because you don't act like "damn, anyway.." it doesn't mean it's not an intrusive thought.
In OCD these thoughts do not let go and we continue to hold on and ponder about them and that we are awful for having the thought in the first place.
The second step of an intrusive thought in the world of OCD, is the need for a compulsion. This can be either physical or mentally. They can cause temporarily relief, but temporary is the keyboard.

Not saying you have OCD at all, but I just wanted to point out these sound like text book intrusive thoughts.

 

[iamanavalanche]

this definitely sounds like intrusive thoughts ^^

 

[ChainedCrow]

like the beautiful people above me said those are intrusive thoughts and just because they dont go away quickly doesnt exclude them from being such. Much love

 

[EmptyBottle]

I sometimes get thoughts like that, tho it is more like curious ideas (I see a 200bar compressed air tank fail, or its aftermath, and think, wouldn't it be good for collateral self defence... eg, if too many enemies get too close, a simple sabotage of the tank will clean the room of enemies... and likely me too, but at least the enemies are gone and others don't have to fear for their safety... PS: those enemies are imaginary as of this post). On occasion the ideas are unwanted, tho sometimes they are cool to think about when bored.