BabyYoda

BabyYoda

F*ck this sh!t I'm out
Dec 30, 2019
552
The person I've been asking for help from was apparently upset with me because I wasn't making any "progress" and that he was already tired of putting so much effort into making me feel better. From that time on I've tried to avoid telling my friends about my problems because I'm afraid that they will say the same thing and it will ruin our friendship. Proof that unconditional love doesn't exist and love will never be unconditional. I hate that the burden is too heavy for me to handle but this is my only option left. Same friend tried to stop me from committing suicide but I need to keep quiet about it now.

Currently my anxiety has skyrocketed and I can already feel my veins popping in my arms. I don't want to discuss the reason why.

Since I refuse to get help outside of this site and myself, I guess suicide would be good for me. Just not now though, even if I really want to because the pain wouldn't stop.
 
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Beachygirl

Beachygirl

Member
Jan 3, 2020
98
Why do you think the pain wouldn't stop? and I can understand where you are coming from and I have had friends that want to help me and get me help but I dont want help as I know I'm ready to leave the world behind.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Awww. Yoda... we are here for you and we understand. We are better than the outside world who doesn't get it. Talk to us.
 
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LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
I'm so sorry about your suffering. I do agree it's hard to find people that will talk to me when I'm really having an episode of despair. And unfortunately if I even cry or show emotion people irl run away and then distance themselves.
I know it's not the same as in person but we do understand here. You can talk here with others here honestly and openly about your struggles without judgement. The private chat and PM features have helped me so much. I can talk to others privately as well.
You are not alone!
❤❤❤
 
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TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
We are all here for you... Sending you lots of :heart:and :hug: :hug:
 
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BabyYoda

BabyYoda

F*ck this sh!t I'm out
Dec 30, 2019
552
Why do you think the pain wouldn't stop? and I can understand where you are coming from and I have had friends that want to help me and get me help but I dont want help as I know I'm ready to leave the world behind.
There's not one day that I don't feel anxious. I always think about avoiding as much pain as possible, which makes me worry wheneve a slight inconvenience happens. It seems that the incident that happened to me during the past few months of 2019 screwed up my mental health so much it left me like this. Sorry if this wasn't a good explanation.

Awww. Yoda... we are here for you and we understand. We are better than the outside world who doesn't get it. Talk to us.
Thank you. I really enjoy being here.

I'm so sorry about your suffering. I do agree it's hard to find people that will talk to me when I'm really having an episode of despair. And unfortunately if I even cry or show emotion people irl run away and then distance themselves.
I know it's not the same as in person but we do understand here. You can talk here with others here honestly and openly about your struggles without judgement. The private chat and PM features have helped me so much. I can talk to others privately as well.
You are not alone!
❤❤❤
Thank you.

We are all here for you... Sending you lots of :heart:and :hug: :hug:
Thank you again.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Seeking help outside of this site can be hard. Help in the real world is conditional just like love can be, you have to be very careful what you say and who you say it to.

I'm sorry you've been having trouble with your friends as I've also experienced something similar. But as others have said above, we're here for you. I don't think anyone who's posted here would mind if you sent a PM to talk.
 
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Beachygirl

Beachygirl

Member
Jan 3, 2020
98
I'm really sorry to hear that do you think you can see hope ?
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Seeking help outside of this site can be hard. Help in the real world is conditional just like love can be, you have to be very careful what you say and who you say it to.

I'm sorry you've been having trouble with your friends as I've also experienced something similar. But as others have said above, we're here for you. I don't think anyone who's posted here would mind if you sent a PM to talk.
Morning Brick!!!

Look at all the people you have Yoda. We are all here for you. :heart: Just don't bring any frogs.
 
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BabyYoda

BabyYoda

F*ck this sh!t I'm out
Dec 30, 2019
552
Seeking help outside of this site can be hard. Help in the real world is conditional just like love can be, you have to be very careful what you say and who you say it to.

I'm sorry you've been having trouble with your friends as I've also experienced something similar. But as others have said above, we're here for you. I don't think anyone who's posted here would mind if you sent a PM to talk.
Thank you.

I'm really sorry to hear that do you think you can see hope ?
I'm not even sure if there is hope left for me
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Thank you.


I'm not even sure if there is hope left for me
I can't promise that there will be hope. I know there would be none if you ate my cooking.

However, we are here to talk to and help if you want to try.

Look at it this way. I'm still here. There is always hope because there is no way in hell I should be. This board and a promise to someone on this board has given me the hope, and I am still here.

Besides. What would I do without you? You know I love your avatar and name. I love seeing you. You make me smile, and you are one of the reasons I am here.
 
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L

LivingToLong

Experienced
Feb 23, 2019
259
Seems to me that life has a way of beating up on the little guys.

It's really hard to reach out for help, really hard. It takes a lot of strength, strength that you don't have when you're down. Irony or what? And when you get smacked down, it hurts more because you've made that effort. Makes you feel like not bothering again. Then you recover, build up the energy levels again and - because everyone says to have to ask for help - you reach out again. And get smacked down... again. Sucks doesn't it? Sucks big time.

I don't want to sound like some kind of whiny kid but it's not fair.
 
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D

dmsdnd18

Member
Sep 26, 2019
48
I had a really close friend that got tired of putting up with me i guess as well. She was really the only person i opened up to about my struggles with anxiety and depression. And she saw me as stuck bc i wasnt making any progress either. And now we dont talk which sucks bc i have no outlet for my anxious thoughts
 
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T

The nerd

Student
Dec 21, 2019
116
I understand and feel the same as the op. People just don't get it. You will find many here that do.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Seems to me that life has a way of beating up on the little guys.

It's really hard to reach out for help, really hard. It takes a lot of strength, strength that you don't have when you're down. Irony or what? And when you get smacked down, it hurts more because you've made that effort. Makes you feel like not bothering again. Then you recover, build up the energy levels again and - because everyone says to have to ask for help - you reach out again. And get smacked down... again. Sucks doesn't it? Sucks big time.

I don't want to sound like some kind of whiny kid but it's not fair.
No. It isn't fair. It isn't fair that people seem to have everything we deserve. Friends, relationships, a great job, and most of all... happiness and we are stuck in Hell.

It isn't fair, that we were dealt this horrible hand in life. Who knows why we were the chosen ones for this crappy life.

Look around you to everyone here. We were all dealt that crappy hand. Take comfort in knowing that you aren't alone and you have others who so understand how you are feeling.

Whine away. We all do.
 
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NotGoneButNotHere

NotGoneButNotHere

Member
Nov 3, 2019
45
The person I've been asking for help from was apparently upset with me because I wasn't making any "progress" and that he was already tired of putting so much effort into making me feel better. From that time on I've tried to avoid telling my friends about my problems because I'm afraid that they will say the same thing and it will ruin our friendship. Proof that unconditional love doesn't exist and love will never be unconditional. I hate that the burden is too heavy for me to handle but this is my only option left. Same friend tried to stop me from committing suicide but I need to keep quiet about it now.

Currently my anxiety has skyrocketed and I can already feel my veins popping in my arms. I don't want to discuss the reason why.

Since I refuse to get help outside of this site and myself, I guess suicide would be good for me. Just not now though, even if I really want to because the pain wouldn't stop.
I feel you on this. Some people are ignorant to think that they can magically fix your issues with a little support and then they get mad or abandon you if it doesn't happen quickly or to their liking. My mom used to guilt me a lot when I first started getting worse and it didn't do anything positive for me. That being said, I'm sorry you feel like this. If you ever want to chat or something my inbox is open. I don't plan on being here much longer but until I go I'm a set of ears for whoever needs it
 
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J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
Why do you think the pain wouldn't stop? and I can understand where you are coming from and I have had friends that want to help me and get me help but I dont want help as I know I'm ready to leave the world behind.
"Just not now though, even if I really want to because the pain wouldn't stop."
I think they are saying : "even though I want to due to the pain being non-stop."
I don't think they're saying that CTB would not end the pain.
 
Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
You're surrounded by unconditional acceptance here. Welcome to the forum. This is a great place to meet people and share with others who might have similar experiences.
 
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Thereisnothing

Thereisnothing

Enlightened
Jan 4, 2020
1,604
I find that if you reach out to so called friends, some are ok for a day or so then think you should be 'over it', others dont respond at all and just ignore you and if say anything its often 'I am busy right now I'll get in touch in few weeks time!'
Even reaching out to those who are supposed to help on phone lines/organizations can be very patronizing and make matters worse.
This is why I believe that noone can truly understand or begin to, unless one of two things, that they really wish to help you and care or themselves know first hand what its like to be in a desperate situation. Its so easy for people to critisize and abuse, if they haven't walked in your shoes.
For me its incredibly empty and lonely.
 
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R

Roro90

Member
Jan 2, 2020
21
it's really dumb , they always say you should ask for help but when you do ,you feel like a burden and no one wants to hear you .
I stopped talking to my best friend about my problems because i felt annoying asf she already has her own problems and most of the time she seems like a happy healthy person why would i bother her with my thoughts? I really want to get better without seeking for someone help because no one understands how i feel
i recommend you go to psychiatric they won't take it personally , meds might also help
don't take your life away because no one hears you , try for your sake at least that's what I'm trying to do ...
 
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N

NotSoComfortablyNumb

Another failed attempt -.-
Jan 4, 2020
36
Seeking help outside of this site can be hard. Help in the real world is conditional just like love can be, you have to be very careful what you say and who you say it to.

I'm sorry you've been having trouble with your friends as I've also experienced something similar. But as others have said above, we're here for you. I don't think anyone who's posted here would mind if you sent a PM to talk.
I hear that. In Munich town there is ZERO mental health departments. They take u to hospital. You talk your way out of it. They let u go home! Ridiculous. They say if one person doesn't listen, try another. Sounds bs but hope this helps xx
I hear that. In Munich town there is ZERO mental health departments. They take u to hospital. You talk your way out of it. They let u go home! Ridiculous. They say if one person doesn't listen, try another. Sounds bs but hope this helps xx
My town*
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
I get it yoda, people do that with me too. They get angry with me because im not getting any better when they try to help. Being listened to on here has helped me more than having people irl trying to tell me how to think.
 
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Misanthrope

Misanthrope

Mage
Oct 23, 2018
557
I read an interesting thing about why ill people often get blamed. Sadly I can't find it but it discusses a fallacy. I think it was called the magic key fallacy. Or I am misremembering. My brain is like cabbage these days so that is entirely possible.

Any way the fallacy, It is that if you just talk to someone who is mentally distressed they will have a eureka moment and recover because of the insight they have just been provided from that talk. As if one heartfelt talk will fix it. Often when it doesn't those same people will get frustrated and in some cases then blame you for not wanting to recover. Worse, psychiatric services can behave in a similar manner if you don't show signs of improvement. Which is ironic because they often follow a medical model in the first place...

You see this myth constantly reinforced every time you watch a psychotic killer being confronted with their own mental illness and in the moment they realise, they put down the knife. You see it in terrible dramas where some traumatic event has occurred and best friends hug it out and have a good cry and then the next day the trauma is gone. Media rarely reflects reality as it is. When things don't play out like a Disney film with neat resolutions people can get frustrated.
 
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ShaneAuclair19

ShaneAuclair19

Time is Of No Essence
Jan 4, 2020
2
I've sadly been down this road. My best friend told me "putting have to get used to you being around". That was 3 years ago. Still hear it on repeat in my head.
 
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BabyYoda

BabyYoda

F*ck this sh!t I'm out
Dec 30, 2019
552
I read an interesting thing about why ill people often get blamed. Sadly I can't find it but it discusses a fallacy. I think it was called the magic key fallacy. Or I am misremembering. My brain is like cabbage these days so that is entirely possible.

Any way the fallacy, It is that if you just talk to someone who is mentally distressed they will have a eureka moment and recover because of the insight they have just been provided from that talk. As if one heartfelt talk will fix it. Often when it doesn't those same people will get frustrated and in some cases then blame you for not wanting to recover. Worse, psychiatric services can behave in a similar manner if you don't show signs of improvement. Which is ironic because they often follow a medical model in the first place...

You see this myth constantly reinforced every time you watch a psychotic killer being confronted with their own mental illness and in the moment they realise, they put down the knife. You see it in terrible dramas where some traumatic event has occurred and best friends hug it out and have a good cry and then the next day the trauma is gone. Media rarely reflects reality as it is. When things don't play out like a Disney film with neat resolutions people can get frustrated.
Interesting, I've never heard of that.
 
Last edited:
Starrywaters

Starrywaters

Member
Dec 10, 2019
67
You are not alone... you are here.. and here is a comforting place to be.

I'm sorry you feel so lost and misunderstood but we are here.


Also, I love baby Yoda.
 
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BabyYoda

BabyYoda

F*ck this sh!t I'm out
Dec 30, 2019
552
Hey guys, thank you for all your support. I'm feeling better right now. I realized that even with my situation I am not alone.
 
Despondent

Despondent

Archangel
Dec 20, 2019
6,777
You've got a friend in me ❤ If you ever need to talk, vent, rant, please feel free to pm me. I'm here if you need me :hug:
You've got a friend in me ❤ If you ever need to talk, vent, rant, please feel free to pm me. I'm here if you need me :hug:
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Hey mate if you ever need to vent to me im
Open. Warm hugs
 

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