not giving a fuck about abandonment saved my life

[slightoverlooked]

hii im writing here in the recovery section bc i decided to recover from being severely suicidal. honestly, what helped me drastically was working on my anxious attachment and fearing abandonment. I dont care anymore if ppl leave me bc it doesn't make me less worthy. most of the time those ppl weren't good for me anyway. i don't run after ppl anymore. i just focus on who is good to me and i stay true to myself.

I'm still plagued by suicidal thoughts but this shift in my life genuinely saved my life. working on the way you view friendships helps a lot! I'm at a point where i would rather be alone than be with people who dont treat me well or dont respect my triggers and boundaries.

i hope everyone struggling with loneliness can learn this as well.
i wouldn't say I'm lonely in a societal sense but I'm experiencing lots of that depression loneliness. i sit here and hope for someone genuinely loving me one day and most of the time i say I'm giving life a chance till I'm 25...but maybe i will feel better in 3-4 years and decide to keep going. for now I have a good start into recovery working on these things.

 

[Linda]

It's a fact of life that some friends and some boyfriends will leave you. It's not a reflection on you personally. Usually it just means that the two of you were not well matched for one reason or another. It hurts when it happens, of course, but just move on and find somone else. There are billions of people on the planet. There will certainly be millions who would love to have you as a friend or girlfriend. All you have to do is find a few of them.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm still suicidal for other reasons, but letting go of emotional attachment to others was one of the best things for me mentally. It helped me realize how unhealthy and one-sided a lot of my relationships were, it helped me learn to stand up for my needs and become more independent (instead of fawning and being inauthentic, which I did a lot as a stress response), and it made me resilient to other people's abuse. Great to hear you're doing better.

 

[slightoverlooked]

It's a fact of life that some friends and some boyfriends will leave you. It's not a reflection on you personally. Usually it just means that the two of you were not well matched for one reason or another. It hurts when it happens, of course, but just move on and find somone else. There are billions of people on the planet. There will certainly be millions who would love to have you as a friend or girlfriend. All you have to do is find a few of them.

you are right. i try to think like this when i feel down about failed friendships. i have so many friends that i would have never imagined meeting a year ago and I'm so happy they r in my life.

I'm still suicidal for other reasons, but letting go of emotional attachment to others was one of the best things for me mentally. It helped me realize how unhealthy and one-sided a lot of my relationships were, it helped me learn to stand up for my needs and become more independent (instead of fawning and being inauthentic, which I did a lot as a stress response), and it made me resilient to other people's abuse. Great to hear you're doing better.

same here. im proud of us for doing this step bc i think this rlly helps with self worth