Not allowed to be "anti recovery"

[hellgirlredux]

Anyone else miss the days on the internet when it was okay just to not recover at all? Like I don't even want to try. I was never on pro Ana/self harm forums but I was on a few related to suicide, depression etc. I just miss the nuanced and in depth discussion with people that understood and didn't say "oh just call it being healthy/becoming happier/getting better/magical journey that just happens on its own without you having to lift a finger" that fourth one was suggested to me by someone on Reddit, which probably won't be surprising for some of you. I just don't relate to wanting to get better. Even during my time in antipsychiatry circles they would push and push recovery, basically redefining it endlessly and calling it different things until a rather exhausted me gave in and tried to force myself to recover. It didn't go well and now I am actually worse off. And when people say you have to want to get better to get better it's like, are you kidding me? Why'd you all pressure me into it then?

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

What does recovery even mean? Even those that push it can't really define it.

 

[Pluto]

People instinctively value freedom, to the extent that having people push anything on you will make you detest that thing. Sometimes I liken it to a rubber band that when stretched one way will suddenly shoot off in the opposite direction when it is finally released.

Being accepted and supported unconditionally is important to find your own clarity and make your own choices. There's something counterintuitive about the way it can work, and it's different for different people. Only from a simplistic perspective is the answer to try and talk someone out of feeling what they are feeling.

 

[myownpetvirus]

I don't really understand what people mean when they say they don't want recovery. Who doesn't want to be happy and feel good?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't really understand what people mean when they say they don't want recovery. Who doesn't want to be happy and feel good?

I think it's more about realism- think about what it is you NEED in order to recover and think how likely it is you will be able to get it.

For most people- recovery either means getting what they want (sometimes difficult, sometimes impossible.) OR- letting go of what they want and trying to settle for less. Depends just HOW difficult it is to 'fix' your life, and how much effort you are willing to put in to either achieve the solution or rewire your thinking so you can be 'happy-ish' without it.

Recovery would be ace if you just snapped your fingers, or, talked to someone, or, took a pill and you were back on track. How often does that happen though?!! It takes time and effort and even then- it isn't guaranteed- you may feel better only to feel worse again.

Plus- happiness itself isn't all that stable. It tends to latch itself to things in life that aren't permanent. So- you have to change your thinking I suppose.

Also depends if you think the end result is going to be worth it... Some people here have experienced very little happiness in life. What do you suppose 'recovery' even looks like for them? What if they neither have nor particularly want relationships, family, career, material goods. Some people have got to a point where they can't think of much that would make them happy. How can you aim for something when you don't know what it is? Or- you kind of suspect that the best case scenario won't be good enough?

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that when it comes to wanting suicide there is no such thing really as 'recovery'. Being suicidal isn't the mental illness and at least in my case my thoughts of suicide are just a rational response to not seeing existence as being worth enduring. There is no value and benefit to any kind of suffering and life is just an useless, unnecessary concept that leads to nowhere other than our inevitable deterioration and death. At least to me it makes sense to want to permanently solve all problems and be free from the burden that is existing.

I just think that any 'recovery' in relation to this is just people deluding themselves, that's fine for them but they should have no right to force their life valuing beliefs onto others. Maybe many people simply don't want to come to terms with the fact that death is the most preferable option for some people as accepting this would shatter their worldview. But I would personally choose non existence over any kind of life, as the thing that I have a problem with is life itself and your feelings are completely understandable.

 

[Kobusu]

I think what's unique about SS is that it's one of the few mental-health related forums where you aren't told you have to do anything at all. That being said, being "anti-recovery" is a slippery slope because that itself would lead to people encouraging others to not recover and, albeit indirectly, imply that suicide is their only option because "recovery can't be worth it/is a waste of time/etc." It's not a good mindset because ironically it is one that could turn this place into some sort of death cult where nobody is allowed to suggest that you even try and "recover" in whatever way, shape, or form you can. Being personally anti-recovery is fine, nobody has any right to dictate what you feel or the opinions you hold. Being anti-recovery and pushing it on people though is, understandably, looked down upon. We don't know everyone's situations or conditions, and though we may know/believe our own conditions to be "hopeless" and lacking the value in changing, we do not know if others are. There are many people here who easily could "recover" but, if they're put in an area where people encourage nothing but the opposite, never will.

 

[Moonomyth]

I don't know if I'm anti-recovery, but I am definitely opposed to the aesthetic of recovery as it currently exists.

 

[Whole-Ad]

I've tried recovery and honestly it isn't working for me. I'm constantly drawn back to this site and researching methods and attempting them. I think it's just too late for me to recover, I've reached a certain point where I can't return.