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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
Firstly this is highly discouraged. Do not taste or test SN if you don't want to die.

I did this on purpose as I have severe health issues especially my gut. I have ulcers, ulcerative colitis, ischemia, hernias, my gut and immune system are destroyed. Severe dehydration, malnourished and bad organ function including heart.
I did this to try to get a small picture of what I might feel as I don't want my last minutes to be hell and I scream for help as I'm never alone and can't be alone..

I had eaten 2 hours prior to this

So I dissolved about 1-2g in approx 20- 30ml water. I can't measure exact bcuz it will raise flags needing the items.

I first poured a cap full and put it in my mouth, swished it and spit it out. I felt nothing so I did that again. Still nothing. It tasted like normal salt water but obviously this is a low concentration. At 25g I imagine it's more like Epsom salts.

then I poured about 1/5 cap full and swallowed it. I felt burning in my transverse colon quickly like mild heart burn. After a few mins had mild tingling in my hands. Slight lightheaded blurred vision no heart issues
This was over approx 10 mins

so I poured another 1/5 cap full
And drank that. I instantly got dizzy, felt weak in my heart, hands tingled more than normal. Was very lightheaded and worried I'd pass out and SI became strong.. i had fear but I am dying regardless so tbh accidental death would be preferred.

I prepared to log out and clear history in case I passed out and the symptoms started easing up..., this was approx 7 mins.

After doing this I believe that FOR ME (and possibly others with SEVERE gut issues, not mild ibs) a small dose will cause all symptoms to be exacerbated and possibly lose consciousness quickly ..
My fear is that if I don't lose consciousness quickly the pain I'll experience will be more than I can handle and call for help.

It's now been 30-40 minutes and i feel heavier than normal and heavy chest during breathing ...

This is definitely not how I wanted to pass or imagined I'd ever experience. I will be clear, I don't want to die, but my health circumstances make it impossible to go on and YES I've tried everything.. to the tune of $200k plus conventional insurance .. there is 0 quality for me.

maybe this helps someone with as bad health as me to decide on SN or not
i will answer questions if any

TLDR: it's gonna suck
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
i hope you dont die this time. it seems like it would be slow and not as peaceful with the full amount. couldnt you take something to make you unconscious? i plan on taking something that i know will make me fall asleep if i ever do it. (of course then youd have to time it right so you dont fall asleep before or too late but thats another problem to deal with)
 
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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
After an hour .. I do feel labored to breathe.
feel like weights are on my chest
Slight headache sleepy

O2 is at 95%

i ate applesauce
I never feel ok so hard to judge
I expected O2 to be lower with how I feel

hopefully i just sleep and not wake and not know
 
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O

overandout

Experienced
Feb 28, 2019
234
So i didn't completely understand did you have less than 1 gram or 2 gram? As you said you had 1/5 capfull but not sure what that would be in grams as an estimate?

It is confusing because one lady a nurse passed away from 1 gram but she swallowed it in tablet form. Glad you're symptoms are bearable. Hope breathing eases up though

2 grams could be lethal so definitely be careful
 
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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
So i didn't completely understand did you have less than 1 gram or 2 gram? As you said you had 1/5 capfull but not sure what that would be in grams as an estimate?

It is confusing because one lady a nurse passed away from 1 gram but she swallowed it in tablet form. Glad you're symptoms are bearable. Hope breathing eases up though

2 grams could be lethal so definitely be careful
I would estimate that I ingested maybe half gram over the course of about 20 mins.

I was hoping to accidentally pass
 
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S

Smudgedlines

I like wine.
Jan 23, 2020
148
I'm sorry LS. Sorry it has come to this.
 
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Busdriver

Busdriver

Mage
Feb 11, 2020
513
I am sorry life sucks so much for you :(.

Would you, based on your testing and assumption you might lose consciousness quicker with gut issues, consider using SN for real as a CTB method?
 
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Jumper Geo

Jumper Geo

Life's a bitch and then you die.
Feb 23, 2020
2,910
If you got them symptoms from a small dose, 20/25g following the PPeH and Stan's guide will be quick..

Cheers

Geo
 
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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
FYI the SN i used has been exposed to air for 5 days wrapped in a paper towel inside a plastic lunch bag
It didn't lose any potency

I can't follow any guide as i have no access to the meds and bcuz of my gut they really don't work how they should for me.
 
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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
I am sorry life sucks so much for you :(.

Would you, based on your testing, consider using SN for real as a CTB method?
Unfortunately in my circumstances it's what I have. I could have access to N but the honest truth is I'm afraid of ctb no matter what or how peaceful so that's more complicated than i can explain
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
I can't follow any guide as i have no access to the meds and bcuz of my gut they really don't work how they should for me.
What about melatonin? It won't MAKE you sleep but it will make you drowsy. You should be able to get it over the counter and its already a substance in your brain so I can't see it causing any problems. Or at least major ones. You can get some that dissolve under your tougne and that might help but I'm not 100% sure.
 
L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
You spent 200k with health issues?
Tried everything to save my life and everything got destroyed in the process. If I knew I'd end up here anyway I would have done nothing and maybe died sooner.
 
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yetme

yetme

Arcanist
Oct 20, 2019
486
Firstly this is highly discouraged. Do not taste or test SN if you don't want to die.

I did this on purpose as I have severe health issues especially my gut. I have ulcers, ulcerative colitis, ischemia, hernias, my gut and immune system are destroyed. Severe dehydration, malnourished and bad organ function including heart.
I did this to try to get a small picture of what I might feel as I don't want my last minutes to be hell and I scream for help as I'm never alone and can't be alone..

After doing this I believe that FOR ME (and possibly others with SEVERE gut issues, not mild ibs) a small dose will cause all symptoms to be exacerbated and possibly lose consciousness quickly ..

maybe this helps someone with as bad health as me to decide on SN or not
i will answer questions if any

TLDR: it's gonna suck

Hi!
Sorry you have to go through this.
My guts are also ruined by Krohn disease. How bad was the pain?
Im also suffering from severe neuropathy, this is the main reason I want to CTB, because the neuro pain is terrifying. So when you had this tingling how long did it last? How bad was it?
Are you going to go with SN?
Sorry again for the questions. Id really appreciate your answer..
 
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O

overandout

Experienced
Feb 28, 2019
234
I would estimate that I ingested maybe half gram over the course of about 20 mins.

I was hoping to accidentally pass

Ah ok. I have a lot of stomach issues too. Would prefer to go with less for that reason. Would prefer to avoid vomiting. Tempted to try with 2 grams but not sure. Sorry life's treated you so harshly.
 
L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
As i said my organs don't work well and i can't clear toxins so I'm still feeling heavy, tingling, heavy chest, tinnitus is excruciating, my brain feels worse than usual .. like it's squeezed and I'm in a huge fog.

If i have to continue on bcuz of my fear of ctb .. I will lose my mind and probly die in a psych ward.


Hi!
Sorry you have to go through this.
My guts are also ruined by Krohn disease. How bad was the pain?
Im also suffering from severe neuropathy, this is the main reason I want to CTB, because the neuro pain is terrifying. So when you had this tingling how long did it last? How bad was it?
Are you going to go with SN?
Sorry again for the questions. Id really appreciate your answer..
I have severe neuropathy constantly so it never went away .. it's heightened still after 2 hours but if you're going to ctb it's kind of a mute point. The burning in transverse colon and severe dizziness distracted from the tingling. All i could think was i gotta log out and lay down.
 
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S

Steamm

Arcanist
Feb 28, 2020
446
Tried everything to save my life and everything got destroyed in the process. If I knew I'd end up here anyway I would have done nothing and maybe died sooner.
At least you had the money to spend.
 
L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
At least you had the money to spend.
No i didn't .. lost my home and retirement and my family and I'm not old.. it destroyed everything.. peoples futures are destroyed bcuz of this id rather live in a box and have health and live. And nothing helped so it was wasted
 
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Zappfe lover

Zappfe lover

Experienced
Jun 24, 2020
224
How are you feeling now?
 
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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
Like i drank poison .. headache. Dehydration

but i feel like death always now it's just amplified .. desperately need an accidental intervention or a miracle
 
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L

Living_Hurts_so_Much

Specialist
Jul 30, 2020
317
Like i drank poison .. headache. Dehydration

but i feel like death always now it's just amplified .. desperately need an accidental intervention or a miracle
I hope you are pain free soon and have peace however you find it.
 
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Zappfe lover

Zappfe lover

Experienced
Jun 24, 2020
224
Like i drank poison .. headache. Dehydration

but i feel like death always now it's just amplified .. desperately need an accidental intervention or a miracle
Goddamnit... wish I could help :aw:
 
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Pryras

Pryras

Last hope
Feb 11, 2020
622
How are you holding up? Are you alright?
Was SN your original go to method or were you planning on something else? Do you think taking a benzo beforehand would make things more peaceful for you?

While SN is a popular choice I don't think it's right for everyone. Especially someone with severe health/gut issues like yourself. I've tasted it before, don't remember how much, and it was bearable for a bit. I'm not hypersensitive to taste so the saltiness didn't bother as bad.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
After an hour .. I do feel labored to breathe.
feel like weights are on my chest
Slight headache sleepy

O2 is at 95%

i ate applesauce
I never feel ok so hard to judge
I expected O2 to be lower with how I feel

hopefully i just sleep and not wake and not know

iu
Pulse oximetry readings can be distorted due to the methemoglobinemia caused by SN. Only a vastly more expensive CO-oximeter gives accurate results. See my post here for more information.


iu
You hopefully already realise this, but the test you did (as well as being dangerous) isn't really very useful or predictive of much anyway. The small amount you took would have caused the unpleasant effects, but was not enough to lead to a quick loss of consciousness and ultimately death. Essentially you gave yourself the worst experience of both worlds.

What about melatonin? It won't MAKE you sleep but it will make you drowsy. You should be able to get it over the counter and its already a substance in your brain so I can't see it causing any problems. Or at least major ones. You can get some that dissolve under your tougne and that might help but I'm not 100% sure.

Unfortunately, melatonin is practically useless in this situation.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
Last edited:
J

JellyDreams

Member
Nov 10, 2019
56
Like i drank poison .. headache. Dehydration

but i feel like death always now it's just amplified .. desperately need an accidental intervention or a miracle

You shouldn't have tried it after reading my experience as were both sick with the same thing

I did the same after all the stories thought it would be great its not , maybe because were sick
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,931
Firstly this is highly discouraged. Do not taste or test SN if you don't want to die.

I did this on purpose as I have severe health issues especially my gut. I have ulcers, ulcerative colitis, ischemia, hernias, my gut and immune system are destroyed. Severe dehydration, malnourished and bad organ function including heart.
I did this to try to get a small picture of what I might feel as I don't want my last minutes to be hell and I scream for help as I'm never alone and can't be alone..

I had eaten 2 hours prior to this

So I dissolved about 1-2g in approx 20- 30ml water. I can't measure exact bcuz it will raise flags needing the items.

I first poured a cap full and put it in my mouth, swished it and spit it out. I felt nothing so I did that again. Still nothing. It tasted like normal salt water but obviously this is a low concentration. At 25g I imagine it's more like Epsom salts.

then I poured about 1/5 cap full and swallowed it. I felt burning in my transverse colon quickly like mild heart burn. After a few mins had mild tingling in my hands. Slight lightheaded blurred vision no heart issues
This was over approx 10 mins

so I poured another 1/5 cap full
And drank that. I instantly got dizzy, felt weak in my heart, hands tingled more than normal. Was very lightheaded and worried I'd pass out and SI became strong.. i had fear but I am dying regardless so tbh accidental death would be preferred.

I prepared to log out and clear history in case I passed out and the symptoms started easing up..., this was approx 7 mins.

After doing this I believe that FOR ME (and possibly others with SEVERE gut issues, not mild ibs) a small dose will cause all symptoms to be exacerbated and possibly lose consciousness quickly ..
My fear is that if I don't lose consciousness quickly the pain I'll experience will be more than I can handle and call for help.

It's now been 30-40 minutes and i feel heavier than normal and heavy chest during breathing ...

This is definitely not how I wanted to pass or imagined I'd ever experience. I will be clear, I don't want to die, but my health circumstances make it impossible to go on and YES I've tried everything.. to the tune of $200k plus conventional insurance .. there is 0 quality for me.

maybe this helps someone with as bad health as me to decide on SN or not
i will answer questions if any

TLDR: it's gonna suck
Sodium nitrite is toxic because of its effect on hemoglobin in the blood. So presumably it would be toxic if sodium nitrite solution (in water) were injected directly into the bloodstream. So far as I can see, there doesn't seem to be any particular reason why it should have to go through a digestive system to induce methemoglobinemia. However, please note that I have NOT researched this at all and it would be up to anyone who wished to know more to do the necessary research themselves.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,082
Firstly this is highly discouraged. Do not taste or test SN if you don't want to die.

I did this on purpose as I have severe health issues especially my gut. I have ulcers, ulcerative colitis, ischemia, hernias, my gut and immune system are destroyed. Severe dehydration, malnourished and bad organ function including heart.
I did this to try to get a small picture of what I might feel as I don't want my last minutes to be hell and I scream for help as I'm never alone and can't be alone..

I had eaten 2 hours prior to this

So I dissolved about 1-2g in approx 20- 30ml water. I can't measure exact bcuz it will raise flags needing the items.

I first poured a cap full and put it in my mouth, swished it and spit it out. I felt nothing so I did that again. Still nothing. It tasted like normal salt water but obviously this is a low concentration. At 25g I imagine it's more like Epsom salts.

then I poured about 1/5 cap full and swallowed it. I felt burning in my transverse colon quickly like mild heart burn. After a few mins had mild tingling in my hands. Slight lightheaded blurred vision no heart issues
This was over approx 10 mins

so I poured another 1/5 cap full
And drank that. I instantly got dizzy, felt weak in my heart, hands tingled more than normal. Was very lightheaded and worried I'd pass out and SI became strong.. i had fear but I am dying regardless so tbh accidental death would be preferred.

I prepared to log out and clear history in case I passed out and the symptoms started easing up..., this was approx 7 mins.

After doing this I believe that FOR ME (and possibly others with SEVERE gut issues, not mild ibs) a small dose will cause all symptoms to be exacerbated and possibly lose consciousness quickly ..
My fear is that if I don't lose consciousness quickly the pain I'll experience will be more than I can handle and call for help.

It's now been 30-40 minutes and i feel heavier than normal and heavy chest during breathing ...

This is definitely not how I wanted to pass or imagined I'd ever experience. I will be clear, I don't want to die, but my health circumstances make it impossible to go on and YES I've tried everything.. to the tune of $200k plus conventional insurance .. there is 0 quality for me.

maybe this helps someone with as bad health as me to decide on SN or not
i will answer questions if any

TLDR: it's gonna suck
You said you had eaten prior to this. Usually it's done fasting. How are you feeling now? Any effects from it still?
It should have given you a fast heart rate. Did you experience that?
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
Like i drank poison .. headache. Dehydration

but i feel like death always now it's just amplified .. desperately need an accidental intervention or a miracle
How do you feel today? :hug: Physically after your "experiment" and emotionally after coming so close..?
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,726
I'm curious, what happened to the part of the original post that asked for people to not get on your ass for doing this?
 
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