I have recently managed to get a better paying job but it is going to be extremely stressful. Recently went on a family vacation. Spent quite a bit of money. Ate all the food I ever wanted. Experienced some beautiful nature.
Yet when I came back and went into my routine, that emptiness and void was still there. Nothing seems to satisfy me and am always missing and longing for something. There is absolutely no contentment. Money, family, status, possessions... Nothing does it for me anymore... Add to this the stress, pressure and demands of the new job... What is the point of this rat race ? Is this all life is about ? Earn, pay, eat, sleep, repeat. Can I ever get out of this vicious and draining cycle ? CTB seems to be the only way out.
I can't remember the last time I genuinely felt joyful and content and relaxed.... This "always on" is killing me....might as well be dead !
May God have mercy and pull me out !
Yet when I came back and went into my routine, that emptiness and void was still there. Nothing seems to satisfy me and am always missing and longing for something. There is absolutely no contentment. Money, family, status, possessions... Nothing does it for me anymore... Add to this the stress, pressure and demands of the new job... What is the point of this rat race ? Is this all life is about ? Earn, pay, eat, sleep, repeat. Can I ever get out of this vicious and draining cycle ? CTB seems to be the only way out.
I can't remember the last time I genuinely felt joyful and content and relaxed.... This "always on" is killing me....might as well be dead !
May God have mercy and pull me out !
