Howdy! You have a whole website, SS, of friends and that includes me.
I am your friend on SS and I 100% believe in you as far as down the road you will do great. I have through the decades been where I had few things going on, as far as friends, work..etc, but then things would start to get better and it will for you also.
You are a kind and a intelligent soul, your post spoke volumes to me on this aspect, and you are like a flower that is just waiting to blossom and when you do, wow! it will be awesome.
Please try and do not be so hard on yourself, have a great rest of this week and a fantastic upcoming weekend.
Friends always,
Walter