Iris Blue
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
- Oct 23, 2023
- 226
When I say no one I for the most part mean my family and friends who know me in real life.
For months on end I've been planning and replanning my way to CTB and my note and just the right time to do it.
It may be part of my OCD but I would spend most of my days and nights constantly researching and figuring out the right plan for me and the risks that it could involve. Some of it gives me comfort but most of the time my brain feels like it's going a trillion thoughts an hour.
I feel like if my family were ever to know even part of the work I am putting into this and my feeling of needing to die they would be terrified.
For months on end I've been planning and replanning my way to CTB and my note and just the right time to do it.
It may be part of my OCD but I would spend most of my days and nights constantly researching and figuring out the right plan for me and the risks that it could involve. Some of it gives me comfort but most of the time my brain feels like it's going a trillion thoughts an hour.
I feel like if my family were ever to know even part of the work I am putting into this and my feeling of needing to die they would be terrified.
