Venting No one cares if you die when you're an unattractive woman

[goldenvirginia]

I don't like the title of this thread. Nobody cares when an unattractive man dies either. I can appreciate your plight but not when you act like it only effects women when thats just wrong.

She's expressing her thoughts and feelings and can title her thread however she chooses. If you don't like it, don't read it.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Unattractive men and women both go through a great deal of romantic failure and that makes both far less likely to put themselves out there since their perceptions of their own desirability get really warped. Personally, there was a girl that I came to like even though I couldn't tell myself that she was physically beautiful, but I had gotten to know her over a long period of time and she was a very charming and kind person. She ended up with a great guy and did so by being confident in herself and not giving up hope. On my end it hurt a lot to lose (again!) but I thought it was both instructive and inspiring.

Without physical attractiveness you can't quickly pull in possible mates but you sure can find people with whom you can build lasting relationships because their attraction to you won't be built on a shallow foundation. Maybe it goes that way but honestly I have yet to find any success.

This is spot on. I've seen people get left in the dust by their long-term partner because they lost their looks, all because that was the main selling point. Relationships like that are doomed to fail.

The truth is ugly people fuck, get bf/gf, and get married all the time. When you're struggling with mental health, it IS very easy to have your perceptions warped by rejection. Online dating ain't helping either. It's a lot harder to charm someone through a computer screen than irl.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

She's expressing her thoughts and feelings and can title her thread however she chooses. If you don't like it, don't read it.

So am I. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Also how the hell would anyone realize if they like or dislike something without reading it.

 

[lonerclown666]

When you are ugly society dont see you as a human being

 

[goldenvirginia]

So am I. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Also how the hell would anyone realize if they like or dislike something without reading it.

Because it was the title?

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Because it was the title?

Thats what I was addressing, genius.

 

[goldenvirginia]

Thats what I was addressing, genius.

Thats what I was addressing, genius.

"I don't like the title of this thread." Your words. Idiot.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

"I don't like the title of this thread." Your words. Idiot.

My point is I read the title, it was too late to decide whether or not I liked it. I was gonna address it.

Like I said, I appreciate the OP's plight. Perhaps I jumped the gun and misinterpretted it a bit. @angelhealing I didn't mean to misinterpret your intentions.

Now, as for you? If I see something and disagree with it, I'm going to say it. Regardless if whether you or anyone likes it or not, alright? I'm done with you.

 

[goldenvirginia]

My point is I read the title, it was too late to decide whether or not I liked it. I was gonna address it.

Like I said, I appreciate the OP's plight. Perhaps I jumped the gun and misinterpretted it a bit. @angelhealing I didn't mean to misinterpret your intentions.

Now, as for you? If I see something and disagree with it, I'm going to say it. Regardless if whether you or anyone likes it or not, alright? I'm done with you.

Lol…oh you're done with me are you? How kind of you.

 

[deleted]

as your beauty diminishes less people care about you, if you're fat, black, short, ugly, you're fucked up buddy, i guess i'm a little lucky to be invisible. I'm sorry for the way people treated you but no one here will judge you we're all in the same boat

 

[Fish Face]

The thing is I was really beautiful when young and never really attracted very good looking men. I think I just looked too depressed for anyone, probably why I tried so hard to be employed throughout my life. Misery does not really like company. Look at yourself, think about what you are, what you have to give, be proud of yourself and smile and if the cause of your sadness is your failure to sell yourself it is really up to you to change that. You can do it.

 

[Oblivion]

I don't like the title of this thread. Nobody cares when an unattractive man dies either. I can appreciate your plight but not when you act like it only effects women when thats just wrong.

I'm pretty sure you're the type of person who whenever hears "black lives matter" jump in and screams ALL LIVES MATTER. go open your own thread if you want, don't hijack this FFS.

 

[Noctis]

I'm not disagreeing and saying that looks aren't important, but happiness isn't solely based on looks.

I'm better than average looking, and I still hate myself and want to die. One of my friends is ugly and very overweight, yet remains happy and confident in himself.

If you want to die now, magically becoming gorgeous won't change much.

 

[Oblivion]

Very true, i see this all the time happening when a beautiful girl commits suicide, everyone would literally look at her and say WHY SHE WAS SO PRETTY, while ugly girls are not even talked about, same thing for men too

 

[Foresight]

You're definitely playing life on hard mode when you're ugly. Some people find peace with it and cultivate something else, and some people drown in all the complications that being ugly brings. I've lived in between those two for many years. Your mindset does matter. I've seen some ugly women in professional fields that are praised. You have to sink into another aspect of life. Daily life will be harder though. If you're ugly enough, much harder.

I'm more than ugly so I do understand. I'm a uniquely developed person though. I find people come to me for other reasons. For deeper insight, for less judgmental support, for more thoughtful ideas because I can't exist on a superficial level. I was dishonorably discharged from superficial life because of my ugliness. I needed to dig into something else. My husband loves my mind and personality. I got lucky.

 

[death137]

Sadly you are your looks. I as an ugly and short man understand well the pain unattractive ppl go through. Your looks is very important in life. Don't believe anyone who says otherwise.

 

[noaccount]

@angelhealing you're right about people going "therapy is the answer to everything" as a way to derail and refuse to think about real social/environmental shit that's happening to people - because then they'd have to consider their role in it, whether they're acting as allies, etc.
And like even women bosses are less likely to hire women who don't wear makeup it's fucked.
You deserve better.

@TooConscious I don't think the original post was about trying to find a romantic partner, it was about being treated badly in general. And we're not all heteros.

 

[Of The Universe]

As a Woman of Color, I have been spit on,pushed,slapped,had feces thrown on me,,been called names,told to go back to Africa and dogs biting me.

 

[grungeCat]

I read a post today that said people (even women) don't like talking to ugly women and see it as a waste of time. And it's true all my life I have been ignored, never had friends, people don't even say hi to me. At best, they pity me and talk to me like I'm a retarded child. As an ugly woman, I'll always be alone. I will never experience love, romance, sex, or friendship. Is this a life worth living?
And I'm sick of people telling me to go to therapy. I did therapy for years and even took antidepressants. But therapy and drugs cant help when your life objectively sucks. People like me need real friends who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you. Not a person who is paid to pretend to listen to you and fake sympathy for 45 minutes.
It's cruel to keep a person who is deprived of all things that make humans happy alive. Something that hurts me a lot is that no one will mourn my death. Usually, when a young woman dies everyone says she was beautiful and it was a waste for her to die. But in my case, everyone will be like meh nothing of value was lost. So, basically being ugly makes me worthless.

I think it applies to every ugly person... People often ascribe character traits such as stupidness, awkwardness, laziness to ugly people. I am ugly myself so I also went through various unpleasant experiences because of my uncomely apparence.

 

[noaccount]

As a Woman of Color, I have been spit on,pushed,slapped,had feces thrown on me,,been called names,told to go back to Africa and dogs biting me.

I am so sorry.

 

[Foresight]

I am so sorry.

Seriously. Those people are messed up. My heart goes out to you @MoonGoddess

 

[Ta555]

I don't think this is true in the extreme. For most people, their family will care, or friends. While I understand unattractiveness being a hurdle to finding romantic love, it doesn't stop people from forming friendships. If someone who considers themselves ugly doesn't have close or fulfilling friendships I don't think that 'ugliness' can be blamed here. There's probably social phobia, lack of confidence etc that can come from feeling like you are not attractive but I've never seen a friendship not work out or breakdown because someone was unattractive. I'm sure it happens but only with shitty people. I've made friends with all sorts of people over my life and their physical attractiveness never figured into my desire to spend time with them or not. Only whether I felt comfortable around them and whether we had interests in common, something to talk about etc.

 

[milly]

If you want to die now, magically becoming gorgeous won't change much.

Really?

 

[Sakura94]

This changes as you get older. Everyone loses their attractiveness as they age, so we all get on more of an equal footing as we get old.

True, but it would have been nice to have the experience mostly everyone else gets.

 

[Noctis]

Really?

I don't think so, but as always, individual results may vary.

 

[Conker]

At this point, even being handsome wouldn't be enough to keep me dreaming..

 

[Arot]

Yeah, you're right. People won't care about you because you're ugly... But I think you must consider that maybe you can make people care *after* you're dead. That's what I'm trying to accomplish. I'm writting something like a diary that I will release after I CTB. Idk how many pages I've written so far but it's quite a lot. The plan is to share it and spread it within my city and the internet. Maybe people will read it and know about my story and maybe they will care about me after I'm gone... or maybe not. Maybe you could do the same although in a much smaller scale if you don't want that kind of attetion.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I'm pretty sure you're the type of person who whenever hears "black lives matter" jump in and screams ALL LIVES MATTER. go open your own thread if you want, don't hijack this FFS.

No actually, I believe no lives matter. I already apologized.

 

[Messgram]

I don't think this is true in the extreme. For most people, their family will care, or friends. While I understand unattractiveness being a hurdle to finding romantic love, it doesn't stop people from forming friendships. If someone who considers themselves ugly doesn't have close or fulfilling friendships I don't think that 'ugliness' can be blamed here. There's probably social phobia, lack of confidence etc that can come from feeling like you are not attractive but I've never seen a friendship not work out or breakdown because someone was unattractive. I'm sure it happens but only with shitty people. I've made friends with all sorts of people over my life and their physical attractiveness never figured into my desire to spend time with them or not. Only whether I felt comfortable around them and whether we had interests in common, something to talk about etc.

Many couples break up because they don't like the way their partner looks, many people are rejected and made fun of purely because of their appearance, and I know many examples in my life. Obviously, if you have a lot of social and emotional intelligence you will be able to get over your ugliness, but when you're good-looking, people are naturally far more interested in you.

 

[Ta555]

Many couples break up because they don't like the way their partner looks, many people are rejected and made fun of purely because of their appearance, and I know many examples in my life. Obviously, if you have a lot of social and emotional intelligence you will be able to get over your ugliness, but when you're good-looking, people are naturally far more interested in you.

As I said, I know looks can be an impediment to finding romantic love. And bullies will be bullies. I was bullied for a specific part of my appearance when I was little. Bullies are obviously not trying to make friends with you. But if you find someone with similar interests and who you click with, what you look like doesn't matter.