Venting no one cared about my disappearance

[hyuk✮i]

i tried to kill myself almost a month and a half ago, so i wasn't online in my friend group for almost 3 weeks
today i went there and they just, didn't care, now even a "where you been" or anything like it, just a simple hi
when i did explain why i wasn't active i just got a "glad it didn't work" and now one of them is venting to me about her issues
maybe i'm just an attention seeker and i kind of excepted that but damn, i guess i can kill myself and they won't care at all, that's great technically

 

[PapaYeehaw]

You're not an attention seeker for that. Those sound like shitty friends who don't care about you, or maybe they just dont know how to handle it. Either way, it makes sense to want people to care when you're suicidal. I hope you can find friends that do.

 

[Hollowman]

I had something similar happen recently. It sucks.

 

[getoutgirl]

Hey. I haven't seen my friends in person for almost a year now. I disappeared and went offline for like 3-4 consecutive months planning my death. That failed too. That was May. When I poked my head out again and said "Hi" I got "Hi's", explained how bad I had been doing and they said "oh that sucks <3 u are ok now" and maybe 2 mins worth of text.
Then Nothing else since.

None of this is to one-up you or minimize your situation. On the contrary, only to say I relate, a Lot, and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucksssssssss to go through
so I feel you

you are not an attention seeker if you tried to kill yourself. That's the simplest way I could phrase that sentence but also the truest and you don't need to believe anything other than that.
I get where those feelings and thoughts come from, but there is little use in entertaining them cos they are simply not true even if a part of you tries to convince you of it. So sush that whenever you can.

Also, It is true that it has a paradoxical nature to it. Cos in a way that's exactly what you wanted. To log off and disappear as if you had never existed to them.
Then turns out you are still existing, just maybe not to them. Not as importantly. And that's a halfway shitty place to be in and feels as such. Because in the end we all want people to care for us, to feel loved. Specially when you are trying to recover or just came out of an attempt, that's when you need the most support to just get by. So this happening to you hits real hard now.
You deserve better people.
If anything take that, these people might make for good friends for talking or gaming or whatever you do with them, you can still do that if it brings you some joy here and there (you judge that) but they are not there for you for the real stuff or care deeply. And that's not a fault of yours, something that's not in you. That's on them. Entirely.

I don't know how much support you are getting right now, I hope enough or that at least it starts flowing to you. If you found this place and its helping you that way, I'm happy for it. Please vent or talk or anything with people that do genuinely care. I can tell from experience people here do, but also out there.
Take it easy these days and know maybe those people are not worth relying on for any of this.
lots of hugs <333

 

[hyuk✮i]

You're not an attention seeker for that. Those sound like shitty friends who don't care about you, or maybe they just dont know how to handle it. Either way, it makes sense to want people to care when you're suicidal. I hope you can find friends that d

Hey. I haven't seen my friends in person for almost a year now. I disappeared and went offline for like 3-4 consecutive months planning my death. That failed too. That was May. When I poked my head out again and said "Hi" I got "Hi's", explained how bad I had been doing and they said "oh that sucks <3 u are ok now" and maybe 2 mins worth of text.
Then Nothing else since.

None of this is to one-up you or minimize your situation. On the contrary, only to say I relate, a Lot, and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucksssssssss to go through
so I feel you

you are not an attention seeker if you tried to kill yourself. That's the simplest way I could phrase that sentence but also the truest and you don't need to believe anything other than that.
I get where those feelings and thoughts come from, but there is little use in entertaining them cos they are simply not true even if a part of you tries to convince you of it. So sush that whenever you can.

Also, It is true that it has a paradoxical nature to it. Cos in a way that's exactly what you wanted. To log off and disappear as if you had never existed to them.
Then turns out you are still existing, just maybe not to them. Not as importantly. And that's a halfway shitty place to be in and feels as such. Because in the end we all want people to care for us, to feel loved. Specially when you are trying to recover or just came out of an attempt, that's when you need the most support to just get by. So this happening to you hits real hard now.
You deserve better people.
If anything take that, these people might make for good friends for talking or gaming or whatever you do with them, you can still do that if it brings you some joy here and there (you judge that) but they are not there for you for the real stuff or care deeply. And that's not a fault of yours, something that's not in you. That's on them. Entirely.

I don't know how much support you are getting right now, I hope enough or that at least it starts flowing to you. If you found this place and its helping you that way, I'm happy for it. Please vent or talk or anything with people that do genuinely care. I can tell from experience people here do, but also out there.
Take it easy these days and know maybe those people are not worth relying on for any of this.
lots of hugs <333

i appreciate your comment first of all, second yeah they are probably not the best for this type of stuff but i won't dip them cause they are the only people that i talk to
i have my partner's support which is better than none