Help No matter what method I try of losing weight, I always gain it all back

[Nemiza]

I am so done and so tired of being chubby all my life, I am jealous of others who effortlessly have normal/skinny bodies and it is just unbearable at this point. Two years back for the summer I had successfully done the military diet except for the last meal i had whatever i wanted. I went from 62kg to 56kg. I felt amazing, I wasn't that chubby anymore. I looked good in clothes. But then towards the end of the year I managed to get to 51kg by reducing my food intake even more, which is basically underweight for my height. The thing is, being that weight made me super happy, confident, I adored shopping and trying on new clothes, going out.

But then in the January of last year I started slowly to binge eat, again and again, it went from once a week to every. single. day. I was so scared that I would lose the body that I was so proud of. I didn't care that I lost my period for 4 months, it did not matter to me at all. I binged so much that I gained 15 kg within 6 months, even though i tried to walk a lot, sometimes work out to slow it down. I binged until I cried of physical pain every single time, I felt like my insides were going to explode. It was a nightmare. By the end of the summer I had 70kg trying to eat normally. It confused me why I was gaining weight when I was eating identically to how i remember eating when my maintenance weight was 62kg???

I got sent to a mental hospital in August, lost 3-4 kg, came out with 66kg, lost another two kilos out of the hospital. But then my mom triggered me into binge eating again. She insults me all of the time, calls me too fat, she doesn't care what I'm going through, she would mention the stretch marks i got everywhere and how ugly they are when she made me begin my emotional binges by calling me too skinny and ugly. I then gained 6kg, though my binges were not even as bad as they were in the start so it was confusing how i had gained so quickly. I'd binge on a box of chocolate cookies or a large chocolate bar or so, and then also eat for the rest of the day. I do admit my portions were kind of large.

Now it's January, one year apart and I stand around 71kg. I was eating less food and more dietary stuff for December yet I hadn't really managed to lose weight and it upset me as i was eating less than i was before the military diet. I went on holiday to another country to spend time with my dad but i could not control myself here, I did not have dietary foods and there were too many foods that triggered binges here. I went up in weight a bit. Past few days, I am still on holiday and I've tried the OMAD diet, though i feel like i failed it cause on the first day i was angry at my family(that i live with) because they kept on accusing me of eating all of food, a lot of food that I had not eaten/tried at all. Kept on calling me fat even though i kept on telling them for 2 years that I am uncomfortable and it makes me upset to comment about my weight, yet they still make fun of me. I went on okay for two days with the OMAD, then yesterday I had again been triggered into breaking the OMAD, binged. Today I tried to fast but I failed and overate.

I feel like I will never get back to the body I was comfortable in and adored. I have so many stretch marks and I am just gaining weight, eating normally doesn't help either. I want it to stop. I am uncomfortable with going to the gym or going outside even at this point, as well as being seen. Yet I always get triggered into breaking a diet. I want to lose weight so bad but I can't. I don't want to live like this anymore and I do not see myself being alive for much longer if I continue to put on weight or if i don't lose it. Please help.

For reference I am 167cm 71kg, and have about 26% body fat, likely more now cause i haven't measured my body fat in a while. I just want to lose weight and fit into my old clothes again. I do not want this weight at all and no I WILL not accept myself at this weight. I just want to lose weight quickly without having to go out and exercise, as well as find a way to not binge/break fasts out of anger. I used to weigh 62kg eating whatever I wanted, yet now I'm about 10 kilos higher and cannot. Please, I need advice!

Sorry for writing all of this but thank you for reading!

 

[pole]

I am also in a similar situation.

my binge eating is…. bad. I cannot begin to describe just how destructive it has been. I will eat and eat and eat and eat, never reaching that "full" feeling people get, and instead will eat until I feel sick. then comes the depressive thoughts and shitty feelings afterwards.

it took me a while to get to a point where I wanted to lose weight and try my best to curb my binge eating patterns. health problems and seeing my old photos made me at least try again.

for people like me and you, it requires mental strength and extreme discipline. I did not have that at all and it's hard to invoke any of that when you're also depressed.

the only thing that has worked to address my binge eating and weight loss is OMAD. sticking to a strict fasting window and limited time to eat. for me, I do 23/1 or 22/2. so 23 or 22 hours fasting, 1 or 2 hours eating window. it has helped curb my snacking and me also eating large meals.

I also began to drink dark coffee when I wake up and that has helped me get through the day until my fast ends. It helps kill my hunger and desire to eat.

we have similar measurements but I was about 67.13 kg in July. now, I am 60.24 kg. i don't know if that's a lot for you, but it is for me. I want to get to about 54 kg, but I am happy so far. I also did this without working out and going to the gym. strictly fixing what I eat and fasting.

it is hard and I'm not perfect still. I will slip up here and there and binge eat and have a big meal. but, that's okay. it makes me want to get right back into fasting. we're only human right? so I think it's okay for me to have one cheat day per month so I can satisfy my cravings.

I hope this can be helpful to you since I was in a similar situation to you and still am.

 

[Nemiza]

I am also in a similar situation.

my binge eating is…. bad. I cannot begin to describe just how destructive it has been. I will eat and eat and eat and eat, never reaching that "full" feeling people get, and instead will eat until I feel sick. then comes the depressive thoughts and shitty feelings afterwards.

it took me a while to get to a point where I wanted to lose weight and try my best to curb my binge eating patterns. health problems and seeing my old photos made me at least try again.

for people like me and you, it requires mental strength and extreme discipline. I did not have that at all and it's hard to invoke any of that when you're also depressed.

the only thing that has worked to address my binge eating and weight loss is OMAD. sticking to a strict fasting window and limited time to eat. for me, I do 23/1 or 22/2. so 23 or 22 hours fasting, 1 or 2 hours eating window. it has helped curb my snacking and me also eating large meals.

I also began to drink dark coffee when I wake up and that has helped me get through the day until my fast ends. It helps kill my hunger and desire to eat.

we have similar measurements but I was about 67.13 kg in July. now, I am 60.24 kg. i don't know if that's a lot for you, but it is for me. I want to get to about 54 kg, but I am happy so far. I also did this without working out and going to the gym. strictly fixing what I eat and fasting.

it is hard and I'm not perfect still. I will slip up here and there and binge eat and have a big meal. but, that's okay. it makes me want to get right back into fasting. we're only human right? so I think it's okay for me to have one cheat day per month so I can satisfy my cravings.

I hope this can be helpful to you since I was in a similar situation to you and still am.

Thank you so so much for the reply, I will try to stick to OMAD and try to find other ways to take out my anger, hearing about your story progress with OMAD gives me a lot of hope. I will try to stick to 23/1 and sometimes maybe 22/2. I guess just because I slipped up yesterday does not mean that I need to give up. I am extremely thankful for your reply that I cannot put it into words but you gave me some hope. This reply from you is really helpful! Binge eating is a living hell but I hope that we both manage to overcome it eventually.

I wish you lots of luck on your battle with binge eating and depression and I really do hope you manage to reach your goal weight!

 

[Groundhog_Day]

I also struggled with various diets until last year. Finally I found something that works for me, and required very little willpower from me.

Firstly, I completely abstained from processed food and carbs(except fruit). I went from 82kg to 62kg(182cm), and have maintained it with little to no willpower.

We are all unique and, my diet might seem crazy, and not work for many people though. What I eat is:

Breakfast
-2 or 3 bananas
-25g of 85% dark chocolate
-large decaff black coffee

Lunch 3-4 hours later
-6 eggs (sometimes fish or tofu)
-half iceberg lettuce
-400g of 60%+ cabbage coleslaw(my one minimally processed food as I am too lazy to make coleslaw)
-some grated cheese.
-1 large apple with tablespoon of 100% peanut butter.

All eaten inside 5 HR period, so 19 hours fasting.

I am 6ft man, but very low muscle due to Marfan syndrome. As you are shorter, you might need say just 2 bananas, and maybe 4 or 5 eggs etc.

I lost a lot of weight, improved my gut health, and have much less inflammation on my skin, following this diet.

Hopefully, it can help someone else. The one thing I would recommend to anyone is cutting out processed foods and carbs except for fruit.

 

[pole]

Thank you so so much for the reply, I will try to stick to OMAD and try to find other ways to take out my anger, hearing about your story progress with OMAD gives me a lot of hope. I will try to stick to 23/1 and sometimes maybe 22/2. I guess just because I slipped up yesterday does not mean that I need to give up. I am extremely thankful for your reply that I cannot put it into words but you gave me some hope. This reply from you is really helpful! Binge eating is a living hell but I hope that we both manage to overcome it eventually.

I wish you lots of luck on your battle with binge eating and depression and I really do hope you manage to reach your goal weight!

I always felt that desire to give up after caving in and binge eating. it almost traps you in and doesn't let you go. and then the cycle starts yet again and you're paralyzed.

that feeling got weaker though when I started fasting. I think it's because I felt more in control of the binging when I started OMAD and also, when I felt that shitty feeling after caving in and eating a lot, I would feel the need to fast immediately and burn it ASAP because I felt disgusted. so I think starting OMAD helped me get out of that self-hating cycle quicker when I do binge.

and again, it's okay that you slipped up. from reading your thoughts, I think you're stronger than you know. to me, I feel like you're doing good so far by at least recognizing you want to stop this and fight it. now, you have somewhat of a plan and it's about sticking to it, but your urge to want to try is a great thing, and I'm happy for you!

also to reiterate, every now and then (once a month for me) is fine because I also do need to satisfy my cravings. so yesterday, treat that as a one-off. over time, after you begin to do OMAD, when you have those days, you'll be eager to burn it right off and get back to fasting instead of self-loathing and hating yourself.

eating lots of different nuts and fruits during my eating window also helped and made me full. also, making sure your 23/1 and 22/2 is at a good time and aligns with your schedule. for me, starting at 4 PM is best for me because I sleep around 8 PM, wake up around 8 AM, then drink black coffee, and am relatively fine and can wait until my fast ends. so finding what times work for you is big.

I'm glad that my response can be of help. again, you're not alone. I hope you can update us underneath this thread along the way. I'm sure others, including myself, will want to know about your progress and I hope the next time you make a comment, that you've made significant strides and see great results!

good luck, you're going to kill it.

 

[Nemiza]

I also struggled with various diets until last year. Finally I found something that works for me, and required very little willpower from me.

Firstly, I completely abstained from processed food and carbs(except fruit). I went from 82kg to 62kg(182cm), and have maintained it with little to no willpower.

We are all unique and, my diet might seem crazy, and not work for many people though. What I eat is:

Breakfast
-2 or 3 bananas
-25g of 85% dark chocolate
-large decaff black coffee

Lunch 3-4 hours later
-6 eggs (sometimes fish or tofu)
-half iceberg lettuce
-400g of 60%+ cabbage coleslaw(my one minimally processed food as I am too lazy to make coleslaw)
-some grated cheese.
-1 large apple with tablespoon of 100% peanut butter.

All eaten inside 5 HR period, so 19 hours fasting.

I am 6ft man, but very low muscle due to Marfan syndrome. As you are shorter, you might need say just 2 bananas, and maybe 4 or 5 eggs etc.

I lost a lot of weight, improved my gut health, and have much less inflammation on my skin, following this diet.

Hopefully, it can help someone else. The one thing I would recommend to anyone is cutting out processed foods and carbs except for fruit.

I will keep note of this diet plan just incase the OMAD does not work out for me. Thank you lots for this diet plan, sounds very filling too and healthy! So maybe when I get enough discipline I can take a go at this! I am glad that you have made it far in your weight loss journey and that you've also managed to maintain it! I will most definitely try to cut out processed foods and carbs as that may also help get rid of the more unhealthy cravings. Tomorrow I will attempt an OMAD without processed foods and carbs!

Thank you again and I shall most definitely keep your response in mind! Especially the cutting out processed foods and carbs out! I'll also try to eliminate my coke zero addiction!

I always felt that desire to give up after caving in and binge eating. it almost traps you in and doesn't let you go. and then the cycle starts yet again and you're paralyzed.

that feeling got weaker though when I started fasting. I think it's because I felt more in control of the binging when I started OMAD and also, when I felt that shitty feeling after caving in and eating a lot, I would feel the need to fast immediately and burn it ASAP because I felt disgusted. so I think starting OMAD helped me get out of that self-hating cycle quicker when I do binge.

and again, it's okay that you slipped up. from reading your thoughts, I think you're stronger than you know. to me, I feel like you're doing good so far by at least recognizing you want to stop this and fight it. now, you have somewhat of a plan and it's about sticking to it, but your urge to want to try is a great thing, and I'm happy for you!

also to reiterate, every now and then (once a month for me) is fine because I also do need to satisfy my cravings. so yesterday, treat that as a one-off. over time, after you begin to do OMAD, when you have those days, you'll be eager to burn it right off and get back to fasting instead of self-loathing and hating yourself.

eating lots of different nuts and fruits during my eating window also helped and made me full. also, making sure your 23/1 and 22/2 is at a good time and aligns with your schedule. for me, starting at 4 PM is best for me because I sleep around 8 PM, wake up around 8 AM, then drink black coffee, and am relatively fine and can wait until my fast ends. so finding what times work for you is big.

I'm glad that my response can be of help. again, you're not alone. I hope you can update us underneath this thread along the way. I'm sure others, including myself, will want to know about your progress and I hope the next time you make a comment, that you've made significant strides and see great results!

good luck, you're going to kill it.

I will most definitely try to do my best so that I could at least leave updates that may give other people hope just like stories like yours have given hope to other people to keep trying! I guess it is a great source of motivation! I doubt I would be able to drink black coffee but I may find an alternative, maybe green tea would help? My schedule varies depending on the day so I will figure out what eating/fasting schedule would suit my lifestyle the best.

Thank you lots again! And I hope to hear of your progress in the future as well!

 

[Little_Suzy]

I am so done and so tired of being chubby all my life, I am jealous of others who effortlessly have normal/skinny bodies and it is just unbearable at this point. Two years back for the summer I had successfully done the military diet except for the last meal i had whatever i wanted. I went from 62kg to 56kg. I felt amazing, I wasn't that chubby anymore. I looked good in clothes. But then towards the end of the year I managed to get to 51kg by reducing my food intake even more, which is basically underweight for my height. The thing is, being that weight made me super happy, confident, I adored shopping and trying on new clothes, going out.

But then in the January of last year I started slowly to binge eat, again and again, it went from once a week to every. single. day. I was so scared that I would lose the body that I was so proud of. I didn't care that I lost my period for 4 months, it did not matter to me at all. I binged so much that I gained 15 kg within 6 months, even though i tried to walk a lot, sometimes work out to slow it down. I binged until I cried of physical pain every single time, I felt like my insides were going to explode. It was a nightmare. By the end of the summer I had 70kg trying to eat normally. It confused me why I was gaining weight when I was eating identically to how i remember eating when my maintenance weight was 62kg???

I got sent to a mental hospital in August, lost 3-4 kg, came out with 66kg, lost another two kilos out of the hospital. But then my mom triggered me into binge eating again. She insults me all of the time, calls me too fat, she doesn't care what I'm going through, she would mention the stretch marks i got everywhere and how ugly they are when she made me begin my emotional binges by calling me too skinny and ugly. I then gained 6kg, though my binges were not even as bad as they were in the start so it was confusing how i had gained so quickly. I'd binge on a box of chocolate cookies or a large chocolate bar or so, and then also eat for the rest of the day. I do admit my portions were kind of large.

Now it's January, one year apart and I stand around 71kg. I was eating less food and more dietary stuff for December yet I hadn't really managed to lose weight and it upset me as i was eating less than i was before the military diet. I went on holiday to another country to spend time with my dad but i could not control myself here, I did not have dietary foods and there were too many foods that triggered binges here. I went up in weight a bit. Past few days, I am still on holiday and I've tried the OMAD diet, though i feel like i failed it cause on the first day i was angry at my family(that i live with) because they kept on accusing me of eating all of food, a lot of food that I had not eaten/tried at all. Kept on calling me fat even though i kept on telling them for 2 years that I am uncomfortable and it makes me upset to comment about my weight, yet they still make fun of me. I went on okay for two days with the OMAD, then yesterday I had again been triggered into breaking the OMAD, binged. Today I tried to fast but I failed and overate.

I feel like I will never get back to the body I was comfortable in and adored. I have so many stretch marks and I am just gaining weight, eating normally doesn't help either. I want it to stop. I am uncomfortable with going to the gym or going outside even at this point, as well as being seen. Yet I always get triggered into breaking a diet. I want to lose weight so bad but I can't. I don't want to live like this anymore and I do not see myself being alive for much longer if I continue to put on weight or if i don't lose it. Please help.

For reference I am 167cm 71kg, and have about 26% body fat, likely more now cause i haven't measured my body fat in a while. I just want to lose weight and fit into my old clothes again. I do not want this weight at all and no I WILL not accept myself at this weight. I just want to lose weight quickly without having to go out and exercise, as well as find a way to not binge/break fasts out of anger. I used to weigh 62kg eating whatever I wanted, yet now I'm about 10 kilos higher and cannot. Please, I need advice!

Sorry for writing all of this but thank you for reading!

Hi, welcome!

For discussions like these, you can post in SaSu's ED megathread. Being afflicted with ED myself, I believe it's critical that "safe foods," asking how to lose weight quickly, "hate being fat" comments, weight checks, diets, and so on stay in the megathread.

Eating Disorders Support Megathread

This is a Megathread where members who struggle with an eating disorder can post their experiences, vent, connect with others in a similar situation and give/receive support. You can post as often or as infrequently as you like. Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. This...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Groundhog_Day]

I will keep note of this diet plan just incase the OMAD does not work out for me. Thank you lots for this diet plan, sounds very filling too and healthy! I will most definitely try to cut out processed foods and carbs as that may also help get rid of the more unhealthy cravings.

You're welcome. It's probably a weird diet, but I think the cabbage in coleslaw has helped my gut health a lot.

Also, you are right about cravings being almost non existent if you cut out processed food and carbs(except fruit). I compare dieting whilst still eating bad food, to playing a video game on the legendary difficulty setting. Following my diet, has been like playing on super easy mode, for me so far.

Also, as boring as it sounds, I focus on succeeding moment by moment, day by day. Every time I'm eating fruit instead of chocolate etc. is success.

I found this better than obsessing over reaching my goal weight, and through experience I realised that reaching your goal weight does not equal euphoric happiness for the rest of your life. By just succeeding in the moment, means it is instantly achievable, and not some distant aim that you have to suffer towards. Feel good and suceed in the moment (that's all we ever truly have).

 

[Nemiza]

I always felt that desire to give up after caving in and binge eating. it almost traps you in and doesn't let you go. and then the cycle starts yet again and you're paralyzed.

that feeling got weaker though when I started fasting. I think it's because I felt more in control of the binging when I started OMAD and also, when I felt that shitty feeling after caving in and eating a lot, I would feel the need to fast immediately and burn it ASAP because I felt disgusted. so I think starting OMAD helped me get out of that self-hating cycle quicker when I do binge.

and again, it's okay that you slipped up. from reading your thoughts, I think you're stronger than you know. to me, I feel like you're doing good so far by at least recognizing you want to stop this and fight it. now, you have somewhat of a plan and it's about sticking to it, but your urge to want to try is a great thing, and I'm happy for you!

also to reiterate, every now and then (once a month for me) is fine because I also do need to satisfy my cravings. so yesterday, treat that as a one-off. over time, after you begin to do OMAD, when you have those days, you'll be eager to burn it right off and get back to fasting instead of self-loathing and hating yourself.

eating lots of different nuts and fruits during my eating window also helped and made me full. also, making sure your 23/1 and 22/2 is at a good time and aligns with your schedule. for me, starting at 4 PM is best for me because I sleep around 8 PM, wake up around 8 AM, then drink black coffee, and am relatively fine and can wait until my fast ends. so finding what times work for you is big.

I'm glad that my response can be of help. again, you're not alone. I hope you can update us underneath this thread along the way. I'm sure others, including myself, will want to know about your progress and I hope the next time you make a comment, that you've made significant strides and see great results!

good luck, you're going to kill it.

I have managed to lose over 10 kilos(22+ pounds) in 2 months through ADF so far and I'm pretty pleased with my progress. I have been doing Adf for almost two months and it has worked wonderfully for me and now i feel like i actually have some degree control over myself so it's great. Just that I'm still not as thin as I used to be but I'm much, much closer to it now.

You're welcome. It's probably a weird diet, but I think the cabbage in coleslaw has helped my gut health a lot.

Also, you are right about cravings being almost non existent if you cut out processed food and carbs(except fruit). I compare dieting whilst still eating bad food, to playing a video game on the legendary difficulty setting. Following my diet, has been like playing on super easy mode, for me so far.

Also, as boring as it sounds, I focus on succeeding moment by moment, day by day. Every time I'm eating fruit instead of chocolate etc. is success.

I found this better than obsessing over reaching my goal weight, and through experience I realised that reaching your goal weight does not equal euphoric happiness for the rest of your life. By just succeeding in the moment, means it is instantly achievable, and not some distant aim that you have to suffer towards. Feel good and suceed in the moment (that's all we ever truly have).

Cutting out processed foods has honestly helped a ton, especially during ADF, which is what i chose, I fast one day, eat the other. I basically just eat higher protein foods and not processed foods and I feel much better and shed pounds quicker than if i do not. Lost over 10kg/22 pounds in less than 2 months and im happy with the progress, i can fit into my old clothes again so it's great, yet i still have some kilos left to lose.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I did a personal training course and nutritionist course in my early 20s.

I presume you a female? If not this still applies. Whatever diet advice you get and try to follow it's all moot if your mind isn't good.

I'm 6ft2 (guy) but I was skinny. Eat a lot can't put on weight type of thing. Autism made me obsessed with diet, training, etc. At 33 I got in the best shape of my life and had a perfect diet however and this is a big however - I was in Spain so sunshine everyday, I was training to be a golfer so demands were only to do well in it and I had the funds to do it. I was still depressed but it was nothing like London. Now I'm skinny again.

If you go down the route of counting calories, taking measurements of arms, thighs, waist, etc, weighing yourself very often, etc it will lead to issues and destroying your brain.

Make the shit really really simple. So for me I couldn't put on weight so I got a blender and in the morning I did whole milk, banana, a lot of oats (just put it a lot), any fruits for taste, and peanut butter. The drink was probably about 900-1100 calories but I could tell it worked because I felt full for about 6 hours even with walking 5/6 miles on the course and swinging a club at over 90mph.
So do a similar thing. Weight gain is generally too many carbs. That's NOT to say you cut them out completely. They are the building blocks of your cells. No carbs = no progress.
Carbs = bread, pasta, processed shit, etc
Proteins = milk, fish, meat, etc.
Fats = olive oil, etc.

If you want to weigh yourself do it once a week (maybe a Sunday) and do it in the morning after you have gone to the toilet. Because if you weigh yourself in the evening you have food and water in you = more weight but it'll be digested and used by your body. Again it's not a race. I used to go to the gym a lot and my transformation took 3 months (but that's golf 5 times a week, gym 4 times a week and good diet).

No calendars or counting calories. If you weigh yourself 3 weeks in a row and it's up it means too many calories in and not enough out. I'm suggesting this as I'm autistic and OCD driven so I like stats and numbers. I only noted down what general foods I needed in a day to keep me ok.

If you are stressed and bad situation then you'll produce cortisol and this will ruin any diet, muscle, etc. It's more important than exercise and diet combined. Stress = not happening.

Sorry this is a bit all over the place but I tend to spit out information. If you want help let me know. Just keep it simple.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

I have binge eating disorder as well and Wegovy has been a godsend for me. It completely suppresses the urges and makes it so that I can only eat small portions at a time. No dieting, counting calories/carbs, or exercise required. There are other similar meds like Saxenda and Zepbound as well. I'm not sure which country you're from and if these are available there but I definitely recommend giving them a try if so.