No depression and still suicidal thoughts?

[Minsu]

How common is it? Are any of you guys suicidal despite the fact that you're not depressed?

 

[Moroze]

Honestly, my emotional state changes very fast. In the past, I used to be actively suicidal, without feeling depressed. Now most of the days I just feel apathetic and lethargic.

 

[Minsu]

Honestly, my emotional state changes very fast. In the past, I used to be actively suicidal, without feeling depressed. Now most of the days I just feel apathetic and lethargic.

Same here. I'm actually not depressed, but I still realize that I've made a few big mistakes in my life so ctbing is the way to go

 

[Moroze]

Same here. I'm actually not depressed, but I still realize that I've made a few big mistakes in my life so ctbing is the way to go

Guilt is horrible. I have done terrible things in my life too. Still, I'm sticking around for now. If I could give some words of advice, I would say that sometimes even sticking around for the little things, not only for the big things, can bring even a tiny bit of relief. Waking up and making some hot chocolate, making a person smile. Sometimes living for the small things is what makes a difference.

 

[illvoid]

This resonates with me. Ive struggled with both depression and suicidal thoughts. I very rarely feel "depressed" anymore but suicide is always an option in the back of my mind. No psych "professional" I've spoken to about it has ever understood this concept. They feel very very separate and I can easily identify one over the other. When suicidal ideation comes to the forefront of my mind, I obsess over it. I have never obsessed over my depression. I sit around and wait for it to go away, and it usually passes after some time. My suicidality has always seemed to be influenced by external factors, whereas depression is just a state of mind.

 

[HAL 9000]

I'm the happiest I've ever been and I want to ctb even moreso because of it. Things are steadily improving for me, yet I feel a vacancy in my existence that nothing can fill. I'm able to accurately pick a part how each week essentially parrots the previous one. New experiences don't elicit the same amount of excitement as they used to. For example, I followed Oppenheimer since it was announced (huge Peaky Blinders fan) and since I've seen it twice I haven't given it much thought after doing independent research into The Atom/Hydrogen/Tsar Bombs.

 

[pidgey]

I am okay with the life I currently have but I want to ctb before things start getting worse. I feel like I have already exhausted all the good things in life and there's nothing left for me that is attainable.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i've not really felt depressed. never been diagnosed with any mental disorder. certainly, i have grieved. most recently over the passing of my dog of 16 years. my health was deteriorating before that (physically) so i wanted to pass and would wonder how much longer my dog would live and at times it really concerned me so i could not die because there would be nobody to take care of her. saw a movie the other day called 'my heart puppy' or meongmongi. getting back to the topic, when your mobility gets taken away, for example, it could be raining/snowing/hot as shit and you need to sit down for a few minutes after walking half of a short block, yeah, that'd do it.

 

[F Sea]

Hello. I think too there's no need to be depressed. If you are certain that you will not continue, with your reasons and the decision made, you can continue thinking about it with serenity.

 

[Takamagahara]

My decision to CTB is connected to circumstantial factors that are extremely unlikely to change. I wouldn't call myself depressed any more than I would call someone stuck in a wheelchair depressed--isn't sadness, isolation, and suicidal ideation a logical response to those circumstances?

So, no, I don't have so-called "clinical depression". Still gonna CTB some time this month.

 

[ReversedNthTerm]

How common is it? Are any of you guys suicidal despite the fact that you're not depressed?

YES

 

[Blackpearl]

Me too

 

[Stormy Raine]

I simply don't want to live! I can tell you 1000 reasons why. I'm not necessarily depressed just tired of the same everyday routine and haunted by so many bad memories. So yes it's possible

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't think that someone necessarily needs to be depressed to be suicidal. I wouldn't say that I'm really depressed now but still I think about CTB and have the intention to do it when the time is there. It'll be a rational decision here because things probably not gonna change they way I want them to be.