vivia
(ā āæā ^ā āæā ^ā )
- May 13, 2025
- 99
sometimes it just feels weird, ykwim, always thinking about yourself while the world and the people around us are way more messed up than you are. but then i'm like, "isn't it our right to look out for ourselves?" and at the same time i feel like such a selfish asshole, a burden, whatever. i suck at paying attention to people, keeping friendships or relationships running smooth 24/7. in the end i catch myself thinking again, "why the fuck keep worrying about other people? what's the point in stressing about stuff you can't control." it just goes on like this till i die, damn, i'm tired, i don't even know what to do anymore. life's just for being trash. please, someone wanna send an m9 beretta to my address? lol
and i'm always drowning in nostalgia. too many good things, good chances, whatever it was, that i've wasted up till now. i'm selfish, i don't think about the fact that what i've got won't be with me forever. i keep blowing it, and now i can't even imagine what i could achieve in the future because i'm stuck in regrets over everything i've messed up in the past. i'm exhausted... i don't know what to do. i always say, "let the wind carry me," but that's dumb. every time i say that it makes me feel like i've got no backbone in my own life. i've got no ideas, no goals, nothing that could turn me into a better person. i'm tired of gaslighting myself that everything's gonna be okay. the more time goes by, the more everything falls apart. lately i've been thinking of just stopping. before everything breaks even more. before more regrets pile up and i end up whining like some selfish idiot playing the victim. sorry, everyone
and i'm always drowning in nostalgia. too many good things, good chances, whatever it was, that i've wasted up till now. i'm selfish, i don't think about the fact that what i've got won't be with me forever. i keep blowing it, and now i can't even imagine what i could achieve in the future because i'm stuck in regrets over everything i've messed up in the past. i'm exhausted... i don't know what to do. i always say, "let the wind carry me," but that's dumb. every time i say that it makes me feel like i've got no backbone in my own life. i've got no ideas, no goals, nothing that could turn me into a better person. i'm tired of gaslighting myself that everything's gonna be okay. the more time goes by, the more everything falls apart. lately i've been thinking of just stopping. before everything breaks even more. before more regrets pile up and i end up whining like some selfish idiot playing the victim. sorry, everyone
