RosebyAnyName
Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
- Nov 9, 2023
- 258
I'm just slipping so bad I don't even know what to do. I've tried to heal: worked on my hobbies, made a friend, starting exercising and eating better, getting therapy, but it's all gone again, just like always.
I asked my friend out (I'm a lesbian), she said no. We talked for a bit afterwards, but now she hasn't reached out again. I wish I just didn't say anything so we could have kept being friends, I would have been perfectly fine with that.
I can't concentrate at work at all. I work from home but I just doomscroll and watch videos on my personal computer all day instead of working. This will be the fourth week in a row that I'll be faking my end-of-week production reports.
I can't concentrate on anything I enjoy anymore, and I don't have any energy to work out. Therapy hasn't been productive, I've been through three therapists in the past couple years and haven't seemed to make any progress.
My parents didn't grant me much autonomy growing up. I used to want to move out and be my own independent person so badly so I could live the life I wanted instead of being coddled and restricted. I couldn't afford to move out, so I kept saving in the hopes that I could move out eventually and then my life could finally start.
Well, now I can't even force myself to care anymore. I'm so exhausted with life that I want to be a NEET. Why work, socialize, take care of yourself, do therapy, or do anything when it never amounts to anything anyways? Why prepare yourself for a better life when that better life is always out of reach? I'm at the point where, even with enough money, I don't think I can move out because I won't be able to handle it. I have no coping skills, no executive function, no motivation, and no life even despite my best efforts.
I asked my friend out (I'm a lesbian), she said no. We talked for a bit afterwards, but now she hasn't reached out again. I wish I just didn't say anything so we could have kept being friends, I would have been perfectly fine with that.
I can't concentrate at work at all. I work from home but I just doomscroll and watch videos on my personal computer all day instead of working. This will be the fourth week in a row that I'll be faking my end-of-week production reports.
I can't concentrate on anything I enjoy anymore, and I don't have any energy to work out. Therapy hasn't been productive, I've been through three therapists in the past couple years and haven't seemed to make any progress.
My parents didn't grant me much autonomy growing up. I used to want to move out and be my own independent person so badly so I could live the life I wanted instead of being coddled and restricted. I couldn't afford to move out, so I kept saving in the hopes that I could move out eventually and then my life could finally start.
Well, now I can't even force myself to care anymore. I'm so exhausted with life that I want to be a NEET. Why work, socialize, take care of yourself, do therapy, or do anything when it never amounts to anything anyways? Why prepare yourself for a better life when that better life is always out of reach? I'm at the point where, even with enough money, I don't think I can move out because I won't be able to handle it. I have no coping skills, no executive function, no motivation, and no life even despite my best efforts.
