No choice but to return here after all.

[LastLoveLetter]

Ha. That respite was brief, wasn't it?

There are limitations to the medicine I'm taking. Don't get me wrong, it's excellent, but it can only help so much, before my body crumbles apart again. It is deteriorating less than it would be in the absence of treatment, but still deteriorating nevertheless. It is harrowing, truly haunting, to witness and feel the intensity of my symptoms increase, and being truly helpless to do anything to stop it.

The bottom line is that I cannot navigate life alone. I can never be 100% independent - my conditions make this impossible. I will always be reliant on support, and when that is taken away, I fall apart piece by piece. Each day is becoming progressively more difficult, more exhausting, more painful. It was subtle at first, a reminder that I can never be healed, only try to find ways of managing. Then it got worse. And worse. And now management looks like a fairytale, a dream.

I don't know if there's a way out of it this time.

Still, that glimmer of a nearly normal life was wonderful while it lasted. But my life was never built to last.

 

[Dead Meat]

I'm so sorry @LastLoveLetter my heart goes out to you, I wish you Lot's of Love and many Beautiful Blessings your way.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is horrifying how the human body can torture people to such great extents, this life really is just so cruel and it must be tiring having to suffer so extremely. It seems as though in this life often if there is any kind of relief, it will just get taken away and will lead to even more pain.
I wish you the best.

 

[dustyfurcollector]

Ha. That respite was brief, wasn't it?

There are limitations to the medicine I'm taking. Don't get me wrong, it's excellent, but it can only help so much, before my body crumbles apart again. It is deteriorating less than it would be in the absence of treatment, but still deteriorating nevertheless. It is harrowing, truly haunting, to witness and feel the intensity of my symptoms increase, and being truly helpless to do anything to stop it.

The bottom line is that I cannot navigate life alone. I can never be 100% independent - my conditions make this impossible. I will always be reliant on support, and when that is taken away, I fall apart piece by piece. Each day is becoming progressively more difficult, more exhausting, more painful. It was subtle at first, a reminder that I can never be healed, only try to find ways of managing. Then it got worse. And worse. And now management looks like a fairytale, a dream.

I don't know if there's a way out of it this time.

Still, that glimmer of a nearly normal life was wonderful while it lasted. But my life was never built to last.

Although I've been here awhile, I'm not on very often and am unaware of your history and probably never saw your avatar before, but your post really touched my heart. I hope those memories of however long you were gone and happy sustain you until your last breath... However that may occur

 

[Versailles]

Ha. That respite was brief, wasn't it?

There are limitations to the medicine I'm taking. Don't get me wrong, it's excellent, but it can only help so much, before my body crumbles apart again. It is deteriorating less than it would be in the absence of treatment, but still deteriorating nevertheless. It is harrowing, truly haunting, to witness and feel the intensity of my symptoms increase, and being truly helpless to do anything to stop it.

The bottom line is that I cannot navigate life alone. I can never be 100% independent - my conditions make this impossible. I will always be reliant on support, and when that is taken away, I fall apart piece by piece. Each day is becoming progressively more difficult, more exhausting, more painful. It was subtle at first, a reminder that I can never be healed, only try to find ways of managing. Then it got worse. And worse. And now management looks like a fairytale, a dream.

I don't know if there's a way out of it this time.

Still, that glimmer of a nearly normal life was wonderful while it lasted. But my life was never built to last.

Hi Persie, what a surprise to see you here, I'm Judah (I just changed my username). I often thought of you, often with a little tears because I thought you were gone. I hope things are going well for you, that you can find relief no matter what you decide.

I love you very much, I will never forget people as kind and valuable as you

 

[CTB Dream]

Real understanding feel need other alome not able ,med all temp not full heal time deteriorate sorry fel body no able more body torture machine this real awful ,distract solve all temporary not last, one day ok rest not. Real sorry life make suffer. This all samey understand feel how, wish peaceful

 

[LastLoveLetter]

Thank you for the support, everyone. It means a lot to know that I can always find some kindness and understanding here, no matter how long I've been away. While I'm not replying to each message individually, I have read them all and appreciate them. I'm sorry several of you can relate to the struggle of a sick body and lack of support. I wish no-one had to go through this

Although I've been here awhile, I'm not on very often and am unaware of your history and probably never saw your avatar before, but your post really touched my heart. I hope those memories of however long you were gone and happy sustain you until your last breath... However that may occur

Thank you, I really appreciate your supportive words.

I'm genuinely grateful for those memories but also heartbroken, frustrated, fed up.

While being more functional was amazing while it lasted, it also feels incredibly cruel, that I was given this small taste of freedom, only for it to be snatched away. I got a glimmer of happiness, of life being hopeful, of perhaps even having a future. And now it's rapidly disappearing. Life gave me a glimpse of what it could have been like, and then promptly said "But you can't have that."

Hi Persie, what a surprise to see you here, I'm Judah (I just changed my username). I often thought of you, often with a little tears because I thought you were gone. I hope things are going well for you, that you can find relief no matter what you decide.

I love you very much, I will never forget people as kind and valuable as you

Aww thank you Judah. I'm sorry you thought I had passed. Sending you lots of love too, I hope you are doing okay.