Venting No career, no ambition and no sense of belonging.

[Broken_Biscuit]

Hi guys, newbie here. The BBC news hinted a while ago (indirectly) about this website, and it brought me here - thank you BBC - and I have been silently watching and reading threads in the background for a few weeks. But, I wanted to finally join and engage where appropriate and I'm glad I'm here.

Now, right from the offset I want to make it known that as much as I fantasize about CTB and how peaceful and cosy non-existence would be, I absolutely don't have the minerals to do anything about it. Quite frankly, I admire those of you that do and I sit in awe of those who have called it a day on their terms. Fuck the system, I'm out - kind of thing. Amazing.

I won't go too much into about me, but I'm a guy middle age-ish from the UK who has always had unanswered questions bonging around in my mind; why are we here? Why do we have to do this? Why is there so much suffering? Will I have to work for the rest of my life? And all those kind of questions. I've never been a sheep - and living on my own with no kids, missus or really alot of friends (which for the record I do enjoy, I find life complicated enough and I do love my own company), I find myself having a lot of time in peace and quiet to think about the harsh realities of living in this realm here on the spinny planet of rock we call Earth.

My main point is this: I lack motivation, I can't hold a job due to my crippling anxiety (and don't really want to and note that I'm not on welfare/benefits so force myself out there to earn money), dislike working for the system just to pay our hard earnt swords on taxes and bills, I find the thought of a lasting life here hellish - and I wanted to see if there were likeminded people out there just kind of floating through their existence struggling with the same internal battles.

Thanks for reading and hope to chat.

 

[before20]

It will forever be amusing to me that in "spreading awareness" about the "evils" of this site, BBC continues to bring more people here LOL. But you're very welcome! Hope you enjoy your time on SaSu.

 

[Pure Vanilla]

It will forever be amusing to me that in "spreading awareness" about the "evils" of this site, BBC continues to bring more people here LOL. But you're very welcome! Hope you enjoy your time on SaSu.

to be fair its really easy to find even without those awareness spreadings, its just as simple as looking for a suicide forum then you hear about one that was taken off reddit and end up here

 

[DTA]

Welcome! Hopefully you can find some comfort here!

Do you have any hobbies or or passions that motivate you?
I, like you, hate the idea of slaving away for the man, all for no reason. But there are things that really get me going, such as my artwork or tinkering with computers.
Maybe you can find something of your own like that?

 

[Broken_Biscuit]

Welcome! Hopefully you can find some comfort here!

Do you have any hobbies or or passions that motivate you?
I, like you, hate the idea of slaving away for the man, all for no reason. But there are things that really get me going, such as my artwork or tinkering with computers.
Maybe you can find something of your own like that?

Cheers, DTA.

Yeah, it's certainly comforting to know that my thoughts/feelings are actually quite a common thing. I don't know how people hide it so well in everyday normal life. But yeah, there is comfort to be found here. I just don't know why more people ain't asking these kind of questions! Whyyy are people happy just 'to do' without questioning why? Maybe there is no 'why'. Maybe I've just answered my own question haha.

Good shout with your hobbies! I'm into music, reading, podcasts and meditation and all that good stuff; which is lovely - but doesn't pay the bills sadly, so you are right that I need to somehow translate something I like into that.. but this is the difficult thing. We'll see.

It will forever be amusing to me that in "spreading awareness" about the "evils" of this site, BBC continues to bring more people here LOL. But you're very welcome! Hope you enjoy your time on SaSu.

EXACTLY this. Well done, BBC you knobs, you've done the complete opposite of what you tried to do.

 

[DTA]

I think because 'the why' is frightening to most people. They're afraid of the answer - that there is no reason.
That's understandably frightening, but also incredibly liberating. It frees you to make your own 'why'.
I forgot to mention that you may find your hobbies can take you into a business you might never expect. I mainly draw birds and fantasy art. In prison that translated into tattoos. Other inmates would pay me good money for a custom drawing that a tattoo artist would then put on their body. There's a lot of hardened convicts walking around with my artwork on them!
But if you had asked me before I got locked up if I'd ever be doing that, I would have said, 'hell no!'

 

[darksouls]

hello you are welcome

 

[Broken_Biscuit]

I think because 'the why' is frightening to most people. They're afraid of the answer - that there is no reason.
That's understandably frightening, but also incredibly liberating. It frees you to make your own 'why'.
I forgot to mention that you may find your hobbies can take you into a business you might never expect. I mainly draw birds and fantasy art. In prison that translated into tattoos. Other inmates would pay me good money for a custom drawing that a tattoo artist would then put on their body. There's a lot of hardened convicts walking around with my artwork on them!
But if you had asked me before I got locked up if I'd ever be doing that, I would have said, 'hell no!'

Oh wow, that is fascinating! I certainly don't have any talent like that. Well done you.

And love that comment about it being liberating - I can't agree more.

 

[DTA]

Thanks.
What I'm getting at though is that you may very well be able to find something with books or music that you can do for a living. Just get into it. Maybe find like-minded people and opportunities might open up.
Sure, you may not get rich (or maybe you will!), but it makes life a whole lot more enjoyable when you spend your days doing what you love.