SecretUser
Student
- Mar 9, 2025
- 4
I'm worried about what my family and friends would think If i just dissapeared, so I need help to find an outlet.
I think about self-harm, cutting, and strangling myself sometimes; I have no one to talk to. I once told a relative that I would end it if a certain someone did something they did in the past all over again (I'm sorry, but I can't tell you in details of what it is).
She got hurt and mad at me; I understand her. She's my closest relative; of course she would feel like that. What's worse is that I told her that while going out. Anyways, my relative got help... And I am really happy for them.
I couldn't just change.
I think of an outlet; I know what to do, but somehow I can't seem to act on it... I can't think of any outlets; the only thing I think of is those thoughts of doing something to harm me. Mind you, I never cut. I stabbed myself with a DULL pencil once, banged my head on a wall, and strangled myself a lot, the most damage i did to my body was scratching hard, I don't know why i feel at peace when i do those stuff yk?. I feel like I deserve those things that harm me. Heck, I don't even deserve this kind of outlet. Idek what I'm doing. I just get the urge to punish myself. Even if I don't like it, my mind criticizes me; I criticize myself. And I feel more at peace doing that.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I made notes of ways to ctb just in case.
I also made notes of the dates when I just wanted to end it all or punish myself. I go into details inside that note.
It would help me if u know other outlets. Or a way to cut yourself without overdoing it. Please?
Do you also know any other site like this? I think I'll lose it if this site gets removed.
(P.S. That story isn't even half of the reason why I look down on myself or why I want to do these things. I am spoiled and can't seem to act on how to be better, but I am doing my best. That's why I need advice. Please support me.)
(I also read manga that contains suicide and them really killing themselves; I imagine that I was the one dying. Like the book suicide circle, though I can't seem to find other books like those. It seems cliche but thats the most that I can think of.
This is also my first time writing a thread^^)
I think about self-harm, cutting, and strangling myself sometimes; I have no one to talk to. I once told a relative that I would end it if a certain someone did something they did in the past all over again (I'm sorry, but I can't tell you in details of what it is).
She got hurt and mad at me; I understand her. She's my closest relative; of course she would feel like that. What's worse is that I told her that while going out. Anyways, my relative got help... And I am really happy for them.
I couldn't just change.
I think of an outlet; I know what to do, but somehow I can't seem to act on it... I can't think of any outlets; the only thing I think of is those thoughts of doing something to harm me. Mind you, I never cut. I stabbed myself with a DULL pencil once, banged my head on a wall, and strangled myself a lot, the most damage i did to my body was scratching hard, I don't know why i feel at peace when i do those stuff yk?. I feel like I deserve those things that harm me. Heck, I don't even deserve this kind of outlet. Idek what I'm doing. I just get the urge to punish myself. Even if I don't like it, my mind criticizes me; I criticize myself. And I feel more at peace doing that.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I made notes of ways to ctb just in case.
I also made notes of the dates when I just wanted to end it all or punish myself. I go into details inside that note.
It would help me if u know other outlets. Or a way to cut yourself without overdoing it. Please?
Do you also know any other site like this? I think I'll lose it if this site gets removed.
(P.S. That story isn't even half of the reason why I look down on myself or why I want to do these things. I am spoiled and can't seem to act on how to be better, but I am doing my best. That's why I need advice. Please support me.)
(I also read manga that contains suicide and them really killing themselves; I imagine that I was the one dying. Like the book suicide circle, though I can't seem to find other books like those. It seems cliche but thats the most that I can think of.
This is also my first time writing a thread^^)
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