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lebrodude

Arcanist
Jul 18, 2022
443
Wouldn't be needed if the nitrogen set up is on point, you'll be unconscious very quickly.

If you intended to take it to alleviate anxiety there are better options available, such as benzodiazepines.
 
rj3542

rj3542

Member
Jun 27, 2024
81
Wouldn't be needed if the nitrogen set up is on point, you'll be unconscious very quickly.

If you intended to take it to alleviate anxiety there are better options available, such as benzodiazepines.
I have a setup with EEBD hood and no leaks. I tested with air several times, then tried to ctb 2x with the nitrogen. My O2 stat read in the 50s with the hood on, but I didn't pass out. Had heart palpitations and very jerky arm movements and had to take the hood off. Trying to find someone who can help me get to the point of unconscious before the panic sets in. I'm not nervous psychologically, I'm very ready to go. So I think it's physiological.
 
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b_adr

Member
Mar 29, 2024
38
I have a setup with EEBD hood and no leaks. I tested with air several times, then tried to ctb 2x with the nitrogen. My O2 stat read in the 50s with the hood on, but I didn't pass out. Had heart palpitations and very jerky arm movements and had to take the hood off. Trying to find someone who can help me get to the point of unconscious before the panic sets in. I'm not nervous psychologically, I'm very ready to go. So I think it's physiological.
This sounds horrible. To gather everything required and then for it just not to work. My sympathies. But what do you mean - very jerky arm movements? And sorry to be so nosy, but can you describe a) for how long did you manage to hold on? b) how did it felt? physically and mentally? on a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate the pain/discomfort you experienced? c) how long till O2 fell to 50%? I am asking since this would be my preferred method, but it is quite difficult to source nitrogen for individuals in my country.
 
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rj3542

rj3542

Member
Jun 27, 2024
81
@b_adr ot has been frustrating. Ctb is much harder than most people imagine!

I ordered SN as a backup. It was showing them as delayed for several
days, and I felt so defeated because this weekend is my best for my CTB date. But then today I got a notification today that it will arrive tomorrow. We'll see!

For the nitrogen, I got lucky and got it off a local used website from someone who was retiring from HVAC and was selling equipment I just said I was picking it up for my dad. I've also seen it on the biggest website for selling everything here in the US.
The jerky arm movements were like mild convulsions. It was hard to control my arms and arms wanted to move on their own.

I held on for a good 30-40 seconds. Breathing was easy, but my breath got rapid and shallow. I didn't feel like I was suffocating though.

There wasn't much pain, more an intense feeling of pulling the hood off that overtook me. Like a physiological panic. I don't know how to rate that. Not something I've experienced before.

Took about 30-40s for my O2 to fall that far.
 
B

b_adr

Member
Mar 29, 2024
38
@b_adr ot has been frustrating. Ctb is much harder than most people imagine!

I ordered SN as a backup. It was showing them as delayed for several
days, and I felt so defeated because this weekend is my best for my CTB date. But then today I got a notification today that it will arrive tomorrow. We'll see!

For the nitrogen, I got lucky and got it off a local used website from someone who was retiring from HVAC and was selling equipment I just said I was picking it up for my dad. I've also seen it on the biggest website for selling everything here in the US.
The jerky arm movements were like mild convulsions. It was hard to control my arms and arms wanted to move on their own.

I held on for a good 30-40 seconds. Breathing was easy, but my breath got rapid and shallow. I didn't feel like I was suffocating though.

There wasn't much pain, more an intense feeling of pulling the hood off that overtook me. Like a physiological panic. I don't know how to rate that. Not something I've experienced before.

Took about 30-40s for my O2 to fall that far.
Thank you for the answers! Haha, "picking it up for my dad" has been my pre-planned response as well in case of needing an explanation. But for some reason it feels so difficult to lie!

But regarding the feeling you got, it actually could be very likely it is purely psychological. I have been actually experiencing something similar - for the past few days I have been trying to obtain the appropriate anti-emetics for SN, which has not been easy. Accordingly, during the nights, my brain is super overwhelmed with unwelcomed thoughts of how it will physically feel to vomit from SN and experience aspiration of gastric contents (which I know will ultimately lead to pulmonary obstruction). This article depicts wonderful photos from lungs after SN suicide: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1752928X2300094X At night, all of this information just freely floats around in my brain, and I noticed that I began to physically feel nauseated, up to a point where I went to the bathroom as I though I felt I will actually vomit (but I didn't). As ChatGPT explained to me, this is actually a real phenomena facilitated by the central nervous system. So psychological stimuli can evoke real physical responses. As for your case, I would definitely take something for sedation and convulsions. And I am hoping to obtain nitrogen and use it as my primary method, and I would likely combine it with phenobarbital. But, then again, I am scared that nitrogen method, too, could be faulty, as I have read an account of someone simply waking up after 10 hours or so, covered in vomit and urine. I hate this wide variety of accounts so much.

Not sure of the details of your plan, but make sure that the cylinder does not fall and that you have strapped yourself as well. And I get that it might be difficult to put off the CTB date, but I would rather put it off a bit and instead make sure I have appropriate medications (as I am not sure propranolol would be of great help).

Either way, I hope all goes peacefully for you.
 
rj3542

rj3542

Member
Jun 27, 2024
81
@b_adr I'm so sorry you're going through all this! This sounds challenging.

I could try with some benzos and see what happens. It's hard for me to lose consciousness. Even when drinking way too much and others passed out or blacked out, I never lost consciousness.

Thanks for the tips about straps. I have the tank bungee corded to a heavy piece of exercise equipment and straps for myself also to keep me upright, including for my forehead so my head doesn't fall down and dislodge the hood.

I've been having ahedonia for 6 months and feel pretty calm other than sometimes fear of consequences in my life if I fail, like what I'll have to live through.

I hope you find peace as well and thanks for sharing what's going on.
 
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b_adr

Member
Mar 29, 2024
38
@b_adr I'm so sorry you're going through all this! This sounds challenging.

I could try with some benzos and see what happens. It's hard for me to lose consciousness. Even when drinking way too much and others passed out or blacked out, I never lost consciousness.

Thanks for the tips about straps. I have the tank bungee corded to a heavy piece of exercise equipment and straps for myself also to keep me upright, including for my forehead so my head doesn't fall down and dislodge the hood.

I've been having ahedonia for 6 months and feel pretty calm other than sometimes fear of consequences in my life if I fail, like what I'll have to live through.

I hope you find peace as well and thanks for sharing what's going on.
Glad to hear that at least you have some benzos available. That should definitely help, because sounds like everything else is sorted out well. But hearing that it is possible to have physiological panic is scary. In such case, for me then it would be both psychological and physiological panic. I wish I could try this method for just a brief moment to know if its even worth going the hassle of trying to obtain it. Because, for me too, failure is not an option.
I really wish you all the best and hope it will be peaceful.
 

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