“Nice” guys

[Tigeress Lost]

I hate this whole nice guy attitude/mentality.

A little backstory: I was friends with this guy and from the very beginning I made it clear that I wasn't interested in dating anyone and I haven't in a while. He told me he understood and we were just friends. He was someone I could talk to and who I thought understood me. One time we were hanging out together and I was upset because of some stuff going on in my life. I opened up about some of my problems only for him to suddenly tell me I'm beautiful and to try and fucking kiss me. Turns out he was only really interested in trying to get with me the entire time.

After I reject him, he goes on to complain about how he's been such a good friend to me this whole time and I repay him by turning him down. Just because he let me cry on his shoulder, it doesn't mean I need to pay him back by agreeing to a relationship/sex when I'm not attracted to him. Then he goes on the stereotypical spiel about how 'girls always ignore the nice guys and instead prefer the douchebags'. According to him, we were compatible and would have made a great couple to which I most certainly disagree. I ended our friendship and never spoke to him again. I felt so betrayed.

Fast forward to today. I receive a message asking me how I was and what I'm up to this weekend. I choose to ignore him and after a few hours he replies with all these nasty messages calling me all sorts of names. I'm annoyed all over again and now I'm in a stinking bad mood. I certainly dodged one hell of a bullet.

Hi Friend

I've Been There Done That Got The Tee Shirt Wiped Up My Tears Than Used It As A Mop
First things first block all contact from him cause he will just play with your head
I made the mistake I did everything you did but ended up in bed with him & I let him control my head for 5 years
We had not spoken for 5 months than out the blue I get a text saying how are you I miss you
I gave in but it's a friendship made in hell after 4 days we were arguing again & calling each other names & than I just blocked him
He was my best friend yeah I did love him but he used me betrayed me
I understand your anger and pain cheer up don't let this get to u
I'm Here For You

Peace & Hugs

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

nobody owes each other anything especially not a relationship.

This.

I always declare my true intentions at the beginning because this has always worked for me. If she's not interested, life goes on.

It's uncomfortable to turn someone down and know they'll feel the pain of rejection, but it makes things worse to not do so.

There was a woman I was acquainted with, a neighbor, and started engaging with toward becoming friends. I realized we just didn't click. Rather than being vague and hoping she'd get the hint, the next time she approached me to do something together, I told her that I just didn't feel we were clicking and I didn't want to pursue things further. She was put off, and after when we passed each other, she clearly had up a wall, but I showed her the respect I'd want shown to me, and the expectations were clear. A little discomfort with clarity is better than major discomfort with no clarity.

We take a risk any time we want to have a relationship with someone, and they have a right to not want it and to reject it.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

yeah but......have you never known a girl and you honestly just liked her and would of been happy just being friends but she just thinks you want to sleep with her - It would never work but you just like there personality.

 

[ZardozOmega]

He should have disengaged, but he didn't. Then she should have disengaged.
She didn't, because she liked his attention (up to a point).


Males friendzone females too indeed, but the other way around happens a lot more.

Woman wouldn't like it either if they would be perceived as 'wimpy', 'not real woman', or whatever and having a hard time finding even one guy interested in them.

Woman are in charge of the dating game as they have the pussy.
They don't see it that way, because they think they are only being valued by man for being beautiful and looking slutty, which makes women insecure. I get that and it is brutal, yet they are in charge of the dating game. Women can always find a guy while guys have to work their ass off and could still get nothing.

Women thinking: "not my problem. If you want to be with a woman, be more manly and confident".

Fuck the dating game.

I don't see it as women having it easier, it's just that they have a different set of challenges in dating and finding a partner.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Men can quite commonly mistake friendliness as flirtation and actual interest. That's no excuse for him to behave like such a dickhead though. I guess he has no success with women; what a surprise with an attitude like that. Lucky escape.

 

[Fedrea]

 

[Tigeress Lost]

yikes. I think a lot of us have been there when it comes to men. over the past 2 years I've been dodging any contact with an absolute coconut of a man after a lot of manipulative bs happened. the last straw for me was when I attempted to set in place firmer boundaries.. and of course he threw a tantrum. that was when I noped out, blocked him on every platform and explained the situation to a mutual friend, who still keeps contact with him. I wish him well, and nothing but. however I wish him well from a safe distance.

basically, @Maxtothemax , don't go back. don't even look back. people like that aren't safe. I'm glad you dodged that bullet.

Hi Friend
Thank You I Will Listen To Your Advice Even Thou The Bullet Went Through My Heart:-(

Peace & Hugs

 

[RedDEE]

When you're a slut like me, you'll fuck nice guys, mean guys, or even green guys.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

It's uncomfortable to turn someone down and know they'll feel the pain of rejection, but it makes things worse to not do so.

I've experienced this, you feel bad but it has to be done. Also, I'd rather be slapped in the face than have a wishy washy reaction that leaves me confused. It happened once that this girl I was going out with did a number on me. We would basically always stop short of sex so I thought OK, she isn't ready yet. Then one day she drops the bomb that she just wanted to be friendly because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I was speechless and just vanished from her life to nurse my heart.

We take a risk any time we want to have a relationship with someone, and they have a right to not want it and to reject it.

They have every right but should be courteous enough to be honest about it.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

I hate this whole nice guy attitude/mentality.

A little backstory: I was friends with this guy and from the very beginning I made it clear that I wasn't interested in dating anyone and I haven't in a while. He told me he understood and we were just friends. He was someone I could talk to and who I thought understood me. One time we were hanging out together and I was upset because of some stuff going on in my life. I opened up about some of my problems only for him to suddenly tell me I'm beautiful and to try and fucking kiss me. Turns out he was only really interested in trying to get with me the entire time.

After I reject him, he goes on to complain about how he's been such a good friend to me this whole time and I repay him by turning him down. Just because he let me cry on his shoulder, it doesn't mean I need to pay him back by agreeing to a relationship/sex when I'm not attracted to him. Then he goes on the stereotypical spiel about how 'girls always ignore the nice guys and instead prefer the douchebags'. According to him, we were compatible and would have made a great couple to which I most certainly disagree. I ended our friendship and never spoke to him again. I felt so betrayed.

Fast forward to today. I receive a message asking me how I was and what I'm up to this weekend. I choose to ignore him and after a few hours he replies with all these nasty messages calling me all sorts of names. I'm annoyed all over again and now I'm in a stinking bad mood. I certainly dodged one hell of a bullet.

Hi Friend

By The Way Love The Little White Cat Profile Pic & By The Way Hello Neighbour I'm From Rainy England Too
Peace & Hugs

 

[Busdriver]

View attachment 43066

Funny, ridiculing 'nice guys', but don't cry when your amazing bad boys beat all of you up hard, putting you in all kinds of distress.

But hey, rather be beaten up than such a disgusting nice guy.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

Good for me to get this off my chest

there was this woman the cutest little lady in the world, yeah she wasn't interested but I just thought her personality was amazing, little pocket rocket, I know these male female friendships don't work but I just thought she was fantastic.

If I ever got the chance I would apologise for being a jerk.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

s

He should have disengaged, but he didn't. Then she should have disengaged.
She didn't, because she liked his attention (up to a point).


Males friendzone females too indeed, but the other way around happens a lot more.

Woman wouldn't like it either if they would be perceived as 'wimpy', 'not real woman', or whatever and having a hard time finding even one guy interested in them.

Woman are in charge of the dating game as they have the pussy.
They don't see it that way, because they think they are only being valued by man for being beautiful and looking slutty, which makes women insecure. I get that and it is brutal, yet they are in charge of the dating game. Women can always find a guy while guys have to work their ass off and could still get nothing.

Women thinking: "not my problem. If you want to be with a woman, be more manly and confident".

Fuck the dating game.

I did eventually disengage after realising that he didn't mean it when he said he was happy to be friends or when he agreed with me that we're better off as friends. And when I did end things, there was no need for him to get all butt hurt over being rejected and to start being an asshole. Making a move on someone when they're upset and vulnerable is just not acceptable.

It's not about having to be manly and confident for women to be attracted to men. Compatibility between potential partners runs a lot deeper than that.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Funny, ridiculing 'nice guys', but don't cry when your amazing bad boys beat all of you up hard, putting you in all kinds of distress.

But hey, rather be beaten up than such a disgusting nice guy.

that's silly

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Funny, ridiculing 'nice guys', but don't cry when your amazing bad boys beat all of you up hard, putting you in all kinds of distress.

But hey, rather be beaten up than such a disgusting nice guy.

It's this 'nice guy' attitude that's unattractive. Why assume that women prefer or always go to the 'bad boys'? Simply being nice isn't enough when it comes to finding a potential partner and being nice to someone should be the standard not because you expect something in return.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

They have every right but should be courteous enough to be honest about it

It takes courage and integrity. Not everyone has that. Integrity is doing what's right instead of what's fun fast, or easy/convenient.

Should is a difficult word. It's usually used against what is and is dispreferred. We can't control others' morals nor impose virtue on them, and we can't control their actions. Unfortunately, most people are not going to do the inconvenient thing of being up front, courteous (considering the other's feelings over our own), or honest. And I'm not at all saying this about you, but much of the time when folks are inflamed because someone didn't show them courtesy by doing what was less convenient to themselves, they'd do the same damn thing to another in an equal situation and excuse it. If we're not actively hitting someone or speaking directly to them, it's hard to comprehend that our actions are doing something "to" someone else, but also, sometimes we're not doing something "to" someone but it's perceived that we are, such as not wanting to engage our sexual organs with them.

Btw, what that girl did was not cool. I'm sorry you went through that. Talk about mixed signals! But those were her issues, not yours, it's just that you got harmed by her issues since she chose to engage to that degree. That's my opinion anyway. Sorry you got impacted by her issues. Glad you had the internal resources to recover. I think a lot of the time we feel ongoing burning resentment because we don't have the resources to recover.

 

[Sarahlynn]

This describes my reasoning to a T. I have been rejected in the past but I've also had to reject women I wasn't interested in. It's just a part of life, that's how I took it. A few of these women ended up as my friends but most just faded away. I also don't understand why they're called nice guys. How can a manipulative sex fiend be nice? I think the real nice guys are the honest ones who accept the answer like adults, be it yes or no.

It's a joke because these guys always calls themselves "nice guys" when they are everything but. They weasel themselves into womens lives by acting all nice and caring, listens to her stories, backs her up, acts like a friend. Then they make their move. They are such "nice guys", so now the women owe him, and they better lie down and spread their legs due to all the effort he put into being so nice. The woman thought they were friends all along so she refuse him, he gets pissed, and shows his true colors. And then they complain that women don't want the nice guys.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I don't know who is more contemptible. The simps who orbit or the women who intentionally have orbiters.

 

[Fedrea]

Funny, ridiculing 'nice guys', but don't cry when your amazing bad boys beat all of you up hard, putting you in all kinds of distress.

But hey, rather be beaten up than such a disgusting nice guy.

point is self appointed nice guys aren't always that.

I don't know who is more contemptible. The simps who orbit or the women who intentionally have orbiters.

Take it to mgtow or Reddit or wherever.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

So as not to seem gender biased, I post both of these, and I did an eeny-meeny-miney-moe to decide which one to post first.

 

[Busdriver]

You are right: these 'nice guys' are apparently not so 'nice', so indeed better not to get entangled with them.

But are these 'bad guys' so much better? They are also jerks.

Compatibility is very important. Yet, I see really friendly and honest guys deemed as shit by women, and bad buys praised as gods, despite the trouble they can endure with these type of men.

What about a good man? I have never heard a woman saying she wants a good man.

 

[RedDEE]

PLEASE somebody fuck me!

 

[Deleted member 19654]

You are right: these 'nice guys' are apparently not so 'nice', so indeed better not to get entangled with them.

But are these 'bad guys' so much better? They are also jerks.

Compatibility is very important. Yet, I see really friendly and honest guys deemed as shit by women, and bad buys praised as gods, despite the trouble they can endure with these type of men.

What about a good man? I have never heard a woman saying she wants a good man.

There will always be bad, abusive people and they can be male or female. There's this misconception that women always go for the bad guys. I don't think I've ever come across another woman that has said she doesn't want a good man.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

Talk about mixed signals! But those were her issues, not yours, it's just that you got harmed by her issues since she chose to engage to that degree.

It was also a dangerous thing to do. It felt as though she'd enjoyed screwing with my head. I was so angry that for a moment I almost turned violent, then I somehow just walked away. Leading a man on to that level can lead to terrible consequences for a woman especially when if they're alone. Most guys are not that self controlled.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Funny, ridiculing 'nice guys', but don't cry when your amazing bad boys beat all of you up hard, putting you in all kinds of distress.

But hey, rather be beaten up than such a disgusting nice guy.

Came here looking for a comment like this, wasn't disappointed.

 

[Busdriver]

Came here looking for a comment like this, wasn't disappointed.

Good for you

 

[262653]

@RedDEE I really like how your posts contrast with the rest of the thread.

 

[RedDEE]

@RedDEE I really like how your posts contrast with the rest of the thread.

LOL Thanks! Finally, I am recognized.

 

[RedDEE]

Now that we're at it, I want a woman to beat me up hard! Preferably not nice, but I'm not that picky.

That's the spirit! I like nice girls, mean guys, sexy agenders, and unsexy transvestites. I wanna be beat up, strapped down, abused and then go to starbucks for a mocha.

When you're a total slut, none of this "nice guy mean guy" shit matters.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Don't just assume that all women automatically go for the guy who's abusive over the guy who's genuinely nice. It's this sort of attitude/mentality that I can't stand. When women say they want a good guy, they mean it. It also doesn't mean that they are or have to be attracted to every decent man they come across.