Newbie second post, general question:

[fightingsioux]

Hi all. 71 years old, alone, many health problems. Most serious just started last year, finally saw a neurologist, many tests, diagnosis: peripheral neuropathy. Basically the nerves controlling my feet are not working correctly. Not a simple B12 deficiency, cause unknown.

Can only walk (stumble) for less than an hour. Eventually will no longer be able to walk. Along with my other health problems and my lack of attachments, starting to seriously research ctb.

Not sure of method yet, going to read this forum carefully.

Basic question that I'm sure others have asked. I want to remain 100% anonymous/unidentified after ctb. To me, this rules out guns since they can easily be traced. Also worried about inert gases, I think one has to show an ID when purchasing and I think each tank has a traceable serial number. Any feedback on this? TIA.

 

[SinisterKid]

Hi and welcome to SS. Sorry to read about your health problems. It is pleasant for me to read from someone older than myself, its rare here

Research the megathreads regarding Sodium Nitrite [SN] and also Nembutol [N] SN is cheap, fairly easy to obtain and pain free or near as. N is more expensive but appears to be the grail of the suicidal. Harder to get, but many would say worth the effort and expense. Both will certainly keep your anonymity in tact.

Hopefully you will find something here that is right for you. I know I did.

 

[DarkDane]

Depends on where you're from, in America you can buy SN in most shops it seems, with cash, that would be untraceable.

 

[JimFord99]

Well, I think it is extremely difficult to stay 100% anonymous these days. Unless you burn yourself down to a pile of carbon ash, anything can be used to identify you. As per method, well, SN is an easy and popular method. SN is in a way anonymous to get. How do you cope with daily live? Welcome here by the way, should have put this in front of anything else. Sorry.

 

[fightingsioux]

Hi and welcome to SS. Sorry to read about your health problems. It is pleasant for me to read from someone older than myself, its rare here

Research the megathreads regarding Sodium Nitrite [SN] and also Nembutol [N] SN is cheap, fairly easy to obtain and pain free or near as. N is more expensive but appears to be the grail of the suicidal. Harder to get, but many would say worth the effort and expense. Both will certainly keep your anonymity in tact.

Hopefully you will find something here that is right for you. I know I did.

Sinister Kid: Thanks for your prompt and polite response. I'm a bit surprised about the age comment, I thought that many, many older folks would be looking for info on a forum like this! I'm starting to realize that it's very difficult to find factual, accurate info about this topic, and it's virtually impossible to talk to a medical professional without finding oneself in a psych unit. Just ridiculous.

I am slowly working my way through the various metathreads, just finished the one on butanediol (sp?). Seems too unreliable, unproven, too many ifs.

Know nothing about SN or N, but will research them. Within reason, cost is not a factor for me so I'm not worried about that part of any method.

DarkDane: Any knowledge about inert gas tanks? Are they traceable?

JimFord99: LOL, yep a pile of carbon ash would be good but hard to do!

I realize that I'm currently thinking about the "untraceable anonymity" factor as much as I am the method, which surprises me. My apartment lease is up the last day of March, 2020. Getting rid of the small amount of stuff I have left will not be hard (been downsizing for years.) Can sell my car. Going to convert everything, including all investments, to cash in my bank account, get a cashier's check, somehow get it to my one living young relative (brainstorming that one!)

After that, where is troubling me as much as how. Don't think I can get a hotel room anymore without ID, but will research that. Thought of AirBnB, looked into it, they require ID.

One more question: do the authorities really try to identify a body through dental records when it's obvious that there was no foul play? How do they even do it? Is there some national database of dental records? Seems unlikely.

 

[SinisterKid]

Nah, sadly, this place is frequented by far too many young people who find life too difficult to continue with for so many good, valid reasons. This world has failed them in so many ways. So its always good to find someone who is more mature in years. Lots of middle aged folks as well, but us olds are not that many in number and I have no idea why. Maybe the whole issue of talking openly about suicide is not acceptable to many of our generation, I dont know.

There's a lot of reading thats for sure. Research, research, then research some more. Dont be afraid to ask questions. But suicide is not a science. There are so many variables its unreal. What is right for one is not right for another. Sorting the wheat from the chaff is the hardest part when suicide is alien to you, like it was to me. But I got there in the end, so will you

 

[DarkDane]

Sinister Kid: Thanks for your prompt and polite response. I'm a bit surprised about the age comment, I thought that many, many older folks would be looking for info on a forum like this! I'm starting to realize that it's very difficult to find factual, accurate info about this topic, and it's virtually impossible to talk to a medical professional without finding oneself in a psych unit. Just ridiculous.

I am slowly working my way through the various metathreads, just finished the one on butanediol (sp?). Seems too unreliable, unproven, too many ifs.

Know nothing about SN or N, but will research them. Within reason, cost is not a factor for me so I'm not worried about that part of any method.

DarkDane: Any knowledge about inert gas tanks? Are they traceable?

JimFord99: LOL, yep a pile of carbon ash would be good but hard to do!

I realize that I'm currently thinking about the "untraceable anonymity" factor as much as I am the method, which surprises me. My apartment lease is up the last day of March, 2020. Getting rid of the small amount of stuff I have left will not be hard (been downsizing for years.) Can sell my car. Going to convert everything, including all investments, to cash in my bank account, get a cashier's check, somehow get it to my one living young relative (brainstorming that one!)

After that, where is troubling me as much as how. Don't think I can get a hotel room anymore without ID, but will research that. Thought of AirBnB, looked into it, they require ID.

One more question: do the authorities really try to identify a body through dental records when it's obvious that there was no foul play? How do they even do it? Is there some national database of dental records? Seems unlikely.

Im going to use SN and I sadly dont have any knowledge of inert gastanks. They usually do a quite careful abduction of the corpse if their cant figure out the identity, also a big chance someone will report you missing and the police will put two and two together. Is there a reason why you dont want to be regonized if I may ask?

 

[TowerUpright]

It is difficult to trace prepaid credit cards , paid for in cash.

 

[Rachel74]

Welcome to SS

 

[fightingsioux]

It is difficult to trace prepaid credit cards , paid for in cash.

Good idea, thanks.

Im going to use SN and I sadly dont have any knowledge of inert gastanks. They usually do a quite careful abduction of the corpse if their cant figure out the identity, also a big chance someone will report you missing and the police will put two and two together. Is there a reason why you dont want to be regonized if I may ask?

I'm going to tell the few people I know that I'm going "traveling". I think that there's quite a bit of survivor's guilt when things like this happen ("Why didn't I do something/ see the signs/spend more time with him." etc.) and I want to avoid that. Wondering what ever happened to old so and so is a lot easier! :-) I guess I also don't like the idea of my name appearing in my local paper, the usual body discovered/police suspect suicide article. Maybe silly, but I'd like to just...disappear.

 

[Rachel74]

Sinister Kid: Thanks for your prompt and polite response. I'm a bit surprised about the age comment, I thought that many, many older folks would be looking for info on a forum like this! I'm starting to realize that it's very difficult to find factual, accurate info about this topic, and it's virtually impossible to talk to a medical professional without finding oneself in a psych unit. Just ridiculous.

I am slowly working my way through the various metathreads, just finished the one on butanediol (sp?). Seems too unreliable, unproven, too many ifs.

Know nothing about SN or N, but will research them. Within reason, cost is not a factor for me so I'm not worried about that part of any method.

DarkDane: Any knowledge about inert gas tanks? Are they traceable?

JimFord99: LOL, yep a pile of carbon ash would be good but hard to do!

I realize that I'm currently thinking about the "untraceable anonymity" factor as much as I am the method, which surprises me. My apartment lease is up the last day of March, 2020. Getting rid of the small amount of stuff I have left will not be hard (been downsizing for years.) Can sell my car. Going to convert everything, including all investments, to cash in my bank account, get a cashier's check, somehow get it to my one living young relative (brainstorming that one!)

After that, where is troubling me as much as how. Don't think I can get a hotel room anymore without ID, but will research that. Thought of AirBnB, looked into it, they require ID.

One more question: do the authorities really try to identify a body through dental records when it's obvious that there was no foul play? How do they even do it? Is there some national database of dental records? Seems unlikely.

I was actually surprised about the ages on here too but I think there are a few of us around. Now 44 isn't old but I feel it.
I think you deserve a very peaceful death so I'd say N or SN. Lots of research and amazing things to read on here from dying from cherry stones to apple pips. We are helpful but try not to be so serious as this is the last point of our life so let's enjoy it

 

[fightingsioux]

Nah, sadly, this place is frequented by far too many young people who find life too difficult to continue with for so many good, valid reasons. This world has failed them in so many ways. So its always good to find someone who is more mature in years. Lots of middle aged folks as well, but us olds are not that many in number and I have no idea why. Maybe the whole issue of talking openly about suicide is not acceptable to many of our generation, I dont know.

There's a lot of reading thats for sure. Research, research, then research some more. Dont be afraid to ask questions. But suicide is not a science. There are so many variables its unreal. What is right for one is not right for another. Sorting the wheat from the chaff is the hardest part when suicide is alien to you, like it was to me. But I got there in the end, so will you

Yep, I'm a good researcher so that's my plan. Thanks again for your response.

I was actually surprised about the ages on here too but I think there are a few of us around. Now 44 isn't old but I feel it.
I think you deserve a very peaceful death so I'd say N or SN. Lots of research and amazing things to read on here from dying from cherry stones to apple pips. We are helpful but try not to be so serious as this is the last point of our life so let's enjoy it ❤

Thanks for the welcome. I can already tell that this is a very friendly, open, welcoming forum. It took me awhile to find it, but it seems like exactly what I was looking for: a place with reliable, factual information, and a place where I can ask questions without being judged. Thanks again!

 

[frees]

I would recommend reading the "Peaceful Pill Handbook". By buying it or downloading from here.
As a second book: "Five Last Acts"

Both downloads are quite large, they are scans.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Do you have a car and a garage?

 

[fightingsioux]

I would recommend reading the "Peaceful Pill Handbook". By buying it or downloading from here.
As a second book: "Five Last Acts"

Both downloads are quite large, they are scans.

Thanks for your suggestion, frees. Actually, my first post here was asking about that very book. Wondered whether it and/or Final Exit was worth reading, also asked about the PDF supplement to Final Exit called How to Make Your Own Inert Gas Hood Kit.

Did not get an opinion on Final Exit or the supplement, but was told that the PPH was actually available on this site in the research forum. Do you or anyone else happen to know if that is correct?

 

[frees]

Thanks for your suggestion, frees. Actually, my first post here was asking about that very book. Wondered whether it and/or Final Exit was worth reading, also asked about the PDF supplement to Final Exit called How to Make Your Own Inert Gas Hood Kit.

Did not get an opinion on Final Exit or the supplement, but was told that the PPH was actually available on this site in the research forum. Do you or anyone else happen to know if that is correct?

Final Exit is quite outdated today. Not worth it, start with PPH.
Considering exit bag / inert gases also start with the relevant chapters in PPH. "Five Last Acts" is a good complement here: More extensive description on how to make the bag itself and using it. And its inert gas chapters are better when using balloon gas cylinders instead of industrial nitrogen.

 

[*KNAZ*]

*KNAZ*, thanks much for taking the time to reply. Discovering this site and all the friendly and helpful people here has been amazing, I had absolutely no one to communicate with before, not to mention the wealth of information.

I was vaguely familiar with the general idea of using an inert gas, and of course a gun. I've decided to gradually read all the metathreads about all methods in the research section of the forum. Went through the one on Butanediol (sp?), then skipped the one on Decapitation (what can I say ). Currently reading about charcoal burning and carbon monoxide, about half-way through. I've already seen SN and N mentioned many times, so I'm looking forward to reading that thread.

You can help me with one term: what's benzo?

Excellent, just the kind of advice I appreciate. Will definitely read PPH and Five Last Acts.

Hello and yes this is truly an amazing site. Finally I can be honest with the things I want to say and hear.

Benzo is short for benzodiazepines which are a class of medications used to treat anxiety. Think of Xanax, Valium, and Ativan.

 

[fightingsioux]

Do you have a car and a garage?

Sweet emotion, thanks for the response. I have a car, but no garage: sold my house last year, moved into a small apartment, gradually getting rid of all my stuff. I think I understand where you're going with that question; it's very hard for me to explain--perhaps I don't fully understand it myself--but I don't want to have a public exit. Don't want folks to feel bad or guilty, don't want any newspaper articles, etc. Just want to find a method and a place where I can quietly and efficiently leave the scene!

Hello and yes this is truly an amazing site. Finally I can be honest with the things I want to say and hear.

Benzo is short for benzodiazepines which are a class of medications used to treat anxiety. Think of Xanax, Valium, and Ativan.

Got it. Why is it mentioned so often? Is it particularly effective or relatively easy to get?

 

[Sweet emotion]

Sweet emotion, thanks for the response. I have a car, but no garage: sold my house last year, moved into a small apartment, gradually getting rid of all my stuff. I think I understand where you're going with that question; it's very hard for me to explain--perhaps I don't fully understand it myself--but I don't want to have a public exit. Don't want folks to feel bad or guilty, don't want any newspaper articles, etc. Just want to find a method and a place where I can quietly and efficiently leave the scene!

Got it. Why is it mentioned so often? Is it particularly effective or relatively easy to get?

I understand what you mean. I dread the thought of that myself because I know the people in my building and on my block are going to see the paramedics take my body away and I loathe the thought of them talking about me. But a lot of them know my situation so who really gives a shit.

 

[*KNAZ*]

I understand what you mean. I dread the thought of that myself because I know the people in my building and on my block are going to see the paramedics take my body away and I loathe the thought of them talking about me. But a lot of them know my situation so who really gives a shit.

People have such short attention spans these days that there may be some chatter for a day but the next day they will be back to posting cute photos of kittens on Instagram. And as you said, who really gives a shit. Have you thought of leaving the city and getting a motel room somewhere more peaceful? Personally I'm going to go on a camping trip or rent a hotel room.

 

[fightingsioux]

I understand what you mean. I dread the thought of that myself because I know the people in my building and on my block are going to see the paramedics take my body away and I loathe the thought of them talking about me. But a lot of them know my situation so who really gives a shit.

I hear you, different strokes for different folks. For whatever reason, I do give a shit . As I mentioned in another post, survivor's guilt is a real thing and I just don't want to inflict that on anyone. Want to come up with a painless, peaceful, drama-free plan.

 

[*KNAZ*]

Sweet emotion, thanks for the response. I have a car, but no garage: sold my house last year, moved into a small apartment, gradually getting rid of all my stuff. I think I understand where you're going with that question; it's very hard for me to explain--perhaps I don't fully understand it myself--but I don't want to have a public exit. Don't want folks to feel bad or guilty, don't want any newspaper articles, etc. Just want to find a method and a place where I can quietly and efficiently leave the scene!

Got it. Why is it mentioned so often? Is it particularly effective or relatively easy to get?

Benzos are usually prescribed by doctor and many of us here have underlying anxiety problems so we have access to some amounts of these meds. They really cut anxiety and make you drowsy so it kind of helps during preparations and with that final step thru the gate. You can take more than prescribed of course and it just gets the anxiety out of the picture. If you wanted to get some you could try seeing your doctor and mention anxiety and trouble sleeping. They usually will prescribe a 30 day dose. Usually start with baby benzos like Ativan aka lorazepam.

 

[frees]

Got it. Why is it mentioned so often? Is it particularly effective or relatively easy to get?

They help with overcoming survival instinct, thus they can be helpful. (Like one or two tablets, more will hamper coordination.) They are not lethal on their own, with some drug cocktails they are used in overdose.

 

[fightingsioux]

Benzos are usually prescribed by doctor and many of us here have underlying anxiety problems so we have access to some amounts of these meds. They really cut anxiety and make you drowsy so it kind of helps during preparations and with that final step thru the gate. You can take more than prescribed of course and it just gets the anxiety out of the picture. If you wanted to get some you could try seeing your doctor and mention anxiety and trouble sleeping. They usually will prescribe a 30 day dose. Usually start with baby benzos like Ativan aka lorazepam.

Understand, will keep that in mind. As I've mentioned, at least for now my goal is the end of March, 2020. Going to be a long and difficult winter but I want to research, plan and prepare.

 

[*KNAZ*]

Understand, will keep that in mind. As I've mentioned, at least for now my goal is the end of March, 2020. Going to be a long and difficult winter but I want to research, plan and prepare.

Planning and research definitely make a difference. There is a wealth of information here that helped me decide on SN.

 

[fightingsioux]

Planning and research definitely make a difference. There is a wealth of information here that helped me decide on SN.

Sorry, changed my profile image, won't do it again.

 

[*KNAZ*]

Good idea, thanks.

I'm going to tell the few people I know that I'm going "traveling". I think that there's quite a bit of survivor's guilt when things like this happen ("Why didn't I do something/ see the signs/spend more time with him." etc.) and I want to avoid that. Wondering what ever happened to old so and so is a lot easier! :-) I guess I also don't like the idea of my name appearing in my local paper, the usual body discovered/police suspect suicide article. Maybe silly, but I'd like to just...disappear.

I had the same fear of notoriety and survivor guilt too. But as much as we plan and try to minimize the impact on others, we can't mitigate everything. It don't think the after effects for those left behind would necessarily be as bad as we think. We who deal with the things that have brought us to this site are the ones who really carry the bigger share of the burden. If anything the planning/research we do speaks volumes about how we are doing all we can to mitigate the impact on others. I think letting the truth be known after we CTB is easier than disappearing and having remains found waiting to be identified. After watching those crime tv shows, I think the uncertainty, worry, and waiting for forensics to reach a conclusion would be harder on the family In my opinion. Unless you could stage it as a confused elderly person walked away into woods and died of exposure.

 

[fightingsioux]

I had the same fear of notoriety and survivor guilt too. But as much as we plan and try to minimize the impact on others, we can't mitigate everything. It don't think the after effects for those left behind would necessarily be as bad as we think. We who deal with the things that have brought us to this site are the ones who really carry the bigger share of the burden. If anything the planning/research we do speaks volumes about how we are doing all we can to mitigate the impact on others. I think letting the truth be known after we CTB is easier than disappearing and having remains found waiting to be identified. After watching those crime tv shows, I think the uncertainty, worry, and waiting for forensics to reach a conclusion would be harder on the family In my opinion. Unless you could stage it as a confused elderly person walked away into woods and died of exposure.

You make some great points, very thoughtful, but as I said to Sweet emotion earlier, different strokes for different folks. I am determined to find a method that allows me to just fade anonymously away.

 

[*KNAZ*]

You make some great points, very thoughtful, but as I said to Sweet emotion earlier, different strokes for different folks. I am determined to find a method that allows me to just fade anonymously away.

I hope you find what works best for your situation. I think it's noble of you. We are all here to support each other. Dying of exposure (hypothermia) in the woods, or its appearance, may cover all of your bases. But I don't know much about that. SN could play a role in that scenario since it's not detectable especially if time passes after death. But then if your remains are found, your dental records could be used to identify you. And that leads into missing persons and forensics. Again it may be worth the trade off.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Perhaps you and @color_me_gone can speak. You're roughly the same age if I remember correctly. I think you two might have a lot to talk about