New plan

[sadsamantha]

So, since the intense pain is what causes me to back out of hanging every single time, I've decided I'm going to get very drunk before doing it next time. I'm talking a BAC of 0.20 kind of drunk. I've read that a lot of people who are that drunk don't really feel pain. My hope is that I'll be too drunk to feel the pain, but not so drunk that I'm too uncoordinated to do it. Everything is already all set up though, all I will have to do is crawl up the ladder and place the noose around my neck. I think the hardest part will be consuming enough alcohol to get me that drunk because I hate the taste of it, but I'm going to start drinking at 8am and slowly sip all day long until I get there, and I have a breathalyzer that will tell me when I'm there. Please wish me luck, and if you are someone who prays, send a prayer up asking God to take me. Anyone who's been following my posts on here knows that this is something I have wanted to do for a very long time and I already have many failed attempts under my belt.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how difficult it is to pass away in this cruel world, it sounds like you've suffered a lot so I hope that you find the freedom that you are so desperately searching for.