Venting new friend trouble...

[naomewki]

hello all !! so it seems ive stumbled into a bit of a problem, i admit i am at fault and unfortunately i cannot reverse the hands of time to change what decision i made but i really don't know where else to talk about this... around 4 days ago i made a new friend unintentionally, i only talked to one person and he is very kind and an online friend, he always wants to meet and go out in person for some reason but unfortunately recently caught onto my current plans and really wanted me to talk to his friend a few days ago, he said they would understand what im going through and that i should really really talk to them, it was late at night and i really wanted him to rest because he works often so i said yes i would talk to them and he headed to bed... ill call my first friend Sam and his friend he wanted me to talk to Rye.

This new friend, Rye, is very kind and HAD similar thoughts to my own, put heavy emphasis on had because they no longer do and they are trying to talk me out of my own plans even though i insist we just talk about them and their interests... Unfortunately ive learned recently that they are very attached to me and has BPD,, ive never made a friend like this before and I only talk to two people now,, i really want them to connect to my old friends as they are an artist as well as all of my old friends but they are very against this idea and really really gets lonely when I disappear, I don't know how to encourage them to connect with other people who will be here longer and they constantly want to convince me to not do anything- i feel very trapped and suffocated and i can't exactly get them to understand my feelings the way i understand theirs...

i just want Rye to be happy but they keep insisting that they can only be happy if im here but i know i cannot stay here i must go soon but they won't understand me at all,, i really really just want them to connect to my old friends and be surrounded by loving individuals who can stay here, im at a lost on what to do now, i feel like talking to them was such a huge mistake- but i can't just abandon them, it'll be break my heart and theirs if what they say is true... and i can't go peacefully knowing that-

Rye also have a huge crush on my friend Sam, and at first i thought "perfect !! that means i can connect the two more and they will have someone who will love them when im not here :D" but it seems to be going horribly horribly wrong- each time i talk to Rye they keep telling me how Sam only talks about me everytime they text?? and only texts Rye to check in on how I've been or as they questions about me and just talk about me the ENTIRE time and it's very very RUDE i genuinely do not understand why he is doing this- it's very odd to me, but because of this I've been trying to talk to Rye alot to comfort them and encourage them to not give up on confessing to Sam, and I think it's only made matters worse... now it just looks like both Rye and Sam are overly concerned about me and i just want the two of them to be together but Sam is making things very difficult by neglecting Rye's feelings and only worrying about me...

i really really don't know what do guys... i feel lost, trapped and so confused... this is all so new to me i never talked to friends like this before, it was always only art and now that i have finally started my plan this comes up, im so frustrated....

if anyone has tips on how i can get Sam to focus more on Rye and not talk about another person everytime the talk i would greatly appreciate it !! this is very new to me so i do not understand some things- please feel free to explain if i am missing anything or if you can help ㅠㅠ