Never been loved

[Crematoryy]

My birthday is approaching (the 18th of this month) and no one will come to visit me at home, except my parents. I've never had anyone to rest and spend time with, someone who was a loyal friend and lover. I've always been alone; while some live surrounded by loving relationships, others create relationships within their own minds to survive.

I am not loved, I never have been... my nakedness has no value, and my thoughts will be eternally unknown. I will die without ever having been visited. Perhaps, in the eyes of the world, I deserve to be left alone. Not because there is anything wrong with me, but because that's how things are. Born to love, but without receiving any demonstration of affection. Born to belong, but residing in exile.

 

[WalmartSoap]

I see myself as an incredibly loyal person, even to a fault. I'd bend over backwards for anyone who showed me an ounce of affection, and still they never do. I've come to wonder if I'm really that worthless to everyone, like you said, born to love but forced into a world that will never love me. Really, it's the only thing I've come to crave now. It's my only motivation. Every day that goes by, I go to sleep all alone and pathetic and it only heightens my desire to ctb.

People say I'm young and I have time, but by now everyone my age has experienced more than I have as little as it might be. There's something wrong with me.

 

[lastappleonearth]

My birthday is approaching (the 18th of this month) and no one will come to visit me at home, except my parents. I've never had anyone to rest and spend time with, someone who was a loyal friend and lover. I've always been alone; while some live surrounded by loving relationships, others create relationships within their own minds to survive.

I am not loved, I never have been... my nakedness has no value, and my thoughts will be eternally unknown. I will die without ever having been visited. Perhaps, in the eyes of the world, I deserve to be left alone. Not because there is anything wrong with me, but because that's how things are. Born to love, but without receiving any demonstration of affection. Born to belong, but residing in exile.

I feel with you, my birthday is coming up in October and I dread it. Seems like with every year less and less people congratulate me and care in general. I wish I didn't fuck everything up so much.
I wish you all the best though and you btw write beautifully

I see myself as an incredibly loyal person, even to a fault. I'd bend over backwards for anyone who showed me an ounce of affection, and still they never do. I've come to wonder if I'm really that worthless to everyone, like you said, born to love but forced into a world that will never love me. Really, it's the only thing I've come to crave now. It's my only motivation. Every day that goes by, I go to sleep all alone and pathetic and it only heightens my desire to ctb.

People say I'm young and I have time, but by now everyone my age has experienced more than I have as little as it might be. There's something wrong with me.

Same, and it scares me, bcs yeah sure mby now I still have time in theory, but even from a statistical pov it's unusual that I've never been in a physical relationship before, so idk. I just crave love

 

[UglyLife82]

I'm sorry. I really relate to how you feel. It sucks. Regardless, happy early birthday. Yours is two days before mine

 

[caotic_realm]

My 35th birthday is also approaching, and it's a bit sad never to have had a girlfriend or to have been loved—or even to aspire to it—since I've certainly let myself go and am unattractive.
It is sad, but I've resigned myself to it, and that makes it hurt less.
There are people who have died in the same circumstances, and it makes no difference; in the end, we all die—whether we were loved or not—and a few years later, we are forgotten. The same goes for the moments we lived; death sweeps everything away.