• Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

A

Ah.ow

scared person
Mar 12, 2024
102
i have some kind of pain that I don't know what to call,
but it was different than what I thought people meant by chronic pain. I have that too,

but this kind of pain overwhelms me many ways. emotionally, and reminds me of suicide maybe every time. it makes me need to do something, but medical people usually make it worse.

when I'm forced to be confined sometimes and can't walk, i feel more suicide stuff. and when I can walk, I can't walk that long. the pain episodes usually last some hours. it might relate to laying.

is there anything you relate to or have done?

I felt more suicide stuff from asking neuropathy forums. on those places I couldn't mention suicidality though

I'm confused what to say, but maybe the closest analogy I heard for physical feelings that bring strong suicidal cognition, was akathisia. 'emotional pain' was the wrong word, or separate maybe from this 'drive'? the feeling is focused, but maybe it's not a drive to suicide. the most upsetting, maybe like how concussions or other injuries that make someone change emotions faster, or that make their emotions seem simpler, less controlled, stronger, 'babyish'? I don't know, because that's just a part of me when I feel it. I'm getting lost trying to say this suicidal part of the pain.

but akathisia was another issue, with me not understanding if other people experience what I'm experiencing. for example, I wasn't experiencing constant motor symptoms.

how to describe this? does anyone specialize or understand?
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Unknown21, Catch-22, locked*n*loaded and 3 others
ferrie

ferrie

she/they
May 19, 2024
420
I don't know if we experience the same kind of pain, but I also have pain mostly in my limbs that seems to be nerve pain but doctors can't explain. My pain is constant with worse flare ups that can last days. Does your pain get worse with the cold? That's when I've noticed I've had the most difficulty walking. It's completely taken away my ability to hold a normal job & it's hard to do daily tasks, so it's contributing to my suicidal ideations as well. I've been dealing with this for almost 8 years & only seems to get worse as I get older. It is completely separate from my chronic pain though, like you say. I wish I knew more about it so I could say smth that might help you find some relief, but we do seem to have similar experiences
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: locked*n*loaded, PA𝖨𝑁 and davidtorez
davidtorez

davidtorez

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
395
I can somehow relate to physical pain contributing to suicidal ideation. My pains also get worse in the cold. Fwiw , I suffer from osteoarthritis and tendonosis in most of my joints
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: locked*n*loaded and PA𝖨𝑁
DoubleUp8

DoubleUp8

Gambler
Dec 14, 2023
542
I experience neuropathy. Nerve pain. Constant. 24/7. I was never supposed to walk. A whole bunch of doctors told me I would never walk again. I do walk with a cane but I feel every step. More difficult in America with no health care system here. I have had enough of it. That's pretty much why I am here
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: divinemistress36
A

Ah.ow

scared person
Mar 12, 2024
102
I experience neuropathy. Nerve pain. Constant. 24/7. I was never supposed to walk. A whole bunch of doctors told me I would never walk again. I do walk with a cane but I feel every step. More difficult in America with no health care system here. I have had enough of it. That's pretty much why I am here
can I ask if you connected with others here or elsewhere about it? i saw search results, but i got overwhelmed. focusing away from it is what I try doing. focusing on it and pain when searching, felt like more of my post feelings
 
A

Ah.ow

scared person
Mar 12, 2024
102
I don't know if we experience the same kind of pain, but I also have pain mostly in my limbs that seems to be nerve pain but doctors can't explain. My pain is constant with worse flare ups that can last days. Does your pain get worse with the cold? That's when I've noticed I've had the most difficulty walking. It's completely taken away my ability to hold a normal job & it's hard to do daily tasks, so it's contributing to my suicidal ideations as well. I've been dealing with this for almost 8 years & only seems to get worse as I get older. It is completely separate from my chronic pain though, like you say. I wish I knew more about it so I could say smth that might help you find some relief, but we do seem to have similar experiences
can I ask how you tried describing to medical staff or anyone who wasn't on here?

I get scared to show medical providers anything. but this feeling can be the most overwhelming for me when it's around,

so it pushes me to talk to staff if I know of anyone who might not do everything wrong. (for example i wonder if adolescent-health-centers are trustable).

idk if it's been around at the times of other extreme feelings at crises point too though, like a retraumatization or chronic pain going on or getting an episode of bullying
 
DoubleUp8

DoubleUp8

Gambler
Dec 14, 2023
542
can I ask if you connected with others here or elsewhere about it? i saw search results, but i got overwhelmed. focusing away from it is what I try doing. focusing on it and pain when searching, felt like more of my post feelings
Just posting here sometimes. As much of any kind of connection. Really part of my own private hell
 
ferrie

ferrie

she/they
May 19, 2024
420
can I ask how you tried describing to medical staff or anyone who wasn't on here?

I get scared to show medical providers anything. but this feeling can be the most overwhelming for me when it's around,

so it pushes me to talk to staff if I know of anyone who might not do everything wrong. (for example i wonder if adolescent-health-centers are trustable).

idk if it's been around at the times of other extreme feelings at crises point too though, like a retraumatization or chronic pain going on or getting an episode of bullying
With doctors I usually describe it as a tingling pain that radiates down my limbs & spine. I make sure to detail even the smallest symptoms I feel with it like numbness in my hands & feet or decreased appetite. My actual psych team is very concerned about it, but most of my doctors just chalk it up to being psychosomatic bc they haven't found a cause for it & stress does make it worse. I'm not sure why you would talk to adolescent health centers? But I was a teenager when mine started & imo pediatric doctors are way worse at listening to their patients. Really you need to just luck out & find someone who takes their patients seriously
 
A

Ah.ow

scared person
Mar 12, 2024
102
With doctors I usually describe it as a tingling pain that radiates down my limbs & spine. I make sure to detail even the smallest symptoms I feel with it like numbness in my hands & feet or decreased appetite. My actual psych team is very concerned about it, but most of my doctors just chalk it up to being psychosomatic bc they haven't found a cause for it & stress does make it worse. I'm not sure why you would talk to adolescent health centers? But I was a teenager when mine started & imo pediatric doctors are way worse at listening to their patients. Really you need to just luck out & find someone who takes their patients seriously
oh. can you elaborate on pediatric doctors are way worse at listening to their patients?
 
ferrie

ferrie

she/they
May 19, 2024
420
oh. can you elaborate on pediatric doctors are way worse at listening to their patients?
It depends on the doctor of course, but it was my experience that pediatric doctors were more likely to write off my symptoms. They either thought it was psychosomatic, that I was faking to get out of school, or that I was drug seeking. I think this is a pretty common experience for teen girls who don't have easy diagnoses. There's still doctors that treat me like that, but it's definitely easier to navigate since they've been more inclined to be professional the older I've gotten. Even how I was treated at 18 is vastly different than how I am now at almost 24
 
easypeasy

easypeasy

Member
Jul 1, 2024
34
I experience neuropathy. Nerve pain. Constant. 24/7. I was never supposed to walk. A whole bunch of doctors told me I would never walk again. I do walk with a cane but I feel every step. More difficult in America with no health care system here. I have had enough of it. That's pretty much why I am here
I am also in constant unbearable pain and that's why i'm here. Even in Australia, they can't cure this kind of physical pain. In America, you can buy guns. I've considered mustering my last ounce of energy to travel somewhere like America I can make this happen.
 

Similar threads

nottinghams
Replies
11
Views
219
Suicide Discussion
nottinghams
nottinghams
C
Replies
11
Views
200
Suicide Discussion
Rosebud0924
Rosebud0924
H
Replies
0
Views
172
Suicide Discussion
hopeless08
H
mushroomdug
Replies
1
Views
70
Recovery
UnrulyNightmare
UnrulyNightmare