A
Ah.ow
scared person
- Mar 12, 2024
- 185
i have some kind of pain that I don't know what to call,
but it was different than what I thought people meant by chronic pain. I have that too,
but this kind of pain overwhelms me many ways. emotionally, and reminds me of suicide maybe every time. it makes me need to do something, but medical people usually make it worse.
when I'm forced to be confined sometimes and can't walk, i feel more suicide stuff. and when I can walk, I can't walk that long. the pain episodes usually last some hours. it might relate to laying.
is there anything you relate to or have done?
I felt more suicide stuff from asking neuropathy forums. on those places I couldn't mention suicidality though
I'm confused what to say, but maybe the closest analogy I heard for physical feelings that bring strong suicidal cognition, was akathisia. 'emotional pain' was the wrong word, or separate maybe from this 'drive'? the feeling is focused, but maybe it's not a drive to suicide. the most upsetting, maybe like how concussions or other injuries that make someone change emotions faster, or that make their emotions seem simpler, less controlled, stronger, 'babyish'? I don't know, because that's just a part of me when I feel it. I'm getting lost trying to say this suicidal part of the pain.
but akathisia was another issue, with me not understanding if other people experience what I'm experiencing. for example, I wasn't experiencing constant motor symptoms.
how to describe this? does anyone specialize or understand?
but it was different than what I thought people meant by chronic pain. I have that too,
but this kind of pain overwhelms me many ways. emotionally, and reminds me of suicide maybe every time. it makes me need to do something, but medical people usually make it worse.
when I'm forced to be confined sometimes and can't walk, i feel more suicide stuff. and when I can walk, I can't walk that long. the pain episodes usually last some hours. it might relate to laying.
is there anything you relate to or have done?
I felt more suicide stuff from asking neuropathy forums. on those places I couldn't mention suicidality though
I'm confused what to say, but maybe the closest analogy I heard for physical feelings that bring strong suicidal cognition, was akathisia. 'emotional pain' was the wrong word, or separate maybe from this 'drive'? the feeling is focused, but maybe it's not a drive to suicide. the most upsetting, maybe like how concussions or other injuries that make someone change emotions faster, or that make their emotions seem simpler, less controlled, stronger, 'babyish'? I don't know, because that's just a part of me when I feel it. I'm getting lost trying to say this suicidal part of the pain.
but akathisia was another issue, with me not understanding if other people experience what I'm experiencing. for example, I wasn't experiencing constant motor symptoms.
how to describe this? does anyone specialize or understand?
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