hey, here I am, writing you a message with the help of a translator because English is not my mother tongue and even though I know how to speak it, I don't have the strength to use it right now.
I'd like to know if there are people in the community who don't suffer from any disorder/disease (I don't know if these two words are synonyms or different, sorry if I'm misusing them) who have ever "simply" wanted to die.
I've read a few posts and their replies, and it's often a question of a recognized medical disorder, often with a psychologist's follow-up. In my case, I don't have anything, or nobody ever saw that I had a problem up there. In spite of everything, I don't want to live. I thought I'd do a little post and sum it up in a few lines, but it looks like that's been largely compromised... In short, I don't want to live, but I don't have the strength or courage to kill myself. I'm afraid of the pain, afraid of failing. And yet, the idea of dying pisses me off. When I drink too much, I cry my eyes out, screaming at the universe to kill me. To give my life to someone who will cherish it.
I'm not alone or not surrounded. I'm considered a social person and always in a good mood. I'm the kind of person you know you're going to have fun with. And yet, I could go on for an entire paragraph about the fact that I feel nothing but weariness.
In conclusion, I need to talk to people who, like me, despite being "mentally healthy" and physically fit, find no joy in being envious. I feel like a fraud.
Thanks for reading. I also thank this site for existing and allowing me to "talk" about this without having to feel bad for not wanting to live! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I'd like to know if there are people in the community who don't suffer from any disorder/disease (I don't know if these two words are synonyms or different, sorry if I'm misusing them) who have ever "simply" wanted to die.
I've read a few posts and their replies, and it's often a question of a recognized medical disorder, often with a psychologist's follow-up. In my case, I don't have anything, or nobody ever saw that I had a problem up there. In spite of everything, I don't want to live. I thought I'd do a little post and sum it up in a few lines, but it looks like that's been largely compromised... In short, I don't want to live, but I don't have the strength or courage to kill myself. I'm afraid of the pain, afraid of failing. And yet, the idea of dying pisses me off. When I drink too much, I cry my eyes out, screaming at the universe to kill me. To give my life to someone who will cherish it.
I'm not alone or not surrounded. I'm considered a social person and always in a good mood. I'm the kind of person you know you're going to have fun with. And yet, I could go on for an entire paragraph about the fact that I feel nothing but weariness.
In conclusion, I need to talk to people who, like me, despite being "mentally healthy" and physically fit, find no joy in being envious. I feel like a fraud.
Thanks for reading. I also thank this site for existing and allowing me to "talk" about this without having to feel bad for not wanting to live! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
