need help with ctb

[cosidaes]

I've been making attempts since I was around 9 years old, I've just turned 20 and I'm always upset and only think about dying, because I really have nothing to be happy about.
The other day I tried electrocuting myself with my toaster in the bath but it didn't work and I came out completely unharmed other than a cut on my finger and some buzzing in my legs.
I've made maybe over 100 cuts over my arms since august and no amount of bleeding has helped.
I've also tried over dosing on various medications at least a few times in a year since I was 12 and nothing has worked.

I'm looking for something that won't permanently deform me so no burning or shooting myself or whatever, would like to try within my own home so I don't bother other people and also no good buildings to jump where I live.
Please help if you can, and please don't try and offer alternatives to suicide I'm not interested, nothing here to live for.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Please stop wasting your time trying to OD.

Why ODs Fail Miserably (A Guide)

There's still a lot of questions and inquiries about ODs, and people asking about what things may facilitate a successful attempt. Let's be clear, ODs are rarely fatal. Why? For a couple of reasons: (1) modern medications are designed to be very safe, as manufacturers aim to avoid deaths that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to be free from this torturous existence, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there isn't the option to just peacefully cease existing that is guaranteed with no more pain, I find it so terrifying how trying to cease existing can go wrong, I hope you find freedom from suffering, I wish you the best.

 

[cosidaes]

I've been making attempts since I was around 9 years old, I've just turned 20 and I'm always upset and only think about dying, because I really have nothing to be happy about.
The other day I tried electrocuting myself with my toaster in the bath but it didn't work and I came out completely unharmed other than a cut on my finger and some buzzing in my legs.
I've made maybe over 100 cuts over my arms since august and no amount of bleeding has helped.
I've also tried over dosing on various medications at least a few times in a year since I was 12 and nothing has worked.

I'm looking for something that won't permanently deform me so no burning or shooting myself or whatever, would like to try within my own home so I don't bother other people and also no good buildings to jump where I live.
Please help if you can, and please don't try and offer alternatives to suicide I'm not interested, nothing here to live for.

if anyone knows an easy way out please tell me