Need help placating my partner who might find out about my plan.

[HealNForget]

I have KN which I am planning to use to CtB when the right time comes. However, I got myself into a trap with my partner. I ended up making them suspicious by blurting out that I wanted to buy a digital scale. (I feel like I definitely need to weigh the KN since there is not enough data on successful CtB attempts compared to SN.) Unfortunately for me, I had to make up the story that I bought a research chemical, specifically a dissociative, in an attempt to self-medicate my depression.

I really need help deciding on a cheap research chemical that I might potentially have to share with my partner. It hurts that I have to do this and eventually CtB in the future, further confusing them, but I have to do this in order to keep my plan a secret until a time when I'm ready. I would appreciate any input.