Need advice with toxic relationship

[moya117]

Ik I'm dumb and stupid to still stay with him but it's almost like I'm stuck, I truly do love him Soo much that it hurts but my feelings are not reciprocated. Ik I should just broke all of this but rn, he's heavyly suicidal. We both have our own issues and I myself is hanging by a thread everyday, say, am I selfish for wanting to leave?

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

I wouldn't say you're dumb or stupid at all. Abusive relationships come in many forms. Perhaps guilt is what makes you stay? When I was 19 I was dating someone 7 years older than me, and I stayed because they tried harming themselves and I couldn't bare to think I am responsible for someone's death like that. I know it hurts, but you need to get out. Love or not, you in no way deserve to be treated like their personal parachute. When two people with deep rooted issues lean on each other, it gets worse. Love yourself enough to realize you deserve happiness and better treatment. It's not selfish at all wanting to leave abuse.

 

[Unattainable666]

You are NOT dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Repeat after me I am NOT dumb!! Okay Caring about another human being is not dumb. It's so rare in these times, but you need to take care of yourself first. If you give someone else all of you - there is nothing left for you. Make sense? I just got out of a relationship with a narc. They bleed you dry but tell you exactly what you want to hear. You sink into them body, soul, mind everything. Once done there is nothing left of you. You are a wonderful person to care about someone so much that you are giving up yourself. Because we all have issues (depression, etc.) we don't take care of ourselves the way we should, we always put someone else before us. Not sue if any of this made sense but it's my opinion

 

[moya117]

I'm sorry all, I will respond to you later, he's actively trying to kill himself

 

[charlotte_]

I'm sorry all, I will respond to you later, he's actively trying to kill himself

Oh dear, I'm sorry you're going through such a situation. Hopefully that ends well for you both.
I don't really know your situation, but you certainly are not dumb. Every relationship requires both parties to be fulfilled to a certain level to work, and if your relationship lacks that then it's totally reasonable that you want to leave. Of course you should still help him, but it is really the better choice to break up now and take care of yourself. It's clear that this relationship is draining you out. You should take a step back and take care of yourself first before anything.

 

[moya117]

I wouldn't say you're dumb or stupid at all. Abusive relationships come in many forms. Perhaps guilt is what makes you stay? When I was 19 I was dating someone 7 years older than me, and I stayed because they tried harming themselves and I couldn't bare to think I am responsible for someone's death like that. I know it hurts, but you need to get out. Love or not, you in no way deserve to be treated like their personal parachute. When two people with deep rooted issues lean on each other, it gets worse. Love yourself enough to realize you deserve happiness and better treatment. It's not selfish at all wanting to leave abuse.

Sorry to hear that, I really hope things getting better for you, it is that tough because while I can't relate 100% because our situation is different, I understand how it feels.
I really do hope that only guilt is making me stay, but no, it's a mix between guilt and love, I truly do care about him and even if we broke up, I'm just gonna wish him the best and maybe find someone else that's better than me (it is a big deal, considering I don't want to be replaced and all). Thank you for your reply.

You are NOT dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Repeat after me I am NOT dumb!! Okay Caring about another human being is not dumb. It's so rare in these times, but you need to take care of yourself first. If you give someone else all of you - there is nothing left for you. Make sense? I just got out of a relationship with a narc. They bleed you dry but tell you exactly what you want to hear. You sink into them body, soul, mind everything. Once done there is nothing left of you. You are a wonderful person to care about someone so much that you are giving up yourself. Because we all have issues (depression, etc.) we don't take care of ourselves the way we should, we always put someone else before us. Not sue if any of this made sense but it's my opinion

It does make sense and I understand it, thank youu
I Really hope you recover from that, it is a terrible situation and I can relate, especially the part where you said "They bleed you dry but tell you exactly what you want to hear. You sink into them body, soul, mind everything."

Oh dear, I'm sorry you're going through such a situation. Hopefully that ends well for you both.
I don't really know your situation, but you certainly are not dumb. Every relationship requires both parties to be fulfilled to a certain level to work, and if your relationship lacks that then it's totally reasonable that you want to leave. Of course you should still help him, but it is really the better choice to break up now and take care of yourself. It's clear that this relationship is draining you out. You should take a step back and take care of yourself first before anything.

Thank youu, it is draining me out but I choose to stay because well, love is blind. You're right, I should help him, but still I myself come first before anything.


Again, Thanks you for your kind words all, I truly believe that it's my responsibility to keep him yk, still going in life, but now I know better, just pray for me that I have the guts to leave him and not fall into his guilt trip again.
may you all have a good day and please rest well<3

 

[soolka]

youre not stupid at all! i used to be in that spot for months and it was extremely hard to leave. but in the end you are not responsible for his actions and you are not required to stay with him no matter what he says. sending you strength <3

 

[moya117]

youre not stupid at all! i used to be in that spot for months and it was extremely hard to leave. but in the end you are not responsible for his actions and you are not required to stay with him no matter what he says. sending you strength <3

Aww you're so sweet, thank you for your advice and your kind words. You too have a gooood day <3

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Ive been stuck in many abusive relationships because of how I was raised. It was just normal to me. You deserve to be respected and cherished.

You may love the idea of being with someone, more than you love a person specifically. That's how it was for me. I hated being single because I felt useless

 

[moya117]

Ive been stuck in many abusive relationships because of how I was raised. It was just normal to me. You deserve to be respected and cherished.

You may love the idea of being with someone, more than you love a person specifically. That's how it was for me. I hated being single because I felt useless

Well.. that sums up a lot of things...
I hope things get better for you tho.
Have a good day <3
May you find peace

 

[moya117]

He broke up with me, twisted the truth and said I gave him a suicide threat<3

 

[unnormal9]

Advice: Get out. It's toxic for a reason, so unless you like sulking in toxicity, get out.
Your choice in the end.

 

[Linda]

There is onyy one sensible way to deal with a relationship that isn't working, especially if it's one as toxic as you describe. Get out of it

 

[unnormal9]

I gave him a suicide threat<3

Hrm

 

[moya117]

Hrm

Yep, when HE'S THE ONE actively trying to off himself because I started to walk away, I have all the massage to prove my innocence, idk anymore, he posted it on Twitter making ME the bad person

There is onyy one sensible way to deal with a relationship that isn't working, especially if it's one as toxic as you describe. Get out of it

Already are, he got rid of himself. I tried to broke up but he gave me suicide threat, then say I have to wait for him "recovering" I basically have no other choices. But he broke up with me yesterday, I think it was because he tell stories to his online friends about me but twisted the truth.

 

[unnormal9]

Yep, when HE'S THE ONE actively trying to off himself because I started to walk away, I have all the massage to prove my innocence, idk anymore, he posted it on Twitter making ME the bad person

Already are, he got rid of himself. I tried to broke up but he gave me suicide threat, then say I have to wait for him "recovering" I basically have no other choices. But he broke up with me yesterday, I think it was because he tell stories to his online friends about me but twisted the truth.

Ah, so a two way street. Pure toxicity. You need a nice hearty rest and then make your choices.

 

[moya117]

Ah, so a two way street. Pure toxicity. You need a nice hearty rest and then make your choices.

Thank you, I needed that

 

[unnormal9]

Thank you, I needed that

Don't mention it