• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
StevieNixs

StevieNixs

Specialist
Jul 22, 2021
316
So in another thread I mentioned that one of the reasons keeping me longer than I wanted to be here was my niece whose mother died a few weeks ago (my sister). So my sister's funeral is tomorrow, and her boyfriend ambushed me and had a go at me yesterday in a very bad way. . she just sat there and let him do it. My mother was with me at the time and we were kind of shocked. The reason he went off? My niece wants to CTB despite having three children under 10 years old and one age 13. She said on the same day that her mother died (to her boyfriend) that she loves her mother more than her children. The day she found her mother, she was going to jump off a balcony. I was not there at the time. She has no history of mental illness. She, of course, knows I do. Anyway, I have been trying to get her help - counselling, therapy, crisis cafes, mental health retreats near to where she lives as her situation is different to mine. I have been suicidal on and off for over 25 years. Her kids have different fathers - well two have one present father, the 6 year old has an absent father and the 2 year old's father she lives with. So if she CTB, there would be no one to care for her 6 year old as her boyfriend would not look after her - despite what he says - and I cannot as I do not intend to be here.

Anyway she was talking to me about CTB, and I told her the difficulties with doing so and actively tried to put her off - she even got into the whole crystals/tarot/ mediumship thing as she was getting weird phenomenon in her house which continues to this day following her mother's death, and I encouraged it as a distraction. I thought it would take her mind off of her desire but it appears it did not. So it seems she has been repeatedly expressing this desire to CTB to her boyfriend (didn't know this) and when I arrived at her house yesterday he was there and said I had "encouraged her to feel this way". Absolutely outrageously untrue!! I am entirely uninterested in encouraging anyone to CTB. Even though he knows she wanted to jump well before I ever knew my sister had died, he still blamed me - Never met the man before my sister's death. He stormed off with the 2 year old and said he did not want his child to be around this sort of thing, but he has returned and they are all lovey dovey again but now - I cannot trust my niece and no longer want to engage with her in any way. Even tomorrow at the funeral - my mother, brother, myself and a mutual friend will travel in different cars to my niece, her boyfriend, children and her future mother in law. I had intended to stay around long enough to pack up my house (still in progress), help my niece move to a bigger house in a different area, help her to apply for disability benefits as she as a severe autoimmune disorder (the same my sister had). get her an adult social care worker, and get her through her driving test... Now that need is gone because of what she did, which I believe is tell her boyfriend I gave her methods to CTB which is a categorical lie. She has a bit of a history of lying about all members of the family - I keep believing she has changed - especially after my sister's death. If I wanted her to know how to CTB I would simply give her the name of this website - never done so!

I have to be honest and say - that now that I am no longer going to engage with my niece, I feel a huge burden falling from my shoulders. I can now fully focus on the task at hand. As this has happened, it has simply strengthened my resolve and left me feeling more than ever that even when you do your best to help and support other people through their pain, they can still turn on you in a second. Despite being very mentally unwell myself, I took the burden off of her by planning my sister's funeral almost entirely - my niece chose the doves! I even sorted out the florist, storage company and have been helping her clear my sister's house which is very emotionally damaging plus things such as contacting utility companies to inform the of my sister's death.... and this is what she did in return. It confirms my long standing belief that people cannot be trusted.... that people damage you.
Sorry for the long post...
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: A_miStake_of_NATURE, FuneralCry and Phosphophyllite
Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
Sounds like a mess. It's good you can divert your energy away from her. It's really a bummer she has kids to have to witness her unraveling. Hopefully they can stay safe.
 
  • Like
Reactions: StevieNixs
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,972
I'm sorry you have been through this. You are right about how people can easily turn on you, which is why I try to keep my distance from others as much as I can. I wish you well.
 
  • Like
Reactions: StevieNixs
StevieNixs

StevieNixs

Specialist
Jul 22, 2021
316
Sounds like a mess. It's good you can divert your energy away from her. It's really a bummer she has kids to have to witness her unraveling. Hopefully they can stay safe.
The thing is - I would have been around for her despite my own issues. I would have stayed longer to help her. There is a fantastic respite centre in my country where you can stay for free and have access to talk to the staff all of the time - you can also come and go when you like. She will not phone them. She will not go to this mental health crisis cafe where you can go. She will not do anything but just tell her boyfriend she wants to die - then say I am telling her methods - which I never have done. The only people I discuss methods with are people on this site... sigh.
How are you doing Alwaysbadtime?
I'm sorry you have been through this. You are right about how people can easily turn on you, which is why I try to keep my distance from others as much as I can. I wish you well.
You are entirely correct in keeping your distance. People can be so dangerous....
 
Last edited:
Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
The thing is - I would have been around for her despite my own issues. I would have stayed longer to help her. There is a fantastic respite centre in my country where you can stay for free and have access to talk to the staff all of the time - you can also come and go when you like. She will not phone them. She will not go to this mental health crisis cafe where you can go. She will not do anything but just tell her boyfriend she wants to die - then say I am telling her methods - which I never have done. The only people I discuss methods with are people on this site... sigh.
How are you doing Alwaysbadtime?

You are entirely correct in keeping your distance. People can be so dangerous....
Thanks for asking...I'm doing bad...always...all the time...lol. My brain hurts from constant stress, worry, irritation, jealousy and hate. Nightmares remind me I have nothing going on and nothing coming my way.

It sounds good to break away from your niece. That sucks she lied saying you said shit about ways to do it. I feel pissed she had so many kids...surely they sorta need to get the fuck away from her.
 
  • Like
Reactions: StevieNixs
StevieNixs

StevieNixs

Specialist
Jul 22, 2021
316
Thanks for asking...I'm doing bad...always...all the time...lol. My brain hurts from constant stress, worry, irritation, jealousy and hate. Nightmares remind me I have nothing going on and nothing coming my way.

It sounds good to break away from your niece. That sucks she lied saying you said shit about ways to do it. I feel pissed she had so many kids...surely they sorta need to get the fuck away from her.
You're funny despite feeling like shit. Yeah and she had the last child even though she's ill ffs.
I have the same hate thing going on. I've lost count of the number of people I hate. I actually hate hating. I think if I had nightmares ontop of everything else like you it would be even worse.

I'll message you when the funeral is over just to check in on you. Thank you for having my back in one of my earlier posts..
 
  • Love
Reactions: Alwaysbadtime

Similar threads

P
Replies
14
Views
220
Suicide Discussion
Stan Swiftie
Stan Swiftie
K
Replies
1
Views
101
Recovery
timf
T
T
Replies
0
Views
106
Offtopic
ThatStateOfMind
T