Help Name Change Before I CTB? (US)

[celestialstarzz]

I'd really like to change my name to something that's not my deadname before I die. I am transgender and I do not want to be set in stone with my current legal name. Has anyone here gone through a name change, and does anyone have any advice? I want to do it in secret so my family doesn't know and can't argue with it. I'm also wondering about making a will to make sure my wishes to have my changed name on my tombstone are respected. If anyone has any advice that'd be much appreciated!

 

[ovaltinee99]

Not been through this myself so no advice other than you should do what you want. Maybe the only thing to think about, in case you realise at some point you actually don't want to CTB after all, is how the name change will affect your life.

 

[ConfettiSpaghetti]

depends where you are. you should look up laws regarding things like documents, gravestones, and wills, because I'm pretty sure some countries are stricter than others. You could talk it over with a lawyer since they would be able to give you definitive answers or point you in the right direction + there's confidentiality too. not sure on age and stuff though so i dont know the limits of confidentiality in your country

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can't offer any specific advice, either, as I've never needed to do it, but I will say that it is a darn good idea to have this stipulated in a will. Obviously, you'll need to have the will drawn up after the name change is complete. You need to see a lawyer for both the name change and will. I *think* a name change is a fairly long, drawn-out affair since there are so many documents in existence with your birth name. And I'm pretty sure, but not 100%, that it involves court-related hearings and such. I'd expect it to take many months, at least, maybe longer. Good luck.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

Depending on your jursdiction and how your body is handled, it might complicate things. My family usually seems to cremate and spread the ashes, while buying a bench to put nearby. Legally whoever buys the bench gets to put what they want on it, unless the park or organisation where it is located doesn't like it, and in the same way if there is a burial, whoever owns the plot gets the final say of what goes on the tombstone. If you buy the plot beforehand, you could control what goes on it, but otherwise it would be whoever pays for your burial.
edit: I forgot you mentioned you lived in the US. This should apply to you. Whoever pays for it has the legal rights to it. I'm sorry..

 

[brokenspirited]

I'd really like to change my name to something that's not my deadname before I die. I am transgender and I do not want to be set in stone with my current legal name. Has anyone here gone through a name change, and does anyone have any advice? I want to do it in secret so my family doesn't know and can't argue with it. I'm also wondering about making a will to make sure my wishes to have my changed name on my tombstone are respected. If anyone has any advice that'd be much appreciated!

How to change your name and what government agencies to notify | USAGov

If you change your name through marriage, divorce, or court, find out how to update it with Social Security, the motor vehicle office, and other agencies.

www.usa.gov

 

[TBONTB]

I'd really like to change my name to something that's not my deadname before I die. I am transgender and I do not want to be set in stone with my current legal name. Has anyone here gone through a name change, and does anyone have any advice? I want to do it in secret so my family doesn't know and can't argue with it. I'm also wondering about making a will to make sure my wishes to have my changed name on my tombstone are respected. If anyone has any advice that'd be

I can't offer any specific advice, either, as I've never needed to do it, but I will say that it is a darn good idea to have this stipulated in a will. Obviously, you'll need to have the will drawn up after the name change is complete. You need to see a lawyer for both the name change and will. I *think* a name change is a fairly long, drawn-out affair since there are so many documents in existence with your birth name. And I'm pretty sure, but not 100%, that it involves court-related hearings and such. I'd expect it to take many months, at least, maybe longer. Good luck.

Yes, I have gone through a name change and it's really a lot of work. You need to have it legally changed, and then you will probably be asked by every organization you deal with to supply a copy of that court document. I sat in the social security office for 6 hours trying to get that done. Totally makes sense you would want this, but it is a ton of work

 

[butimstillsoblue]

One of the best things I ever did for myself. I haven't regretted it for one moment.

Once I started looking up what I needed to do, there was no turning back for me, I collected all the documents I needed and submitted them, paid the fee and waited.

Getting my new birth certificate was incredible. I was officially called the name I'd asked to be called since I was a young kid.

Changing my name on everything was tedious, but I wanted it done.

 

[celestialstarzz]

Yes, I have gone through a name change and it's really a lot of work. You need to have it legally changed, and then you will probably be asked by every organization you deal with to supply a copy of that court document. I sat in the social security office for 6 hours trying to get that done. Totally makes sense you would want this, but it is a ton of work

Yeah, I wasn't exactly sure how long it'd take, but i'd rather not be remembered by a name only my family knew me by. I don't know. Maybe one day I'll just stop caring what other people see from me after I'm dead

One of the best things I ever did for myself. I haven't regretted it for one moment.

Once I started looking up what I needed to do, there was no turning back for me, I collected all the documents I needed and submitted them, paid the fee and waited.

Getting my new birth certificate was incredible. I was officially called the name I'd asked to be called since I was a young kid.

Changing my name on everything was tedious, but I wanted it done.

I'm really glad you had a good experience with it. It definitely makes me feel a little less stressed about the whole process