Venting My wife is the only reason I’m still around

[MAKE_IT_STOP!]

She knows how bad things are for me, and I always end up hurting her. I still love her more than anyone on this planet, and she's begged me not to CTB.

Is it cruel to try to protect her by pushing her away until the point that she resents me? I know she will grieve for me no matter what. I'm just trying to ease the pain as much as possible. Maybe if she remembers me less fondly it will be easier for her to move on.

What do you all think?

 

[Aloneandinpain]

If she gives you a reason to be around then maybe stay for a bit longer?

 

[MAKE_IT_STOP!]

If she gives you a reason to be around then maybe stay for a bit longer?

Mostly because my illness is a burden to her and I continue to hurt her and make her miserable

 

[instormdrains]

Is it cruel to try to protect her by pushing her away until the point that she resents me? I know she will grieve for me no matter what. I'm just trying to ease the pain as much as possible. Maybe if she remembers me less fondly it will be easier for her to move on.

What do you all think?

How do you think she would respond to this thread if she could read it? Even if youre ill if she didn't like being with you she would of dumped you by now but she hasn't. Im very guilty of self isolation as well though

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to SS!

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

You're in an awful situation, and obviously, your wife does not understand your wish to be relieved from your pain. I don't think dropping her is a good idea. It won't make things easier - neither for you nor for her.

Maybe you should try to "prepare" her for the inevitable without revealing too much, as long as she would never agree to your personal decision. There will be pain on both sides anyway, but life will go on for her, and eventually she will understand your decision.