My time is finally here. Thank you and Goodbye ❤️

[rozeske]

I'm feeling too anxious and sick to my stomach also nauseous so I've skipped the plan of last meal and just had a milkshake of a sort before going to bed so fasting started about an hour ago till tomorrow morning. Why does this have to be so hard? I wish there was a button to just push and disappear. Hoping to manage to get some sleep. I talk in my sleep when I'm stressed or anxious, low key worried I'll blabber about my plan in my sleep. I wish this will be over soon.

 

[Raven2]

I hope that you find peace

 

[Endisclose]

Hi Rozeske. Just saw this thread, am kinda dismayed a little to see you leave. I have always found you measured and level headed and helpful generally in all your posts. I've always been wanting to message you but could never get round to it as I've been enduring a terrible health nightmare of sorts these past two years.

You have been a calming and sane voice around here for so long, it feels difficult for me to come to terms with this. All the same, I understand perfectly well that you've made your choice and wish you peace and a smooth journey. I hope you find the peace that all of us here are seeking. Take care and bon voyage.

 

[fruitninjamaster]

I hope you can find calm and rest

 

[Forveleth]

Hope you can get some rest. A milkshake is a great last meal!

 

[rozeske]

Well the anxiety has become more than I can handle and none of my usual coping mechanisms seem to calm me down. I am fighting the urge to vomit. I'm not sure i can go through with my plan in such a state of mind or if i even should. I've decided to give it a few more days and see how it goes, likely keep using this thread to update. I hate how my perfectly planned easy day turned into this mess. Thank you to all of you for your wishes and kind words. It meant a lot.

 

[Forveleth]

Well the anxiety has become more than I can handle and none of my usual coping mechanisms seem to calm me down. I am fighting the urge to vomit. I'm not sure i can go through with my plan in such a state of mind or if i even should. I've decided to give it a few more days and see how it goes, likely keep using this thread to update. I hate how my perfectly planned easy day turned into this mess. Thank you to all of you for your wishes and kind words. It meant a lot.

Take your time and only make an attempt when you are definitely ready. We are here with you either way.

 

[unluckysadness]

I hope you will be delivered from all your suffering

 

[l1f31spa1n]

I have decided today will be my last day. Tomorrow morning I'll get a hotel room and take my SN in about 21-22hrs from now. To be honest it's been a while since I stopped living. I feel like I've already died a couple years ago, this is just a formality to make my death official so people can put me in the ground and "mourn me" or whatever...get on with their lives. I've already mourned my life, the life I've lived, the life that could have been and so much more...and no one is going to mourn my life more than i deed. It took me a good while to let go and reach this decision but I've gotten to the point of accepting and feel content in my decision. I wish I had it in me to wait till after the holidays to do this but I just don't have anymore fight left in me. I wanna be gone. I've wanted to be gone for so long now. Had it not been for this site I was already at my limit two years ago and somehow it's this site that's kept me around. I've met so many kind souls here that helped me in my darkest days some already gone and some still around. I want to thank everyone here that's made it bearable for me to hang around this long, chatting with me, interacting with my posts or even with just your own posts. It meant the world to me. RAS, Mods thank you for fighting the good fight for this site's existence and for all that you do to keep this place running while still dealing with your own struggles. Please deactivate my account if I don't return.
I will be following the basic stat dose with 1000mg paracetamol, 30mg meto and 25gm sn in 50ml water with a backup cup. I wish I had benzos right now, not to take the insane amount of the recommended dose but just to ease this anxiety I'm feeling. I guess It will have to do with what I've got. I'll keep updating till the last moment and someone is going to be with me via video call and they will find a way to update this thread on what happens. I ask y'all to be kind and respectful. I love you all so much and wish you the very best wherever your path leads you

I hope you find peace up there I will pray for you tonight

I have decided today will be my last day. Tomorrow morning I'll get a hotel room and take my SN in about 21-22hrs from now. To be honest it's been a while since I stopped living. I feel like I've already died a couple years ago, this is just a formality to make my death official so people can put me in the ground and "mourn me" or whatever...get on with their lives. I've already mourned my life, the life I've lived, the life that could have been and so much more...and no one is going to mourn my life more than i deed. It took me a good while to let go and reach this decision but I've gotten to the point of accepting and feel content in my decision. I wish I had it in me to wait till after the holidays to do this but I just don't have anymore fight left in me. I wanna be gone. I've wanted to be gone for so long now. Had it not been for this site I was already at my limit two years ago and somehow it's this site that's kept me around. I've met so many kind souls here that helped me in my darkest days some already gone and some still around. I want to thank everyone here that's made it bearable for me to hang around this long, chatting with me, interacting with my posts or even with just your own posts. It meant the world to me. RAS, Mods thank you for fighting the good fight for this site's existence and for all that you do to keep this place running while still dealing with your own struggles. Please deactivate my account if I don't return.
I will be following the basic stat dose with 1000mg paracetamol, 30mg meto and 25gm sn in 50ml water with a backup cup. I wish I had benzos right now, not to take the insane amount of the recommended dose but just to ease this anxiety I'm feeling. I guess It will have to do with what I've got. I'll keep updating till the last moment and someone is going to be with me via video call and they will find a way to update this thread on what happens. I ask y'all to be kind and respectful. I love you all so much and wish you the very best wherever your path leads you

I hope you find peace up there I will pray for you tonight

 

[Realog11]

I have decided today will be my last day. Tomorrow morning I'll get a hotel room and take my SN in about 21-22hrs from now. To be honest it's been a while since I stopped living. I feel like I've already died a couple years ago, this is just a formality to make my death official so people can put me in the ground and "mourn me" or whatever...get on with their lives. I've already mourned my life, the life I've lived, the life that could have been and so much more...and no one is going to mourn my life more than i deed. It took me a good while to let go and reach this decision but I've gotten to the point of accepting and feel content in my decision. I wish I had it in me to wait till after the holidays to do this but I just don't have anymore fight left in me. I wanna be gone. I've wanted to be gone for so long now. Had it not been for this site I was already at my limit two years ago and somehow it's this site that's kept me around. I've met so many kind souls here that helped me in my darkest days some already gone and some still around. I want to thank everyone here that's made it bearable for me to hang around this long, chatting with me, interacting with my posts or even with just your own posts. It meant the world to me. RAS, Mods thank you for fighting the good fight for this site's existence and for all that you do to keep this place running while still dealing with your own struggles. Please deactivate my account if I don't return.
I will be following the basic stat dose with 1000mg paracetamol, 30mg meto and 25gm sn in 50ml water with a backup cup. I wish I had benzos right now, not to take the insane amount of the recommended dose but just to ease this anxiety I'm feeling. I guess It will have to do with what I've got. I'll keep updating till the last moment and someone is going to be with me via video call and they will find a way to update this thread on what happens. I ask y'all to be kind and respectful. I love you all so much and wish you the very best wherever your path leads you

Are you still here

 

[lawlietsph]

I saw your name and my heart dropped. We didn't talk, but I remember you. I wish you good luck and peace, whatever you decide to do.